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Wed Jul 23 10:57am EDT

Chicago county commish officially resolves that 'Detroit Sucks'

By Greg Wyshynski

Let's hope Cook County Commissioner Mike Quigley can maintain this level of intensity and snark until Jan. 1, 2009, when the NHL holds its Winter Classic at Wrigley Field. Because he's off to a flying start. From the Chicago Sun-Times, this dedicated Chicago Blackhawks fan had a message for the Detroit Red Wings yesterday:

When Quigley put together an official resolution Tuesday celebrating the Hawks' outdoor showdown against the Red Wings on New Year's Day at Wrigley Field, he included a secret message to the reigning Stanley Cup champions and their fans.

He used red capital letters in the last line of his resolution to spell out a favorite chant he learned while growing up a Hawks fan ''in the second balcony in Chicago Stadium.'' The letters spelled out, "DETROIT SUCKS."

Besides declaring Jan. 1 will be "Chicago Blackhawks Day" in Cook County, Quigley's resolution designates Wrigley Field and the surrounding area an "Octopus Free Zone" -- a dig at Red Wings fans' tradition of throwing octopi on the ice after their team scores.

Some petty moron in Texas wholeheartedly agrees with this anti-octopus stance.

You know, if Quigley really wanted to hit the Red Wings, he would have passed a resolution banning Swedes from Wrigley Field on Jan. 1. Just round them up and let'em loose in the IKEA over in Schaumburg until the game is over. Two points for the 'Hawks, done and done.

Quigley went on to say that "the good thing about being a Blackhawks fan is you don't have to live in Detroit." Funny, we always thought it was ticket availability.

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