On Wednesday, the Detroit Red Wings began a presale for Stanley Cup Finals tickets that required a special code. And guess who just happened to discover that code: The good folks of the LetsGoPens.com boards, who began crowing about the quality tickets they were scoring for Finals games in Detroit. Well, at least with all of these Penguins fans filling seats at the Joe, Mitch Albom won't have anything to complain about.

While a Detroit/Pittsburgh Stanley Cup Final still seems like a foregone conclusion at this point -- The "Every 33 Years" Campaign be damned -- there's someone seemingly determined to jinx the hell out of both of them. Shop.com already screwed the Penguins in Game 4 by releasing Eastern Conference Champions hats before what could have been the clincher in Philly. Well, the Web site was selling a full wardrobe of conference championship gear for the Pens and the Red Wings as of Friday night. Even up 3-1, you do not want to anger the Hockey Gods. No sir, you sure don't.

Yippee! Blackouts are awesome! If it weren't for some unfortunate power failures on the East Coast, this would have been up this afternoon. Instead, here are your Evening Puck Headlines: A glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

• NBC took a load of heat for the way it handled overtime on Preakness Saturday during the Eastern Conference Finals last postseason. Well, the Peacock is contractually obligated to leave the Dallas Stars/Detroit Red Wings Game 5 for Big Brown's inevitable win in the Preakness. So its hockey coverage has a three-hour window to complete the game -- good for one overtime, NBC believes -- before action shifts to Versus. [Dallas Stars Blog]

• Yes, Sean Avery is actually an intern at Vogue. And yes, his internship has officially started. Countdown to manufactured romance with L.C. from The Hills in 3...2...1... [Deadspin]

• Carolina Hurricanes GM Jim Rutherford claims that refusing to give Coach Peter Laviolette a vote of confidence was standard operating procedure, at least before Laviolette met with owner Peter Karmanos. We are quite happy that Carolina Hurricanes GM Jim Rutherford is not our boss. [Lord Stanley's Blog]

• Tomas Holmstrom, on crashing the crease: "I think the goalies are pretty good, too, to fake when they get hit and stuff like that.  Of course, they have their blue paint to be in.  But, you know, sometimes they fake it well, too." Also, he doesn't believe he needs to shed any weight from his giant T-Ho rump. [NHL.com]

• Welcome to Randy Jones country, bitch. [Telegraph Journal]

• Barry Melrose wants to coach again, and believes that the job in San Jose is the best one available. OK, here's the deal: The Mullet can coach the Sharks as long as Roenick's on the roster, and they give joint press conferences after every game. [Sharkspage]

• The Ottawa Citizen collects every rumor about John Tortorella whispered in the last two months, tosses them together and decides that Torts is the next head coach of the Senators. [Faceoff]

• Offended with Sidney's facial hair? The good men of the Brotherhood Of Mustached and Bearded Studs Tired of Accepting Criticism for Hairface Endeavors, or BOMBSTACHE for short, would like a word with you. [MYFO]

• Canada and Russia are the last teams standing in the IIHF World Championships, and are scheduled to play a game that will be more entertaining that 95% of what we've seen in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. [Globe & Mail]

• Japers found an awesome Web site: HockeyZonePlus, which offers users the chance to research the salary history of players going back to 1989. So JP took a gander at the Washington Capitals' salary history, and discovered that the Caps have spent more on Adam Oates than they have on Alexander Ovechkin.

• Finally, Flyers fans aren't the strongest spellers. So why, The Hockey Show, did you decide to give that nice young man with the painted chest "V-a-n-b-i-e-s-b-r-o-u-c-k?"

As if you needed any more evidence that Pittsburgh sports fans are absolutely insane about their teams, watch that video to understand the lengths gone to profess the local love.

That's a prosthetic leg. Adorned with a massive Penguins logo. And a captain's C on the back. Man, I want one of these and I luckily have both of my legs.

"If they win the Stanley Cup, I'll put the Stanley Cup on it." We're going to hold you to that, chief.

What hockey players other than Gretzky and Leetch would fit into this category?

Mark Messier, Vancouver Canucks

After beginning his legendary career in Edmonton and cementing his place in the hearts of New Yorkers thanks to his Game 6 guarantee (video) and Stanley Cup delivery a short while later (sorry for the flashback, Wyshynski), Messier signed with the Canucks after the 1996-97 season and was immediately given the captaincy from Trevor Linden.  From there, things went downhill. "Moose" had his worst point production of his career that first season, and also insisted that he wear No. 11 -- even though the franchise had kind of retired it in honor of Wayne Maki. After three injury-plagued and woeful season, Mess returned to the Rangers in 2000 and finished up his Hall of Fame career on Broadway.

Bobby Orr, Chicago Blackhawks

Everyone has seen the Cup-winning goal in the 1972 Finals where Orr went "airborne" after scoring. Orr became immortal in the city of Boston because of that moment and seeing him "Commit to the Indian" back in 1976 was just plain weird.  Thanks in part to the shady Alan Eagleson, Orr's agent at the time, the former head of the NHLPA colluded with then Chicago owner Bill Wirtz by telling the Hall of Fame defenseman that the Blackhawks had a better deal to offer than Boston. Unbeknownst to Orr, the Bruins had a similar offer, but threw in an 18% ownership stake in the team. He would play only 26 games over the next three seasons and was inducted into the Hall of Fame at age 31 in 1979.

Brett Hull, Phoenix Coyotes

After Hull signed with Phoenix in 2004 to a $4.5 million deal, the Coyotes/Jets organization made a huge deal about it. The franchise unretired his father's No. 9 jersey; from then on, things went south.  The "Golden Brett's" first year in the desert was 2005-06, the first year after the lockout and the "new" NHL ate him up. Hull was unable to keep pace with the speed of the game anymore and after just five games, he hung up his skates for good.

