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Thu Jul 24, 2008 4:53 pm EDT

AHL's Iowa Chops hope to divert attention from awful name, logo by offering contract to Brett Favre

By Greg Wyshynski

Earlier this month when the Anaheim Ducks' new affiliate revealed its name and logo, we noted that the Iowa Chops could very well be the worst nickname in professional hockey. That was before we noted that their logo resembled the one for some organization called "Changing Homosexuals into Ordinary People."

There's a grand tradition in minor league sports where teams use ridiculous publicity stunts to divert attention from unmitigated disasters. So if you've named your hockey team after a cut of meat and the majority ruled that it's an embarrassment, there's only one way to go: Offering Brett Favre a contract to play hockey.

From the (gag) Iowa Chops:

Could sports fans see Brett Favre in an Iowa Chops jersey?  If Chops President Steve Nitzel has his way, Favre may be coming out of retirement to sign a playing contract with of all teams... the Iowa Chops.  "Brett is one of the greatest American athletes of the past 50 years and deserves a place to play, so we are extending an offer to him to become the newest member of the Iowa Chops Hockey team of the American Hockey League," said Nitzel.

[...]

Nitzel said the Iowa Chops have contacted and will be sending a contract to Brett Favre's agent, James ‘Bus' Cook Jr., in hopes that the quarterback will consider signing with the Iowa Chops.  "We live in a beautiful, Midwestern city here in Des Moines and play in a state-of-the-art major league venue at Wells Fargo Arena, so that meets Brett's criteria of places to play," said Nitzel.  "We wanted to be the first team to offer him something new and challenging, and I believe he will enjoy the thrill of raising the Calder Cup just as much as he did the Vince Lombardi Trophy back in 1997."

Look, it's all in good fun and yadda yadda ... but is it too much to ask an AHL affiliate not to act like some D-list bush league franchise trotting out the hockey playing donkey to get five extra tickets sold? Seriously, at least Manute Bol actually got in the uniform. But hey, mission accomplished: People stopped talking about how awful your name, logo and team philosophy are. At least for an hour.

Besides, Favre would make a lousy hockey player. We don't tolerate gargantuan levels of intercepted passes in our game.

(Thanks to Puck Daddy reader Kimberly for the tip.)

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28 Comments

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  1. Bubbabanjo
    1. Posted by Bubbabanjo Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:05 pm EDT

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    It could be improved.....Remember that cheap movie Motel Hell. Pighead Chainsaw fight. Now thats a logo!
    Wyshynski you stink!
  2. Wyshynski
    2. Posted by Wyshynski Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:21 pm EDT

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    Now wait ... was "Motel Hell" where they buried the guests up to their necks to harvest them?
  3. PNLTBX
    3. Posted by PNLTBX Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:15 pm EDT

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    *lol* uh, you're welcome ;-)
  4. Bubbabanjo
    4. Posted by Bubbabanjo Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:05 pm EDT

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    Same one....and pighead chainsaw fight! Awesome flick!
    Wyshynski you stink!
  5. lyle s
    5. Posted by lyle s Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:59 pm EDT

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    i mean...the hog wilds...or the rabbid pigs...or something...but come on burke...the chops...oi vey!!
  6. A Yahoo! User
    6. Posted by A Yahoo! User Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:26 pm EDT

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    Favre playing hockey is funny! Who is going to make him leave the ice? He'd be the only player to play the entire game.
  7. Journeyman
    7. Posted by Journeyman Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:49 pm EDT

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    Peter King just bought Chops season tickets
  8. Skip Intro
    8. Posted by Skip Intro Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:40 pm EDT

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    Open note to Kirby Schlegel & Steve Nitzel:
    For myself and on behalf of the dozen or so other hockey fans in Iowa, please stop.
    I'm serious. Take all your plans, ideas, and cheap marketing stunts, stuff them in a gear bag, and take a permanent road trip on the next bus departing downtown Des Moines.
    I understand you have a tough job. Especially in smaller markets, there's a fine line between sublime marketing genius and sheer asshattery. Unfortunately, you've stomped all over this line with an inane joke of a team name (undoubtedly adopted as a brainstorm of the ownership – no self respecting agency or marketing staff would let it live beyond a creative meeting) and now this ham-handed (sure, pun intended) cheap headline grab.
    Being a hockey fan in this state is tough enough but watching your huckster antics is like hearing Weezer doing a jingle for Wal-Mart.
    Not kidding. This is unboarable.
  9. 5 4 fighting
    9. Posted by 5 4 fighting Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:01 pm EDT

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    Favre and Tampa Bay Bucs-very interesting.
  10. CD
    10. Posted by CD Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:24 pm EDT

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    Nitzel just needs to shut his trap and talk about what he knows, minor league hockey!
  11. Whale4ever
    11. Posted by Whale4ever Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:21 pm EDT

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    Iowa Chops.
    Just doesn't get old.
  12. kevin s
    12. Posted by kevin s Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:50 pm EDT

