Puck Daddy - NHL

In an interview yesterday with ESPN 760 in South Florida, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman broke out a new addition to the slang dictionary.

"When you think back at the history of this club, I remember in the Stanley Cup finals in 1995-96, Florida was absolutely bizonkers, if there is such a word, over the Panthers," Bettman said. "And I think for a team that fans see to be increasingly competitive, that excitement and that feeling will be back."

That's right: Bettman fondly remembers the excitement of Florida Panther fans and the team's run to the Stanley Cup Finals as "absolutely bizonkers."

I would imagine our fearless Commissioner was hoping to connect with the kids, and reinforce his aura of cool that Wysh attempted to bestow upon him this summer.

In order to help our dear Commish reach new heights of balla status, we here at Puck Daddy would like to expand his hip vocabulary, with some examples of potential usage:

Craptastic: "That attendance in Atlanta the other night was totally craptastic."

Redonkulous: "It seems like every goal scored against the Phoenix Coyotes is redonkulous."

Biznatch: "Russia should stop being a bunch of biznatches and agree to a transfer deal already."

Sangwich: "Daly and I are gonna head over to Chipotle to discuss Winter Classic ticket prices over some sangwiches."

Pwned: "If Koules and Barrie try to step out of line with their goofy ideas, they're going to get pwned by the NHL ..."

n00bs: "... and let me make this perfectly clear: They will be pwned, because they are n00bs."

Kabillion: "We were secretly selling Winter Classic tickets on StubHub hoping we'd make, like, a kabillion dollars."

Drop the skinny: "Every Thursday afternoon, I drop the skinny on NHL happenings with my main man Bill Clement."

Ginormous: "Jim Balsillie is a ginormous pain in my ass. And also a craptastic biznatch."

What hip, new slang words would you'd like to hear at the next NHL State of the Union address by Senor Bettman?

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47 Comments

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  1. daddymag
    1. Posted by daddymag Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:34 pm EDT

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    He's been debacled.
  2. jibblescribbits
    2. Posted by jibblescribbits Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:34 pm EDT

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    "What hip, new slang words would you'd like to hear at the next NHL State of the Union address by Senor Bettman?"
    I Resign
  3. Shane G
    3. Posted by Shane G Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:02 pm EDT

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    Jib wins.
  4. tmr
    4. Posted by tmr Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    @ jibblescribbits...
    You left no room for me to follow your comment. It was perfect.
  5. The Great One
    5. Posted by The Great One Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:19 pm EDT

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    I listened to the entire interview. Kudos to the host for not falling asleep. As usual, Bettman said nothing. In fact, the only thing I remember is that he feels the NHL could take on the college bowl games on New Year's Day. What's in his mind? Poop? To quote Bono, "Nothing changes on New Year's Day..."
    Idiot.
  6. Tim K
    6. Posted by Tim K Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:14 pm EDT

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    Nobody should post anymore on this article. Jibblescribbits shuts it down.
  7. Gary D
    7. Posted by Gary D Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:08 pm EDT

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    Agreed
  8. sh0ez
    8. Posted by sh0ez Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:22 pm EDT

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    Sweet! I didn't think I'd see my Bettman Scarface photoshop again! Thanks Sean!
  9. hockeytown blood
    9. Posted by hockeytown blood Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:42 pm EDT

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    what? you don't speak yiddish?
  10. Wyshynski
    10. Posted by Wyshynski Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:21 pm EDT

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    Thanks Jibble, you big jerk.
  11. Cousin Mose
    11. Posted by Cousin Mose Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:07 pm EDT

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    Simple, to the point and what every hockey fan desires to hear. Keep up the great work Jibbers.
  12. Adam Jones
    12. Posted by Adam Jones Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:45 pm EDT

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    Bizonkers? I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield. And I don't know why that is. It's a perfectly cromulent word.
  13. .................................................!
    13. Posted by .................................................! Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:44 pm EDT

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    Jibble is ON FIRE!
  14. Sliding Pokecheck
    14. Posted by Sliding Pokecheck Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:05 pm EDT

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    "What what?"
  15. Dany Heatley Speedwagon
    15. Posted by Dany Heatley Speedwagon Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:38 pm EDT

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    The NHL finances make me think it is in a state of Bankrupcertainty.
  16. jibblescribbits
    16. Posted by jibblescribbits Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:34 pm EDT

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    @ Wysh:
    Sorry to spoil the party, but in order to make it up to you, i suggest watching this clip, which seems relevant here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JpwjnMFlJI
  17. cristobal
    17. Posted by cristobal Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:24 pm EDT

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    PuckDaddy - You have the resources to get to the bottom of this. How is Bettman still employed? Do the Owners really like what he's doing?
    C'mon, help us understand why this torture continues...do the NHL owners really like dragging us over the coals like this?
  18. Blackcapricorn
    18. Posted by Blackcapricorn Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:08 pm EDT

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    this thread embiggins us all.
  19. Wyshynski
    19. Posted by Wyshynski Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:21 pm EDT

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    I believe Bettman still has a job because of his grasp of strategery
  20. mitchconnor
    20. Posted by mitchconnor Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:25 pm EDT

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    What of Bettman's compassionativity for the fan base?
    Bettman should combine Jibblescribbits' comment with "redonkulous", which my friends and I have decided is the next logical step beyond "ridiculous."
    Ex: "I am doing a redonkulously bad job as commissioner. Therefore, I resign."
  21. mitchconnor
    21. Posted by mitchconnor Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:25 pm EDT

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    Duh. You already put "redonkulous" up there. Mea culpa.
  22. tmr
    22. Posted by tmr Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    Bettman has a brainereal disease.
  23. Q
    23. Posted by Q Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:35 pm EDT

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    embiggen the NHL? That's unpossible.
    /curses Blackcapricorn for Simpsons reference
  24. BRIAN S
    24. Posted by BRIAN S Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:14 pm EDT

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    does Chipotle even MAKE sangwiches? didn't think so :-(
  25. sirhofh
    25. Posted by sirhofh Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:24 pm EDT

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    I'll only offer him a new word if he promises to stop using another one - "expansion"

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