Eddie Giacomin, Detroit Red Wings

Reduced to a mediocre goaltender in 1975 by injuries, the beloved Giacomin and his high salary was shredded by the Rangers brass and he found his way to Detroit.  Just two nights after being signed -- in a touch of irony -- Giacomin returned to Madison Square Garden as the Red Wings faced off against New York. The Big Apple crowed gave No. 1 a standing ovation and booed the home team throughout the game. In 1989, Giacomin was given the honor of having his No. 1 raised to the rafters of MSG alongside Rod Gilbert.

Pat LaFontaine, New York Rangers

A growing theme here is "said player leaves the organization he's most associated with and the crap hits the fan." Pat LaFontaine keeps that trend going when, after he demanded a trade from Buffalo, he joined the Rangers and managed only 67 games; diagnosed with a concussion after colliding with a teammate and eventually retired. I would think some Islanders fans had a wry smile after seeing the former Isle join the dark side, donning a Rangers sweater.

I would image that there are so many more of these cases throughout hockey history. 

Can you think of any other players that would qualify?

"Mike Richards slashed Sidney Crosby three or four times, provoking the star center into a fight. Crosby made a feeble attempt to act tough, throwing a shot at Richards after the refs had bottled him up. And that's a lucky thing for Crosby, because there is absolutely no question he wanted no part of the Flyers captain-in-waiting. We've seen Richards fight, and he's pretty damn good at it. He pummeled Alexander Ovechkin during the duo's rookie campaign, and if not for the referees protecting Gary Bettman's Golden Boy, there's a more-than-great chance Richards would have beaten Crosby to a pulp." - Joe Boland, Philly Sportsline

So Crosby comes off as a puss, but what about Richards? I received an e-mail from a colleague this morning with the subject header "Is Mike Richards a bitch?" that urged me to check out his dance card from HockeyFights.com. The Philadelphia Flyers center has brawled with the likes of Sean Avery a few times, but he's also gotten into scraps with guys like Garnet Exelby and Brandon Dubinsky. He likes to get feisty, but he's not fighting out of his weight class. Then again, the Flyers aren't paying him for the next dozen years to be Bob Probert, so his career as a pugilist may be a bit immaterial.

The more specific question is whether his actions at the end of Game 4, with the Flyers clearly headed to victory over the Pittsburgh Penguins, could be considered "bitchly." In the slash-fest that followed their face-off, Richards was merely capping a night in which he frustrated Crosby. Tyler at NHL Digest thought that Richards forced Sid to lose focus throughout the game, which unfortunately triggered his whining reflex. The 4^th Star thinks that Sid's complaining, and those ever-present accusations of chronic diving, all but justify Richards taking his shot at him.

I'm not sure Richards comes off all that classy by mixing it up like this after his team barely keeps its playoff heartbeat from flat-lining. But he does come off as savvy, forcing an opponent one win away from the Stanley Cup Finals to look nervous, defensive and agitated. It was a nice bit of playoff gamesmanship -- and let's all simultaneously scratch our heads as to why Coach Michel Therrien had "Crosby on the ice with 10 seconds left and 2 goals down."

Brunnstrom ended up signing with the Dallas Stars for a two-year deal that could net him up to $2.5 million per season. GM/Ambassador of Fun Brett Hull said that the chance to step into the lineup immediately next year was a determining factor. That may not be the entire story. Battle of Alberta caught an interview with Calgary Flames GM Darryl Sutter on The FAN 960. According to BoA, the Flames were after Brunnstrom but didn't get him, and the impression they were under after hearing the interview was that Brunnstrom "was looking for a Top 2 Lines assurance; Dallas either gave it to him, or he thought it was more realistic there." Promising a question mark a certain spot in the lineup? Let's hope not.

Meanwhile, photos of this Brunnstrom fellow are hard to come by, so the new Puck Daddy policy is to run some Swedish eye candy whenever we have something to report on him. We don't expect this will affect the frequency of our coverage. That said, please join us an hour from now for our story on what Brunnstrom might have for dinner tonight, and then coverage throughout the weekend about his favorite colors and his feelings on dogs and other household pets.

Great ... now we can't even go to Mali to get away from Steelers car flags and Pittsburgh Penguins bumper stickers. But we do believe this is,in fact, the largest number of people to simultaneously chant "Let's Go Pirates" since 1992.

Speaking of Burkey, with Anaheim Ducks owner Henry Samueli accused of securities fraud and possibly facing criminal charges, Rick Westhead of the Toronto Star wonders if Burke might have an escape clause in that contract of his. Because, you know, no one in Anaheim has ever found their way around a contractual obligation. Steve Maich of MacLean's offers another interesting candidate for Toronto: Craig Patrick, the former GM of the Penguins and a USA Hockey legend. Why not? If anyone needs a miracle on ice, it's the Leafs.

I've spoken to Kimmo Timonen on a few occasions, and he's one of those great postgame ambassadors for a team: Soft-spoken but jovial, filling reporters' notebooks with well-reasoned insight while always keeping the focus on the rest of his teammates. If that's one of the virtues of being a strong leader, then the Philadelphia Flyers have one hell of a strong leader in Timonen.

So while I'm sure Timonen's surprise pregame speech in the Flyers' locker room last night wasn't going to make anyone forget Pacino in "Any Given Sunday" (video), it was likely enough to inspire something Philly hasn't had in the Eastern Conference Finals against the Pittsburgh Penguins: Confidence.

Three goals in the first period, with two on a power play that's sorely missed Timonen. A feisty defensive game that finally managed to yank the welcome mat in front of the Flyers' zone away from the Penguins. Marty Biron suddenly forgetting that as a Flyers goalie deep in the postseason, he's obligated to fall apart at the seams. And perhaps the greatest indication of newfound confidence: It looked like Flyers hockey again last night:

That said, let's all take a deep breath and ask ourselves if the Penguins are allowed a bad game in these playoffs; because they hadn't had one yet before looking as flat as a silver dollar at IHOP last night.

The Pens allowed the Flyers more access to the offensive zone and in front of Marc Andre-Fleury than they had in the previous three games; indeed, as Ed Barkowitz so eloquently put it in the Philadelphia Daily News, the Flyers had previously "seemed to treat the Penguins' crease as if it were being guarded by Martha Stewart watering petunias."