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    Put Farve in net,lets check out his defensive skills for once.
  13. DSM_Guy
    13. Posted by DSM_Guy Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:50 pm EDT

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    get over it wyshininsenski, iowa chops are here to stay. it's the perfect name for a team from the #1 pork producing state in the us. the iowa stars were not big and bright deep in the heart of iowa. they had more identity with texas than they do here in iowa. the biggest news should be that shlegel sports is cutting ticket prices making hockey more affordable, and hopefully popular in iowa. iowa is the wrestling state, the best wrestlers come out of iowa but i hate wrestling, i love hockey so if you, as a hockey fan can't get past the name and realize that schlegel is expanding the game you love, then shame on you as a hockey fan. go chops! come to iowa brett!!
  14. DSM_Guy
    14. Posted by DSM_Guy Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:50 pm EDT

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    Also, for those of you who think Nitzel is serious about Favre playing open your eyes. This is a huge publicity stunt and it's working. If it weren't working you wouldn't be writing/commenting about it.
  15. Wyshynski
    15. Posted by Wyshynski Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:21 pm EDT

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    @ DSM_Guy
    There's seriously zero chance you don't work for the team.
  16. puhl64
    16. Posted by puhl64 Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:22 pm EDT

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    Well... I dont work for the team, and I am not a big fan of the name. But I did by season tickets for my son and me. Why? They cut the prices so that it affordable to see numerous games! I liked to see the Stars, but the prices were a bit steep to do it often.
    I do hate to think what they are going to call our version of the "ice girls" though...
    Go Chops!
  17. Pluschy
    17. Posted by Pluschy Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:34 pm EDT

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    Wyshinski is making cracks on Favre? I bet you couldnt throw a football 10 yards so just sit there behind your little laptop and keep thinking youre somethin special.
  18. DSM_Guy
    18. Posted by DSM_Guy Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:50 pm EDT

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    @ Wyshynski
    I serisouly don't. I'm a 22 year old college student and I attend the University of Northern Iowa. I just love hockey man, come one. I wish I worked for the Chops but I have another year of school left. I do however work for a non-profit historic house museum in Des Moines this summer and I'm planning a classic car show, not working for the Chops. Check it out at www.salisburyautoclassic.com! Send me a message and I'll even let you Facebook me!
  19. books
    19. Posted by books Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:22 pm EDT

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    Let me guess, they're hoping Favre will be able to quarterback the power play? Hopefully, that's not the motivation or the Chops management will be set sail down the river really quickly. Speaking of rivers, pigs and the subject of C.H.O.P.S. any chance their logo was inspired by the movie Deliverance?
    Seriously, they have a better chance of signing Gordie Howe...who I'm sure could still out skate Favre and give him a cuncussion with his 'ol elbow while blowing by him.
  20. JR
    20. Posted by JR Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:08 pm EDT

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    Again, Yahoo, why does Greg Wyshynski have a job? Pointless
  21. Rio Guadalupe
    21. Posted by Rio Guadalupe Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:49 pm EDT

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    I can see the t-shirts now- "Favre- the other white meat"
  22. kevin s
    22. Posted by kevin s Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:50 pm EDT

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    I just heard that Favre just signed with the Icehogs instead.
  23. Broodwich
    23. Posted by Broodwich Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:25 pm EDT

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    I live in Iowa but grew up a big hockey fan in Colorado. I say this because I have found that Iowans who aren't in agriculture are easily offended about being associated with a bucolic lifestyle that is pervasive here. Iowa is a great place to live, but it is not cool daddy-o. I am a serious hockey fan but I also know how to take a joke about farmy Iowa, vampire pigs and Brett Favre dumping it in the crease. This town needs an enema! Skip: you can count me out of the hockey fan class action complaint against Nitzel; I'm using the $500 bucks I usually drop on two annual visits to Blues games to buy Chops season tickets.
  24. Michigander21
    24. Posted by Michigander21 Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:35 pm EDT

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    Broodwich,
    I find the Chops name to be as uncreative and uninspiring as any I have ever seen. Translation: lame name.
    However, I am seriously impressed by your determination to support your local product. I hope the Chops have a good year and you have a great time at the games.
  25. UNI_Chop
    25. Posted by UNI_Chop Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:30 pm EDT

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    @ Michigander21
    I will admit when the name was first released I questioned it, but now it has grown on me and I truly like the name and logo. I ask you how is the name Chops uncreative? Minor league teams are well known for their unique names that have a cultural, political, and/or a regional reference. Some of them are great, some are silly, but this is the creativity that I like about the minor leagues.
    You want to talk about uncreative, look at the option for the new Oklahoma City NBA team ........ lame (except for Energy which should not be used seeing how the Iowa Energy an NBA-D League team already exists).
    Oklahoma City Barons
    Oklahoma City Bisons
    Oklahoma City Energy
    Oklahoma City Marshalls
    Oklahoma City Thunder
    Oklahoma City Wind

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