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Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:24 pm EDT

According to The Hockey News, hiring Barry Melrose may be the dumbest thing in the history of dumb

By Greg Wyshynski

The gel isn't even dry on the hair above the mullet, but Ken Campbell of The Hockey News wasted no time in rhetorically destroying the Tampa Bay Lightning's decision to officially hire ESPN's Barry Melrose as head coach today.

"Melrose was never real big on the technical side of the game in the first place. That might have been all right then, but in case the Lightning hasn't noticed, the game has been taken over by coaching and the ability to map out an effective strategy is key to success in today's NHL, particularly with a team that is as bereft of legitimate NHL talent as the Lightning," Campbell writes. Ouch.

Everyone is entitled to his opinion ... except for this one: Melrose was hired partially because he'll "sell lots of tickets with some catchy quotes and acts of notoriety."

Fact one: No one pays to watch a coach outside of Phoenix. Fact two: The Tampa Bay Lightning averaged 94.6 percent capacity and over 18,600 per home game in the most disappointing season in franchise history. All due respect to hockey men much smarter than we are like Ken Campbell and Pierre McGuire, but the "Melrose as sideshow attraction" theory has more holes than Marc Denis and Karri Ramo combined. Stop using it. Now.

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  1. driven_to_violence
    1. Posted by driven_to_violence Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:48 pm EDT

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    the mullet will lift home games to 100% capacity. the mullet will get tb into the playoffs. the mullet will never go away.
  2. tootsie
    2. Posted by tootsie Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:32 pm EDT

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    Look at some of the coaches around the league & you'll find Melrose is an OK pick.
    Meeshelle Therrien (Mr. Crybaby & his whining/diving brood)
    Joel Quenneville can blow the playoffs regardless of the talent he's given to coach
    Ken Hitchcock resume was coach of the Kalamazoo Wings
    So Barry has experience, a big mouth, never met a mirror he didn't like, but loves the game. I'll take the 'loves the game' part since some of the current coaches seem to love the game about as much as Bettman.
  3. Older_than_Moses_Shaq
    3. Posted by Older_than_Moses_Shaq Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:56 pm EDT

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    Barry Melrose single-handedly destroyed the LA Kings franchise. After getting to the finals he tore them apart brought in a bunch of big, slow, overpaid has-beens and they are still trying to overcome his ineptitude today, over a decade later. He did a good enough job on ESPN to make their memories go bad in Tampa? LOL! I thought noone would ever hire that loser again. Boy, was I wrong. And boy, so are they in Tampa. LOL!
  4. former bolt fan
    4. Posted by former bolt fan Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:20 pm EDT

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    Melrose and company will turn the Bolts into a version of the Gong Show.
    What a joke the new ownership is.
  5. lyle s
    5. Posted by lyle s Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:59 pm EDT

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    barry...oh..ahahahahahhahahahhahaha....oh man, melrooooseee....ohhhhhh dammnnnn, ahahahahhahahahahhaha...whew,this is killing me...im getting nhl center ice this year just to watch that comedy...ooohhhh hahahahahaha...who's next, reggie dunlop?? aaaahahhahaha...oh man, sorry guys..
  6. Joe W
    6. Posted by Joe W Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:24 pm EDT

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    I asked an NHL GM yesterday at a fan gathering what he thought of the new ownership of the Bolts and he said that "it's always good having hockey people in hockey". It will be very interesting to see how these aggressive moves will pay off.
  7. Whale4ever
    7. Posted by Whale4ever Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:21 pm EDT

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    To be perfectly honest, as a Panthers fan, somewhere deep down I cringe that this bizarre experiment in TB might just - against all reality - actually work.
    But it will cost them big dollars to fill all of those yawning holes.
  8. ~jai~
    8. Posted by ~jai~ Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:21 pm EDT

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    The Detroit Red Wings would like to thank the TBL for this... after all, Barry's so up on the rest of the league he didn't give us a chance to get INTO the finals... nice move guys... thanks in advance. Although, I have to say I'd rather look at the Melrose mullet than the crazy hair on the heads of those dopes I had to watch doing commentary in the playoffs. You'd think they could of at least had them looking pretty since they couldn't manage to get players names correctly.
    Between Bettman, the tv deals and the disasters-in-waiting people seem to be hiring for coaching staff.... the NHL is in big trouble! FIRE BETTMAN!
  9. Saro G
    9. Posted by Saro G Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:46 pm EDT

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    Who replaces Melrose in the NHL cameos on SportsCenter?
  10. Dutch
    10. Posted by Dutch Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:07 pm EDT

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    Honestly I didn't watch Melrose much on ESPN because that network showed Hockey so RARELY it was almost never on. I'll take Wings fans word for it, that he bet against them, although I don't know why anyone would have expected Detroit NOT to beat Nashville, Colorado and Marty Turco b4 getting to the finals..Anyway, Older than Shaq, I think the blame for the Kings lies more in bad ownership than in anything their coaches did or didn't do..I mean Bruce "the crook" McNall, the bozos who took over for him now AEG, who really only cares about getting access to LA Real Estate with their now involvement in the Staples Center. Will Melrose turn around the Lightning? Well it's always an easier task when you take over the 30th team in the League to actually show some improvement!
  11. Wilf
    11. Posted by Wilf Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:46 pm EDT