It's impossible, based on one game, to figure out if Coach John Stevens's adventurous new line pairings that placed Mike Richards and Danny Briere on the same shift made such a colossal difference, or if the Penguins just laid an egg. (And if they did, I hope it never hatches, because "Happy Feet" sucked.) Whatever the case, the Flyers have received a stay of execution. "The longer you let them breathe, the worse it gets," Penguins defenseman Brooks Orpik said after the game.

Damn right, and watch those orange-and-black lungs fill with air if Timonen and Braydon Coburn make their improbable returns to the lineup for Game 5. For the Flyers, it could turn momentum into a movement; the Lucky 33 campaign is already picking up steam.

But here's the bitter reality for Flyers fans: They're going to have to win at Mellon. And the Penguins haven't lost there in the third round, the second round, the first round, April or March; their last non-overtime loss was on Feb. 13 against Boston, back when Sidney Crosby was in street clothes, ConkBlock was the starting goalie, and Clemens was talking to Congress.

The Flyers have the momentum. Pittsburgh has the 3-1 lead, and a 15-game winning streak at home. Who would you rather be?

Rick Nash of the Columbus Blue Jackets has been on the short list of finalists for the last few years. Musicians still throw elbows at peers to get on the cover of Rolling Stone; for a generation of young NHL players like Nash, being featured on a hockey title for Xbox or PlayStation is attaining a similar level of validated celebrity. "My idols have all been on the covers of video games as I was growing up," Nash said.

Nash was announced this week as the cover athlete and spokesman for "NHL 2K9," the latest installment of the popular series due out in September. Yesterday, I spoke with Mike Rhinehart, senior product manager for 2K Sports, about the process of selecting a player for the cover and why it was the finally the right year to give it to Nash.

He said the case for Nash was a strong one: He's a young star with a strong personality, and he's a sports video game fanatic. But based on some of his exploits this season, it's almost as if Nash was lobbying for the honor -- including one famous goal that looked like it was straight out of a video game.

Rhinehart said Nash was always a strong candidate: "He won the 'Rocket' Richard Trophy at 19. He's now the second-youngest captain in the League." But there were two moments this season that may have catapulted Nash's name to the top of the short list. At the NHL All-Star Game, Nash netted a hat-trick, scoring just 12 seconds into the game to break a 58-year-old record set by Ted Lindsay. But what put him over the top was "The Goal": January 17, 2008 against the Phoenix Coyotes.

"He had probably the most incredible goal I've seen in the last 10 years," said Rhinehart. "We just thought, ‘Wow, this kid if the real deal.'"

Rhinehart and I talked more about how Nash made the cover of NHL 2K9:

Q. What sealed the deal for Nash?

I travel to All-Star [Weekend] pretty much for the last decade or so because of the video game thing. I've run into Rick a few times at All-Star now, and this past year in Atlanta we had a video game tournament taking place prior to the game. It was actually the same red carpet that the players walked down. Rick walks by the tournament, sees the contestants, and he was as amazed by the guys who won a trip to All-Stars by playing a video game as they were to be standing in front of Rick Nash. It made us do a double-take: Rick is as excited to talk to these gamers as they are to him. He's a gamer, too.

Q. Is that something you typically look for? You see some of these cover boys and you feel like the last game they played was Mario Kart back in '94.

We try to indentify with someone who has some gaming background. Marty Turco, if you look at "2K6," he came into the studio and worked with our guys on a feature in the game. Joe Thornton did the same thing last year with our developers. He sat down and worked on the face-offs in the game. He said, "It would be interesting to see face-offs in hockey games change." And our guys are like, "He's right, they haven't changed in 15 years." These little tidbits that players can bring make us excited to work with Rick. He's coming to our studio at the end of the month to work on some other things.

Q. Was there any concern about Nash playing in a market like Columbus, with a relatively new NHL team that has yet to make the Stanley Cup Playoffs?

He's one of those guys you want to jump on with because the younger sports fan is really looking at these players. Not necessarily what team they're on. Remember when you're a kid and there's one player that everyone loved regardless of what team they're on?

Q. Fedorov. Fedorov was the [poop] back in the day, even if you hated the Wings.

Exactly. And we look at Rick as one of those guys. We love the market he's in. It's enthusiastic, it's a growing sport in a new area.

Q. Everyone's seen the goal on YouTube. Has the online video revolution changed things for a guy like Nash, who's playing in Columbus rather than in New York or somewhere like that? Does his celebrity transcend where he plays?

Absolutely. We have to give the NHL credit for being the first to jump on the YouTube bandwagon. At the end of the day, that's how these things get passed around. It's broken down every market barrier.

--

Rhinehart, incidentally, is a huge San Jose Sharks fan along with having one of the most pimp jobs we've come across. He said his two greatest All-Star Game memories were seeing Jeremy Roenick throw a rare body check during a game a few years back, and this season's goaltending clinic by Evgeni Nabokov. He and his brother were decked out in Sharks gear -- pretty much the only ones in Atlanta -- geeking out for Nabby in the stands. "We were screaming at the top of our lungs, to the point where SJ Sharkie ran across the arena to give us high-fives," he said.

FYI: His choice for the next Sharks coach? Assistant Tim Hunter "would be amazing."

No. 2 star: Jordan Staal, Pittsburgh Penguins
It's already been an emotional series and Staal provided some inspiring moments in Game 4, scoring a pair of goals in the third period a day after attending his grandfather's funeral in Thunder Bay, Ontario. Staal snuck both goals just inside the near post, almost single-handedly willing the Penguins to a miraculous comeback. If anyone deserved a weekend off after a four-game sweep, it was Staal.

No. 3 star: Scott Hartnell, Philadelphia Flyers
If Briere is the Flyers' hiding-in-the-weeds forward, Hartnell is the in-your-face pest. The grit in Philly's No. 1 line Thursday, Hartnell picked up three hits and three assists after going scoreless in the first three games of this series.

