Tue Nov 16 01:30pm EST
Gregory Campbell(notes) is in a bit of a tough spot: he's a legit NHLer who is beset with the minor hindrance of having a father who's the Senior VP and Director of Hockey Operations for the NHL (AKA the league disciplinarian), who also happens to be something worse - a hockey dad.
I say hindrance, because can you imagine all the flack this kid gets about it? I'm willing to bet teammates, opponents and fans alike all think it's open-mic night every time they get to throw out a Colin Campbell "Daddy" joke.
To a lesser extent, I can relate. I used to deal with a decent amount of BS while trying to make it as a hockey player with a Dad who won a few Cups.
If I made a team it was never legit - it was Daddy's influence. When my NHL tryout was with the Islanders? All Dad, of course.
I never cared about shaking Dad's shadow. I was proud of what he accomplished, as I imagine Gregory is of Colin. But still, I could've used the occasional first paragraph without "the qualifier": "Justin Bourne, son of Stanley Cup winner Bob Bourne, scored once and got beat up twice in yesterday's 4-3 win."
I'm sure Gregory's path has been similar.
But for me, I'm arm's length from the game now, where it's only gotten worse for the younger Campbell. That's thanks in large part to the discovery that, as mentioned by @Texas_Gal on Twitter, Colin Campbell is the type of dad to make Greg go "Dad, STOP IT, you're EMBARRASSING ME!"
In light of that, let's play a game called "If I'm Gregory Campbell." This is my best guess of the annoying little "Daddy" mentions he deals with day in/day out being a part of sentences like: "Gregory Campbell, son of NHL disciplinarian Colin Campbell, got a phantom penalty in the dying minutes of the game for almost high-sticking that little fake artist, Marc Savard(notes)."
If I'm Gregory Campbell, a borderline suspendable play can't occur without me having to weigh in on it in the dressing room. I know that any and all conversations that involve questionable plays will inevitably run through me at some point.
Looks like Daddy might be gettin' a few phone calls on that one, eh Greg? By the way, can I just call you Greg? This Gregory thing is really killin' me dude.
If I'm Gregory Campbell, the barbs are constant. They don't bother me in the slightest bit, aside from the fact that they're relentlessly unfunny.
Uh-oh! Campbell just two-arm celebrated a shinny goal, someone call his Dad and see if he's suspended for that or not.
....Soupy! Hey, Soupy! (Good chance they call him that. Hockey players have less originality than Damien Cox thinks bloggers have.) The league's gonna have to review the tape on that celly, would you mind passing the video off to Dad when you go to Sunday dinner?
If I'm Gregory Campbell, refs make little quips between whistles that I have to fake laugh at.
Oops, almost lost an edge there, don't tell your Dad I can't skate or I'll get fired!
HAHAHA shut up.
If I'm Gregory Campbell, for some reason my opponents think beaking me about my Dad could possibly bother me, which it doesn't, in any way, shape or form.
You wouldn't even be in this league if it wasn't for Daddy.
And now, with the release of the "don't you touch my dear Greggy" emails....
I guess I'm not allowed to hit you, eh? You gonna go cry your old man for a suspension or what?
If I'm Gregory Campbell, there's just very little positive gain to be found from having Dad in the position he's in, and I'm flat-out tired of hearing it. The release of those emails is an absolute pain in the ass; I bet bloggers are going to have a field day with them.
I mean, I'm glad I have a great relationship with my Dad and all, and I'm glad he's showing an interest in me and my team, but I mean, c'mon Dad....
STOP IT, you're EMBARRASSING ME.