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    Saro, even a slim chance of John Buccigross is a slim chance worth taking. Hell, I hope the next NHL coaching vacancy is filled by Steve Levy if it gets us closer to more Bucci
  12. Older_than_Moses_Shaq
    12. Posted by Older_than_Moses_Shaq Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:56 pm EDT

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    If it was management, don't you think they'd have kept a team that just went to the Stanley Cup Finals? I was here. I remember him telling everybody who'd listen they needed bigger players. Guys who were bruisers. They took his advice and went from a fast team to the slowest team in the league in one year. He was history after that and his legacy in 'putting a franchise together' firmly entrenched in it. McNall was a criminal, I'll agree. But, he wanted more than anything to put a winner on the ice. The Kings are finally on the right road again. AEG wants to win. Real Estate has nothing to do with it. It's better if The Staples Center is filled to capacity than half empty, that's for sure. They are finally building a team with draft picks and younger players that can contend for years, not once in a generation as Barry would've had it.
  13. Older_than_Moses_Shaq
    13. Posted by Older_than_Moses_Shaq Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:56 pm EDT

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    I hope Don Cherry takes his place on the evil 4 letter network.
  14. denverspurs
    14. Posted by denverspurs Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:41 pm EDT

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    McNall had no more money to put into the franchise. That's why they made salary dumping an art form in the years after the cup run. And then he found the Joes, Sudikoff and Cohen, who later drew drew the attention of investigators from the Securities and Exchange Commission. And AEG wants to win? Then why did Phil Anschutz put more money in the MLS than his hockey team before the lockout? If Staples Center is a license to print money, where is AEG spending it, well, besides Becks and the Galaxy?
  15. Saro G
    15. Posted by Saro G Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:46 pm EDT

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    Buccigross' band references can get pretty tiring. But I think Shaq is on to something with his Cherry prediction.
  16. denverspurs
    16. Posted by denverspurs Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:41 pm EDT

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    And now Generous Phil Anschutz may have to pay the full amount to Dan Cloutier, according to TSN. Let's see moneybags say, "OK, no problem, I'll cover that and I won't deduct it from Dean Lombardi's allowance or from what only I feel I need to pay for a winning team."
    Not going to happen.
    http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=241472&lid=sublink05&lpos=headlines_nhl
  17. Eric K
    17. Posted by Eric K Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:31 pm EDT

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    Melrose constantly changed his mind on who was going to win a series in his analysis over the playoff season and he'll make Tampa Bay nothing more than they were this year. Bad choice TB.
  18. Doogie
    18. Posted by Doogie Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:30 pm EDT

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    You sure Campbell and Maguire are smarter than you? Campbell was against shutdown forwards getting the Selke, while Maguire is a howling blowhard with a boner for hard-hitting teenaged defencemen.
  19. Michael P
    19. Posted by Michael P Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:22 pm EDT

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    I love this choice!
  20. amma.marfo
    20. Posted by amma.marfo Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:53 pm EDT

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    I have about as much faith in him, as he had in the Lightning in the year of their Stanley Cup run.
    Those who recall that coverage, know what I'm saying.
    But I guess a return to the NHL and the right amount of money can make some people believe in anything.
  21. afghanistan_bananastan
    21. Posted by afghanistan_bananastan Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:46 pm EDT

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    Tampa Baywatchers will get sick of Melrose's act in a hurry. As will the players and owners. A seriously misguided choice. Incidentally, this is one of the franchises that Canadians think is most likely to re-locate north of the border in the next few years. Next stop, Winnipeg
  22. Joe W
    22. Posted by Joe W Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:24 pm EDT

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    Winnipeg is a very realistic option for the new ownership. The only thing that might keep this from happening is that they now own the St. Pete's Times arena, meaning that they can make a ton of money from that venue that most other owners can't.
  23. J-D
    23. Posted by J-D Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:31 pm EDT

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    Bingo, Joe. That arena is VERY profitable because it pulls in all manner of concerts, festivals, Disney on Ice, conventions, college basketball, Arena Football, etc. In fact that's probably the only reason Palace Sports and Entertainment kept the Lightning for as long as they did. The Forum is a cash cow.
    If there's a team in Florida that's likely to move, it would be the one in Miami, because practically no one cares about that sad-sack franchise. And apparently neither does the management based on the Olli Jokinen trade.
    And while we're at it... this hiring aside, why the hell are the Lightning the team everyone in Canada picks on when they feel like making fun of a Southern hockey team? Atlanta hasn't amounted to anything yet. Miami, see above. Nashville's owner is broke. Do I need to go on?
  24. tatra626
    24. Posted by tatra626 Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:57 pm EDT

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    I won't miss him on NHL broacasts . . . Without a doubt the greatest Red Wing hater . . .I think he always felt animosity, as he was never considered for a coaching job with the Wings . . .
  25. M D
    25. Posted by M D Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:43 pm EDT

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    All I remember about him, is that he put Jari Kurri on the defensive zone face off when the Kings were leading by one goal in the third period. The Kings lost that game (a playoff game).
    I don't throw out insults very often, but Melrose Place is the dumbest coach in NHL history by a longshot, perhaps even in professional sports history, but I'm not sure.

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