Major penalty: Our resident Puck Daddy didn't draw three stars duty tonight, but we darn near ran this pre-game post as our Game 4 recap. Coach John Stevens' line adjustments did work, Briere and Richards did click, Martin Biron did rebound and the Penguins did stink. Nice calls, P-Daddy. Pittsburgh sure did skate like a team with a sense of entitlement Thursday. While the Flyers won puck battles and created traffic in front of Marc-Andre Fleury, the Pens treated Game 4 like a skills competition. While they are the more skilled team in this series, that only goes so far when the opposition draws a line in the sand.

Minor penalty: You know you're digging yourself a hole penalty-wise when a rare clipping call surfaces. The Pens took five minor penalties in the opening period, which led to a pair of power-play goals for the Flyers. Not much to complain about back in Pittsburgh. The Pens were simply outworked in the opening 20 minutes.

Conn Smythe watch

1. Henrik Zetterberg, Detroit Red Wings
2. Evgeni Malkin, Pittsburgh Penguins
3. Pavel Datsyuk, Detroit Red Wings
4. Chris Osgood, Detroit Red Wings
5. Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins
6. Johan Franzen, Detroit Red Wings
7. Marc-Andre Fleury, Pittsburgh Penguins
8. Marian Hossa, Pittsburgh Penguins
9. Daniel Briere, Philadelphia Flyers
10. Brenden Morrow, Dallas Stars

The Flyers fans in our happy blog family will no doubt know the name Shawny Hill, or at least know his sick dance moves and unparalleled grace (ignore the "See you next season" at the end of the video; this was a tribute to Hill from another year). He's the rotund human dance revolution that fires up the crowd on the Wachovia Center Jumbotron during games. The 700 Level pointed us to this interview with Hill on Philly Mag's Daily Examiner, in which the senior at Rowan University is labeled as the Philadelphia Flyers' "secret weapon." Hill shared his thoughts on several subjects, including:

Espn.com named the Flyers as having the most intimidating fans - tell me, what's so intimidating about your dance skillz?

It's the power behind my dance moves. When I get my body moving, there's a lot of force behind it.

What's your pre-game workout? A little Dance Revolution? Watching old MJ music videos?

I'm actually like a player. I played hockey for so many years, so during the pre-game videos and stuff I'm like bouncing around with my "game face" on. I absorb the energy in the building so that I'm ready to give my all as a fan as the puck drops.

Sidney Crosby's playoff "mustache" looks most like that of: a) a pedophile; b) a pedophile on ice skates; c) ____________ (fill in the blank)?

C) The unpopular girl in high school who didn't wax it off. However, to her credit, she was All-State on the diving team.

Ew, burn! Lighthearted questions with obese dancing fans aside, the Flyers have a real shot tonight against the Pittsburgh Penguins. Coach John Stevens has done some smart reshuffling of lines. At this point in the playoffs, all it can take is one good line to start kicking tail to carry a team; reuniting Briere-Richards-Hartnell has the potential to create a scoring line like that, especially with the last change at home. Marty Biron needs to be a hell of a lot sharper, but he's about as due for a good game as the Penguins are due for a bad game, if you believe in that sort of thing.

Penguins fans and Flyers bashers want this thing done tonight. Our motto in situations like this: The more hockey, the better. The Stanley Cup Finals aren't going anywhere.

It's interesting to see how the Dallas Stars react to the cephalopod on their side the rink. One player clearly smacks his stick on the octopus as he skates by, but it appears as though the rest of the team knowingly avoids it before the ice crew runs out to snag it. Wonder if that's a superstition thing or a "what the hell is that smell?" thing. 

As much as the NHL has tried to tinker with this grand playoff tradition, it remains something fans are eager to see wherever the Detroit Red Wings are playing.

Where were you on May 15, 1984? Ozzy Osbourne was being booked on public intoxication charges in Shelby County, Tennessee. While wearing a St. Louis Blues shirt. [St. Louis Game Time]

No Braydon Coburn, no Gary Roberts for tonight's tilt between the Pittsburgh Penguins and Philadelphia Flyers. Pittsburgh claims that Roberts has a mild case of pneumonia. Obviously, they don't understand that Gary Roberts doesn't get pneumonia; pneumonia gets Gary Roberts. [Sportsnet]

Our buddy Kevin Schultz brings back his Playoff Beard Awards, including MVP Alex Ovechkin for his version of "the Ted Kaczynski." While we're indeed impressed with Ben Guite's tribute to Lemmy from Motorhead, we're convinced that the greatest innovation in the Field of Playoff Beardery is Jaromir Jagr's caterpillar. [Barry Melrose Rocks]

The Boston Bruins have re-signed Chuck Kobasew, but their cap situation will make it very hard to chase after someone like Marian Hossa in the off-season. Especially considering he's going to sign with the Habs (e10,000). (No, seriously, we're just guessing.) (And we'd never make you pay for rumors, even if we had some to sell.) (Promise.) [Bruins Blog]

We're rather fond of Raskolnikov from Melt Your Face Off for his ornate ability to turn "don't go there" into "I just did." His latest: Imagining rink-side reporters like Pierre McGuire and Chris Simpson in the Modano/Ford marital bedroom. [MYFO]

The KB introduces the good people of Vancouver to the Canucks' new assistant to the regional manager at Dunder Mifflin, Mr. Scott Mellanby. [Orland Kurtenblog]

Firing up the bandwagon to bring the 2011 World Juniors to Buffalo. We're all for this: Dozens of 19-year-old European players experiencing atomic buffalo wings for the first time is a YouTube classic waiting to happen. [Third Man In]

When Tony Kornheiser announced he was ending his career as a newspaper columnist, we just assumed he had finally run out of stamps after mailing it in for the last several years. On Frozen Blog offers its own tribute to Mr. Tony, who has bashed hockey so vehemently for the last two decades that his hands must be exhausted. Well, from that, and from counting that fabulous ESPN moolah. [OFB]

Finally, Edmonton-era Wayne Gretzky doll was great at making time with Barbie. Especially Struggling Actress Who Wants To Leave Canada and Move To L.A. Barbie. [Hockey Beat]

Or were they silently observing the press conference while thinking to themselves, "C'mon, man, we've got glamour franchises and good ratings and positive momentum ... let's not talk about what an embarrassment our officiating has been during this postseason, m'kay?"

