Puck Daddy - NHL

One of the rather wonderful developments in our Gary Bettman: Portraits in Heroism art contest is that Puck Daddy's friends and readers have published many of their submissions on their own blogs.

Open Hockey has "Diff'rent Strokes" for the commissioner. Carolina on Ice has some terrifically hilarious (and one completely disturbing) images. Earl Sleek forgot the whole heroism thing in these submissions, but they're still rather awesome on Battle of California. If you've submitted something and want to publish it on your own slice of heaven, be our guest ... although a link back to the P. Daddy mothership would be sweeter than Don Koharski's fingers.

Once more, with feeling: Deadline for submissions is Friday, August 1 at noon EDT. E-mail contest entries (.jpegs preferred) to puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com. Judges are myself, Leahy and a 12-pack of Smithwick's.

Our first Bettman art contest gallery featured some of the best early submissions we received. Later this week, we'll publish an all-superhero gallery.

But so many contestants have honored our beloved commissioner with "Portraits in Movie Heroism" -- like sh0ez from The Pensblog's "Scarface" here -- we felt the need to share some of the more creative ones with you.

And yes, "creative" can sometimes mean "transgendered."

No, there is nothing more heroic than Gary Bettman holding Alexander Radulov in his arms with a flamethrower, scowling at the Russian KHL while shouting "get away from her you bitch!" Kudos to artist Vladimir Mezentsov.

Yet, at the same time, there's something to be said for Gary Croft: Loot Raider by Bill O'Brien. Although unlike in the video game, Bettman's rather easy to control.

Mirtle did this one. That's right, James Mirtle, author of an outstanding piece of journalism today on the NHL arbitration process for the Globe and Mail that forced the Washington Post's pinch-hit blogger to apologize for missing the story. (Did we skip that class during Journalism 101? Ouch.)

Bettman as Verbal Kint may not be all that heroic, but how can you not love potential lines like "greatest trick the Devils ever pulled was convincing the world the trap did not exist...?"

This piece, by William "Agent" Smith, is less a homage to "The Matrix" than it is a visual representation of Bettman's job approval ratings.

We wanted a hero, and damn it, Scotty G gave us a "Hero." There's got to be some psychological relevance in aligning Alexander Ovechkin with Brian Burke.

Oh, the hockey stick on the "Braveheart" tribute is a rather ingenious touch. And the choice of Bettman Face Photoshopping is inspired, for the simple fact that it appears rallying the troops agrees with him about as well as a massive bowel movement.

The classic Luke Skywalker pose by Ryan Loren is great, too. We're going to be wondering for the rest of our natural lives how Gary Bettman would respond to "aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?"

Our friends at The 2 Man Advantage created the ... uh ... "Pulp Fiction" meets the Macy's Fireworks Spectacular homage above. It's no "Go For It, Jews," but it certainly taps into the distinctive absurdity we crave here at Puck Daddy.

Every time we want to believe B.D. Gallof can't top himself, he does something like this.

And then he does something like this. Points for obscurity, points for heroism ... but a demerit for not making the RBK EDGE uniform system joke with the skintight outfit.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, I can be your wingman. Does that television over there get Versus?"

Nice goose, Derek Kalinosky.

Finally ...

Never let it be said Puck Daddy doesn't want to haunt your dreams. Twisted, Ryan Loren. Just twisted.

(Please also enjoy Gallery 1 of our Gary Bettman: Portraits in Heroism art contest.)

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