Shutdown Corner - NFL

Shutdown Corner

Tue Jun 09, 2009 6:04 pm EDT

Tom Brady is good at many things ... kayaking isn't one of them

By Chris Chase

Oh, Tom Brady(notes). You've got it all: Millions of dollars, a supermodel wife, three Super Bowl rings, a cleft chin, omnipresent stubble, the ability to hit 280 yards off the tee and, to cap it off, the adoration of men, women and goats worldwide. But the one thing you don't have, Tom Brady, is the ability to kayak.

This weekend Brady and wife Gisele Bundchen rented kayaks for a leisurely jaunt on the Charles River. It probably looked a lot like a Monet painting, until Brady flipped over his kayak, fell into the river and had to be rescued by the launch guy at the dock. (If only I knew how to kayak, I could take pride in the fact that I'm better than Tom Brady at something. Alas, I'd probably have fallen out in half the time that Brady did. And the dude wouldn't have bothered to rescue me.)

Witnesses said the incident was more embarrassing than anything, which, having met a few launch guys who work at kayak docks, is probably true. They're great people, of course, but there are pretty strong odds that the guy who rescued Tom Brady had a crazy beard, smelled of patchouli oil and had probably spent the previous weekend seeing Phish at Fenway. In other words, it could have been Matt Light. 

Considering that the paparazzi gets pictures of Brady going grocery shopping, it's rather disappointing that nobody got video of the Golden Boy going all 'America's Funniest Home Videos' on the Charles. For our own amusement, we're imagining it looked exactly like this. 

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402 Comments

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  1. footballer327
    1. Posted by footballer327 Tue Jun 09, 2009 6:36 pm EDT

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    lol.
  2. YGM
    2. Posted by YGM Tue Jun 09, 2009 6:54 pm EDT

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    tom brady is awesome so what if he can't kayak 2 feet, he can throw a football 200 feet
  3. YGM
    3. Posted by YGM Tue Jun 09, 2009 6:54 pm EDT

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    go patriots
  4. gsamd60
    4. Posted by gsamd60 Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:07 pm EDT

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    That is a crude statement about Tom Brady breaking his neck, but if that was to happen he would still out play Green Bay's starting quarterback. Yes, Brady would even out play your legend Bret Favra who might be coming back to play for your nemesis Vikings. Karma baby, that is all I got to say.
  5. gsamd60
    5. Posted by gsamd60 Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:10 pm EDT

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    Oh, one more thing,
    Go Patriots.
  6. Vy S
    6. Posted by Vy S Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:29 pm EDT

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    Hey what's wrong about smelling like patchouli oil?
  7. sully
    7. Posted by sully Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:29 pm EDT

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    el diablo thank u for sharing your unintelligent and low life response, you are awarded no points and may god have mercy on your pathethic soul. I have to agree with gsamd60. Tom Brady with a broken neck is still more valuable than Aarron Rodgers, and the guy that he replaced by default in your little cow town for that matter.
  8. kim e k
    8. Posted by kim e k Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:50 pm EDT

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    el diablo...
    be careful what you wish for..as it will come TO YOU!!!
    not our star QB!!
  9. bt1220
    9. Posted by bt1220 Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:50 pm EDT

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    Number 4 this year.
  10. person
    10. Posted by person Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:52 pm EDT

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    lolololollolololololololololololol
  11. cool hand luke
    11. Posted by cool hand luke Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:53 pm EDT

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    who cares --really just who freaking cares
  12. nick s
    12. Posted by nick s Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:54 pm EDT

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    How is fewest td's/int ratio a good thing? And yes, while el diablo is a moron, I don't think Brady has 3 MVP's, and I don't think Favre has ever missed a game in his career, much less an entire season (less a couple of plays).
  13. Elizabeth U
    13. Posted by Elizabeth U Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:55 pm EDT

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    really diablo? wow
  14. QT-Grammy
    14. Posted by QT-Grammy Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:55 pm EDT

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    el Diablo - why would you say something like that! It doesn't matter if you like the guy or not why would you wish for somebody to be hurt in such a devastating way. Think of his family you moron!!!
  15. Tube
    15. Posted by Tube Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:55 pm EDT

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    Cheaters get what is coming to them
  16. Scott H
    16. Posted by Scott H Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:55 pm EDT

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    You kids shouldn't play so rough. Somebody's gonna start cryin'.
  17. Bux
    17. Posted by Bux Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:55 pm EDT

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    el diablo clearly enjoys the finer things in life, most notably anything that walks on all fours - goats, sheep, cows, what else would you expect from a homey whos favorite movie is DELIVERANCE - he even looks like warren beatty, my bets is that he sqeals like him too!
  18. jonathan d
    18. Posted by jonathan d Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:56 pm EDT

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    That comment about breaking his neck is just wrong. I am New York born and raised and hate every sports team that comes from the Boston area. I hate Tom Brady but even I wouldnt wish that on him. I would have pulled him out of the water, reminded him of the Giants Super Bowl win, screwed his wife then throw him back in.
  19. davidkwon0503
    19. Posted by davidkwon0503 Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:56 pm EDT

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    tom brady is a awesome quarterback he is way better then aaaron rodgers even when he is paralized
    Go Patriots!
  20. Milton
    20. Posted by Milton Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:56 pm EDT

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    Go pats!
  21. glen t
    21. Posted by glen t Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:56 pm EDT

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    Those who say they wish someone breaks their neck or drowns really show your maturity level - even if you're "just joking."
  22. skillz90210
    22. Posted by skillz90210 Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:58 pm EDT

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    Why Everyone Hatin???
    Go Patriots.
  23. Rob
    23. Posted by Rob Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:58 pm EDT

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    Packers play Patriots this year, don't think? I hope the Pats win. Screw you, Ted Thompson.
  24. gary m
    24. Posted by gary m Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:58 pm EDT

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    mac.... That was a stupid comment about Brady getting hurt. You sound like a Chargers fan. Go Pats 16-0 this fall baby. They are revamping after not making playoffs last year.
  25. Turf Burn
    25. Posted by Turf Burn Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:59 pm EDT

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    Brady won all his super bowls with the help of Belichecks video cameras. Brady is a product of a system and a really good line.

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Shutdown Corner is an NFL blog edited by Matthew J. Darnell. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

Contributors:
Chris Chase, Doug Farrar, Blair Johnson, Kevin Sullivan, Kerry Rhodes,

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