We've seen the degrees of ignominy gradually increase for NHL officials when it comes to goalie interference during the 2008 Stanley Cup Playoffs. It started with Sean Avery's clowning in front of Marty Brodeur (video); we all had a laugh, tweaked a rule or two, sold a few T-shirts and moved on with life. Then came Patrick Thoresen's interference with Cristobal Huet in Game 7 between the Flyers and the Capitals (video); a call whose interpretation seemed to vary from a similar call involving the Caps earlier this season. And then last night in Dallas, we reached new heights of utter folly: Holmstrom's reputation and his backside conspire to produce one hell of a phantom call:

(Look, even though we have our knives out here, we can still see the hilarity in this Holmstrom situation. The NHL has basically ruled that Homer's Kim Kardashian-sized rump shaker can interfere with a goalie even if his skates are outside the crease and his ass isn't touching another player. It's like it has its own gravity, like vintage J-Lo. If the Stars actually extend this thing to a Game 6, we want to see No. 96 "Hugh Jass" jerseys. We want someone to throw a toy donkey on the ice if he takes a penalty. We want to hear the first few lines of "Baby Got Back" over the speakers every single time Holmstrom touches the puck, or someone at the arena loses their job.)

Mitch Albom of the Detroit Free Press called this no-goal "robbery," but that's minimizing it: This is but one image in a larger portrait of incompetence by the officials in these Stanley Cup Playoffs. And there may be no way to remedy it.

Mike Heika of the Dallas Morning News published the NHL's rule for goalie interference, and makes the rather easy case that if Datsyuk's goal wasn't counted, neither should the goal scored by Loui Eriksson moments later. But this is asking for consistency, which is an abstract concept in this postseason. Asking an NHL referee for uniformity in their penalty calls is like asking Steve Downie not to turn the puck over to the Penguins.

The numbers don't lie: The decrease in garden-variety penalties in the later stages of playoff games suggests a conscious effort to "let the players decide the game," which is Don Cherry-esque way code for "we'll call a hook in the first period but not in the third." There's subjectivity, and then there's a conscious partiality for running the game via some sort of predetermined storyline.

Most disgracefully, the officials in these playoffs have allowed themselves to be worked by coaches and players, through their media surrogates, in nearly every round. Remember the Stop Sidney From Diving campaign? That was pedestrian compared to the Stop Holmstrom From Screening swift-boating, which earned its first major victory last night.

George James Malik has a great review of different reactions to the Holmstrom "interference." So how do you remedy such abject failure by the League's arbiters of justice? Heika's suggestion is to grin and bear it:

The NHL isn't the only league that uses the "make-up" call. It's a tool refs feel can cover for mistakes and can keep things fair. But the NHL probably corners the market on "balanced" officiating, as refs will typically even out power play opportunities, as well as bad calls.

Marty Turco pretty much said that the Holmstrom call in Game 4 was a make-up for the lack of a call in Game 1 when Holmstrom was in Turco's lap and scored a goal. "Between the one in the first game that was allowed, and the one tonight ... probably trade the two, and the series would be different," Turco said.

Bob McKenzie of TSN raised the idea of using replay to figure out these goalie interference messes:

Contact with a goaltender is not under the criteria for a review; however if you are going to use video review to decide something as subjective as a goal being scored with a high stick, than this should be a no-brainer. If a player is standing in front of the net it is much more clear-cut from the overhead view to see if there was contact or not with the goaltender. The NHL either needs to include interference in the criteria of goal review or get rid of the review of goals scored with a high stick.

Wait, we're going after the League for the "subjective" review of goals scored off a high stick, but we're not going to mention those three dirty words: "Distinct kicking motion?"

Additional replay isn't the answer; because as popular as the NFL is, hockey simply can't afford to become the kind of disjointed, stuttering product we see on Sunday afternoons. They'd have to set up a puckhead depression hotline.

And besides: NHL replay officials always get it right, don't they?

The answer is for these officials stop enforcing the game's rather simple rules with a complicated formula of rewards, punishments, "make-ups" and decisions grounded in résumé rather than reality.

It's really messing with our playoff buzz, man.

The New York Rangers and Boston Bruins were rumored to have been the choices for Winter Classic II, which would have offered all kinds of Yankees/Red Sox angsty goodness. The Chicago Blackhawks are on record as wanting a Classic at either Wrigley or Soldier Field. But Bettman said he recently received a letter from  Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell (D-Clinton), who is lobbying for a Pittsburgh Penguins/Philadelphia Flyers game at Penn State's football stadium.

If this is indeed the end of the NHL's flirtation with closing out the House that Ruth Built, that sound you just heard was thousands of baseball nerds throwing their 1988 Topps Traded sets into the air like celebratory confetti, before burying their faces back into today's box scores to calculate the Peripheral ERA of the Mets' bullpen. Jerks.

H/T E-Mac at FanHouse.

But if there's one thing we love about BGL, it's that his actions speak louder than words. So consider yourself redeemed, good sir, for this mocking celebration against the glass following the Penguins' Game 3 victory. Notice Jarkko Ruutu following BGL's lead with a little leap; even Evgeni Malkin gets into the smack talk by asking the Flyers fans, "How does it feel, baby?"

We've professed our love for the Penguins' fourth line, and Laraque is a big reason for our amorous feelings. How can you not dig a player who tells the media he got in shape because, back in 2007, he was "a whale" who "couldn't move." Two-hundred and fifty-five pounds of self-deprecation. Who knew?

Dallas played its role last night in attempting to rescue these conference finals from the depths of suck. Tonight it's the Philadelphia Flyers' turn to either extend their series against the Pittsburgh Penguins or put up the kind of hellacious fight the Stars did in their potential elimination game. Phil Sheridan of the Philadelphia Inquirer used 800 words to say it; we'll use seven: Just don't go out like a bitch.

Everyone knows only two teams in NHL history have rallied from being down 3-goose, but the Flyers' own history in elimination Game 4's doesn't inspire much confidence either: They're 0-5, having been outscored 20-7. But that's all ancient history; and by that we mean Jim Dowd was the only player on the roster alive the first time the Flyers were swept.

If Philly's going to mount this miracle comeback, changes had to be made. So Coach John Stevens seemingly tossed every name into an orange and black hat and may have decided the following: Mike Richards centering Danny Briere and Scott Hartnell, for the first time since February; R.J. Umberger centering for Vinny Prospal and Joffrey Lupul; and, in a no-brainer, Patrick Thoresen will move in for Steve Downie ("no-brainer" in the sense that the move involves Steve Downie). There's also a chance Braydon Coburn might return for Game 4, which would certainly help with that whole stopping goals from happening thing.

We don't want this series to end quite yet, because the blogosphere smack-talk and priceless video material have just too entertaining. But Evgeni Malkin -- he of the rather distracting amount of leg above - doesn't believe the Flyers can come back to win. As he told Natalia Bragilevskaya of Sovetsky Sport, with translation by our friend Dmitry Chesnokov, Malkin thinks the Penguins' time is now:

Do you think the next game against the Flyers will be the last in this series?

"I think that it will be difficult to lose four games in a row after leading 3-0 in the series."

It happened twice in the history of the league.

"I am hoping very much that this won't happen again!" (Malkin is laughing.)

If two years ago you were told that you would be playing in the Stanley Cup final, would you believe it?

"If I were told before I played my first game in the NHL? Probably not. Although anything can happen in life. But if I were told about this a year ago, then I would believe it. Our team is very young and talented. We gained a lot of experience, matured... Everything is in our hands."

The demise of John Tortorella's team was indeed unfortunate. But it wasn't embarrassing. No, embarrassing is if one of the Team USA defensemen had tried to send the puck around boards with a slap shot, only to accidently put it behind his goalie in the process. Embarrassment, thy name is Philippe Furrer of Team Switzerland:

Wow, who is that young-Diane Sawyer-meets-Maura-Tierney babe on the Swiss sports program? Anyhoo, Furrer is a 22-year-old defenseman who played 43 games for SC Bern in the Nationalliga A league last season. We're sure that means something to somebody, but to us Furrer is now the guy who just made Nicklas Backstrom look lethargic by comparison.

This was actually the second Swiss own-goal in their 6-0 loss to Russia, who plays Finland in the semifinals without the services of Ilya Kovalchuk. Swiss defenseman Raphael Diaz pushed the puck into his own net in attempt to get goalie Martin Gerber to freeze it, giving Maxim Afinogenov a goal. Danis Zaripov got credit for Furrer's emphatic boner, which is also incidentally a great name for Euro techno band. Said crusty veteran Marc Reichert: "Maybe we were trying too much." That's quite a neutral assessment from Team Switzerland.

No. 1 star: Marty Turco, Dallas Stars

Both goaltenders played stellar games, but Turco's the reason why the Stars still have a heartbeat in this series. His 33 saves were at times acrobatic, at times miraculous; he was better than just steady, even though that's where the bar was set after the Red Wings had seemingly conquered his mind in the first three games of the conference finals. Obviously, Turco's effort can't be divorced from the phantom goaltender interference call on Tomas Holmstrom in the second period that kept Detroit off the board and Dallas' spirits up. Turco and Coach Dave Tippett have been keeping the Wings' crease infringement in the news since Game 1, allowing media surrogates to go as far as to jokingly suggest a "Tomas Holmstrom Rule" be put in place that reviews every goal scored with the Detroit forward. Their subtle complaining paid dividends in Game 4, on an absolute joke of a botched call by referee Kelly Sutherland. But don't let that distract you from Turco's brilliant last stand: This was redemption for a player many started to assume couldn't beat Detroit on his best day.

No. 2 star: Mike Modano, Dallas Stars

Brenden Morrow's insurance goal may have been more important, but Modano's tally at 5:35 of the third period broke a 1-1 tie and was just a vintage play: Taking Sergei Zubov's pass from the left wing and scoring from the slot on the power play, where Dallas had struggled mightily this series (and in the first period, where the Stars went 0-for-3). It spoke volumes about Modano's offensive struggles that he was practically uncovered in the slot, but those struggles came before he did something drastic prior to last night: A little emergency man-scaping. Playoff beards are grown for luck; could trimming down one's facial hair actually reverse bad hockey karma?

No. 3 star: Chris Osgood, Detroit Red Wings

Only 19 saves for Osgood, who saw his nine-game winning streak end. But the Red Wings' resident comedian was outstanding again, playing through the frustration of Loui Eriksson's controversial in-the-crease goal in the second period -- minutes after Datsyuk's was waived off -- to put Dallas up 1-0. Osgood's sarcastic assessment of goalie interference calls in this postseason: "I don't know if there's a force field around the crease or how it works ... I'm not quite sure about the logic or interpretation."

Major penalty: Goaltender interference calls in the 2008 Stanley Cup Playoffs have gone from sublime to ridiculous to absolute embarrassing. Tonight's interference call against Holmstrom was, as Mike Babcock said, one based on reputation more than reality. And one in which the justification was that, in Babcock's words, Holmstrom's "butt was in the blue." It's a shame that a great Dallas effort will be overshadowed by discussion about Homer's rump for the next two days.

Minor penalty: Gary Bettman met the press today, and answered a few questions about a potential Pittsburgh Penguins/Detroit Red Wings Stanley Cup Final. "You know, it's not about big markets or small markets. It's not about dominant teams or not," he said. "It's about the actual competition and how good the games are, how good the series turn out.  That's what I think is the most important for fans." Mr. Commissioner, we've had our disagreements over the years, so let's not run away from common ground: Your fans will take Pittsburgh/Detroit over Ottawa/Nashville any day of the week, week of the year or year of the century.

Conn Smythe watch (Based on playoff performance to date and likelihood of deep playoff run.)

1. Henrik Zetterberg, Detroit Red Wings
2. Evgeni Malkin, Pittsburgh Penguins
3. Pavel Datsyuk, Detroit Red Wings
4. Chris Osgood, Detroit Red Wings
5. Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins
6. Johan Franzen, Detroit Red Wings
7. Marc-Andre Fleury, Pittsburgh Penguins
8. Marian Hossa, Pittsburgh Penguins
9. Tomas Holmstrom, Detroit Red Wings
10. Brenden Morrow, Dallas Stars

Sometimes, a competitor needs a push from the new kid in town to recapture his mojo. Clearly, Don Cherry's arrival on SportsCenter has sent ESPN's Barry Melrose burrowing through his closet to find something that overwhelms even the most blinding Grapes ensemble.

Cherry has already unleashed a pink floral monstrosity that looked like rejected wardrobe for Nathan Lane in "The Birdcage." Tonight, The Mullet broke down Game 4 between the Wings and Stars in this glorious suit, looking very much like a pimp at Easter Sunday mass. "It's not purple, it's lavender," Melrose proclaimed on ESPN.

An impressive effort indeed, as we haven't really seen much of this classic since 2006. Unfortunately for The Mullet, Cherry's already conquered the lavender suit competition on Hockey Night in Canada. Puck's back in your side of the rink, Barry. Can't wait to see the next fashion disaster; although if you're thinking about wearing some sort of navy blue acid trip, Cherry's got you there, too.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007. Dominik Hasek and the Detroit Red Wings defeat the defending Stanley Cup champion Ducks, 3-2. Yours truly, having traveled back in time through some fanciful wizard's spell or nuclear-powered DeLorean, tells you that the Wings will be one win away from the Stanley Cup Finals on Wednesday, May 14, 2008. But that Hasek guy? Yeah, he'll have played four playoff games and have an .888 save percentage. That Chris Osgood fella? Yeah, he'll be 9-0 with a 1.47 GAA and a .935 save percentage. What, pray tell, is your reaction?

Mine would be utter, complete, unadulterated disbelief. That's how unlikely Osgood's performance has been. Perhaps it's Detroit's total team effort or the media's Mule obsession, but Osgood is the Wings' most underappreciated story in this incredible run. Romig has him fourth in the Conn Smythe race, and it's probably where he belongs in comparison to the other candidates; but jeez, what does 9-0 in the playoffs get you these days?

Even if Osgood doesn't get the Conn Smythe, he's already got one title secured: The Red Wings' last comic standing. At the end of a great piece today in the Detroit Free Press by Helene St. James about Jiri Hudler, Osgood's knack for handing out nicknames to his teammates in the locker room came up:

"Chris Chelios," he said, "is George Hamilton. Henrik Zetterberg is Fabio. Johan Franzen is Shrek. Kris Draper is Chuck Norris. Dallas Drake is George Burns."

Chelios' perma-tan drew the comparison to well-tanned actor Hamilton, and Zetterberg's blonde locks made Osgood think of Fabio, a cover boy for trashy romances and the former spokesman for "I can't believe it's not butter" margarine.

Franzen's 6-3 frame is why he's called Shrek, and Osgood said Draper's toughness and facial features make him a replica of Norris, the famous Hollywood tough guy. Osgood loves to rile Drake, 39, about being old and forgetful, hence the affinity to Burns, who died at age 100 and whose body of work included the lead role in the movie "Oh, God!"

Then there is Hudler. When the movie "Happy Feet" -- telling the tale of the penguin Mumble -- came out, Osgood took great joy in referring to Hudler as a penguin. Mostly, though, Osgood sees Hudler -- generously listed as 5-feet-10 -- as the diminutive character from the Austin Powers movies.

"Huds," Osgood said, "is Mini-Me."

Osgood's a solid guy on a great run. It'll be fun to see if it continues.

Entering what could be their final game of the season, the Dallas Stars aren't showing even an ounce of that attitude. As Chuck Carlton of the Dallas Stars Blog reports, they're living in cliché-ville:

They talked about taking it shift by shift, period by period, etc. They used cliches and then acknowledged they were using cliches. If anything, why not try the San Jose Sharks' approach? Forget the whole focus-on-the-moment approach.

The Sharks went into total make-history mode, not all of them but enough to change the dynamic. They even said all the pressure was on the Stars, not them. In a small way, it was genius. It worked for two games and who knows what would have happened had the Sharks scored during overtime in Game 6.

Granted, there's been absolutely nothing in this series that would inspired confidence in a Dallas comeback. But it's a little depressing to hear the Stars' words match the pouty, defeatist attitude they exhibited on the ice during Game 3 against the Detroit Red Wings. Shucks, we had such high hopes for this series. Our boys at the KB might be right: These are, like, the worst conference finals ever.

So what's on tap for Round 2, boys? "It's going to be real gritty game, more like an NHL-style game," USA Hockey assistant executive director Jim Johannson told Kevin Allen of USA Today, and he's right: Just like most NHL games, the majority of American sports fans won't be able to see the rematch on television. More to the point, Team USA needs to continue to get strong offensive contributions from players like Brandon Dubinsky and Patrick Kane; and while they should play a typically gritty game against Finland, they need to stay the hell out of the penalty box, where they sat for 14 minutes in their win over Norway.

The New York Times Slap Shot blog promises a live-blog of tonight's game, which is awfully nice of them. Meanwhile, some of the most interesting reporting about the tournament is coming from, of all places, a blog by Adam Burish of the Chicago Blackhawks. Today's edition discusses Team USA's off-day activities, starring Phil Kessel, Peter Mueller, Patrick O'Sullivan, Backes and Matt Greene:

Before the Finland game, the last time I wrote, we had a full day off away from the rink.  Some guys took the opportunity to go fishing.  For some, it didn't go as planned.  Kessel got pretty sea sick as he spent most of the time leaning over the end of the boat, so guys were joking with him about that the past couple days, and Mueller didn't fare so well at sea either.  O'Sullivan and Backes came back with a pretty good tan, and I would say Greene did too but he had a bit more of a lobster red shade to him, ha! Over all they had a great experience catching a ton of cod.

Wonder if Burish and Backes ever get around to discussing the more painful moments of their relationship in the NHL (video)?

It's all very squirmtastic; and it usually looks something like this, filmed after Max Talbot's goal for the Pittsburgh Penguins in Game 2:

If there's anything we've learned about Penguins fans as their franchise has risen from the ashes, it's that they're some of the most smartly sarcastic, ingeniously droll and painfully hilarious puckheads around. So it was no surprise when we discovered that a couple of Pens fans (including one in a ConkBlock T-shirt) responded to the video above ... with their own moment-by-moment pantomime of the Philadelphia Flyers fans' public grief. (Beware a little NSFW language at the end.)

What an inspired bit of mockery. Could this start a new puckhead meme in which fans recreate the actions or webcam rants of other fans, like those many parodies of Chris Crocker's infamous "Leave Britney Alone!" tirade? Or is this just a fleeting YouTube moment like the reimagining of NHL front offices as Nazi war rooms?

With Eric Staal attending the funeral of his grandfather, Spezza will move up to the second line with Martin St. Louis and Derek Roy for Canada's quarterfinals game against Norway today (3:30 p.m. EST). Perhaps hitting the score sheet, instead of just quietly doing his damn job like he has the rest of the tournament, will allow Spezza to take his mind off the Senators fans wondering if his mental and physical softness necessitate his departure from Ottawa. As well as the ones who wonder why he can't be a "good solider" when he's playing in the NHL. Here's hoping this tournament doesn't go on for much longer, for the sake of Spezza's golf game.

Mitch Albom is no longer the most prominent MSM voice wondering about the attendance struggles for the Detroit Red Wings. Today, the Wall Street Journal picks up the story in "What Happened to Hockeytown?"; an in-depth and balanced look at the causes and effects of the empty seats at the Joe, where "blocks of four tickets could be purchased online three hours before Game 2" and scalpers were looking to dump tix for less than face value. The first factor is the most obvious one: Our booming war-time economy.

The tepid turnout is a reflection of both Michigan's sagging economy and the tough battle the NHL faces for fans. The Detroit area has been hit hard in the past few years as the Big Three auto makers and their suppliers slashed tens of thousands of jobs. The region ranks near the top in home foreclosures, too. Detroit's entertainment dollar is "severely stretched," says Comerica Bank chief economist Dana Johnson.

As the Journal points out, the Red Wings have tried to be proactive in marketing to fans after ignoring this issue for several seasons. Detroit hired Steve Violetta from Nashville as a marketing exec, and he responded by adding promotions and slashing prices for tickets and concessions. It's helped, but it hasn't stopped the Red Wings' attendance problems from becoming a major storyline for the playoffs.

The article goes on to indentify the "too much of a good thing" factor, in which so much success creates fan "malaise" that deadens the arena and keeps fans away. (As a Devils fan, I've always felt there's some truth to this.) A touchier subject is the fact that his collection of Red Wings has a much more pronounced international flavor than previous championship teams:

Others suggest that Detroit hockey fans need to form bonds with the new players, often Europeans, who dominate the roster. Steve Yzerman, the team's longtime face, retired in 2006. Other well-known names like Brendan Shanahan now play in other cities. The stands are still flooded with fans wearing jerseys with the names of Mr. Yzerman and Mr. Shanahan on their backs.

Fans do appear to be warming to the new generation of Red Wings. Center Johan Franzen, for instance, is on a record-setting scoring pace in the playoffs. Veteran Kris Draper insists that Mr. Franzen, nicknamed "The Mule" for his gritty play, is custom-made for Detroit's blue-collar ethic. Others, including center Henrik Zetterberg, are slowly gaining recognition after spending years playing in Mr. Yzerman's shadow.

Don Cherry's "it's a redneck town" comments about Detroit were an off-shoot of this argument, leading Montreal Gazette columnist Pat Hickey to fire back with an "it's the economy, stupid" jab at Cherry: "Well Don, anyone who knows anything about what's happening in Detroit knows that it is the economy and the next time you go on a rant, you should check your facts."

All of these reasons have varying degrees of validity. Yet the bottom line is that the best team in the NHL is struggling to sell out conference championship home games. That's embarrassing, and in the eyes of Battle of Western Canada, it's a rather disturbing harbinger of things to come: "If Detroit can not sell tickets now, in the third round of the playoffs when their team is looking like the best, then how are they going to sell tickets in a few years when they slip to worst in the league?"

The Barry Gibb talk show and that Christmas song with Horatio Sanz (video)? Funny. The rest of his "SNL" career, flubbing lines and giggling during sketches as the bastard hybrid of Adam Sandler and Mike Myers? Not so funny. "Taxi" with Queen Latifah? Did you just throw up a little in your mouth, too?

There are a lot of people who find Fallon really annoying, which is understandable. But one of our rules here is that we bestow the benefit of the doubt on anyone who may be a member of our international puckhead family. And Jimmy Fallon might just be a hockey fan.

The proof: He was photographed attending a Chicago Blackhawks/Nashville Predators game earlier this season, chatting it up with Vince Gill and wearing a Preds hat; although he was also accused by Preds fans of leaving the game early. Fallon has also hung out with Brendan Shanahan and Sean Avery of the New York Rangers, prompting Hugging Harold Reynolds to (correctly, in the Rangers' case) identify the existence of a strange "Fallon Curse" in professional sports. 

But perhaps the greatest evidence he's really a dedicated, if undetected, puckhead? He made a terrible baseball movie. Sabotage, thy name is Fallon!

There's always been a certain amount of Downie protectionism from the MSM and the blogosphere in Philadelphia. They've excused his rather limited skills and rather large mistakes because he's young (21) and because h