November 02, 2010
1.) Dallas Cowboys (1-6): A playoff team a year ago, the Cowboys have had nearly the perfect storm in terms of falls from grace. The most popular sports team with no real answer to the problem, star quarterback and heartthrob hurt during the season, entire fan base up in arms about the struggles, and to boot, the Super Bowl being played at their stadium this season, when everyone was penciling them in to be a part of the festivities. Also, when a team has my dad mumbling on the phone to me, "I just have never seen anything like it," you know it's bad. The Cowboys could end the season with two wins, and at this point, that might be a stretch.
2.) Minnesota Vikings (2-5): At least the Cowboys have the Brad Childress/Brett Favre(notes)/Randy Moss Show to thank for not making Dallas look like the only lost souls in the NFL in 2010. The Vikings have also had a list of things go bad, including a continued quarterback situation (because it isn't really a controversy) that is only made better because it includes one of the wishy-washiest players in the history of sports, who, to boot, is involved in a sex scandal with a girl that was made famous because she was caught on the sidelines of a Florida State game with, umm, a well-fitted shirt. Minnesota was 12-4 last season, making it all the way to the NFC Championship game, but continues to fire bullets into their own shoes whenever possible.
[Related: Randy Moss and the Vikings back in limbo]
3.) Cincinnati Bengals (2-5): Have you ever gone to a high school reunion, and ran into that "it girl" from your younger years that just doesn't look as good as she used to look, but you still hold her extremely high in your mind because she was the "one you could never touch"? I feel like that's the Cincinnati Bengals, a team we keep thinking is supposed to be good even though none of their pieces really work anymore. Carson Palmer(notes) isn't even a top-15 quarterback anymore. Both "star" receivers can't do much to change the momentum of a game. The defense is giving up over 23 points per game. We've just got to the point with Cincinnati where we need to realize who they are (not very good) and stop expecting them to be who they aren't (2005 Bengals).
4.) San Francisco 49ers (2-6): Everyone's favorite sleeper this season, the 49ers define one of the easiest, but most forgotten, trends going on in the NFL; if you have no quarterback, you can't be consistent. It's OK, though. They're 1-0 in games played outside the United States, and everyone in San Fran will be so loopy from the Giants winning the World Series that they will hardly remember a football team even plays on Sundays for the next four months.
5.) Denver Broncos (2-6): A little high here for some because nobody thought the Broncos would be that good this season, but they did start the season 2-2 before dropping four straight, with the last two coming at the hands of the Raiders and 49ers. One of my favorite sneaky stats of this season? Brady Quinn(notes) makes more per salary year than Kyle Orton(notes).
6.) Carolina Panthers (1-6): In their six losses this season, the Panthers have failed to score more than 10 points in four of them, which makes people like myself who own DeAngelo Williams(notes) in a fantasy league jump for joy. Here is their current depth chart at quarterback: Matt Moore(notes), Jimmy Clausen(notes) and Tony Pike(notes). If at any time, one of those guys came trotting out to play for your football team, you'd immediately turn off the TV and go back to Sunday chores.
(Also, a mini-tangent. I live in the greater Phoenix area, and have for the last two seasons. When the Cardinals were thinking of building a new stadium, they had two options; one in the middle of the city, where parts like Mesa/Tempe/Scottsdale collide, and one in a place called Glendale, where only scorpions and Joe Arpaio have ever ventured. What did they pick? Glendale. Now, to "enjoy" a Cardinals game with friends, you either get someone to DD or spend $200 on a cab. Thanks for looking out for your true fans, Arizona!)
8.) San Diego Chargers (3-5): Moved quickly down the list with a big win last week against the Titans, but you still have to look at the whole of the Chargers season as a disappointment. They've lost to the Chiefs, Seahawks, Raiders and Rams, not exactly a list of teams that makes you run for the hills. While that win jumped them to 3-5, it still has San Diego looking up in its division at the Raiders and Chiefs, with two of its next three at Houston and Indianapolis.
[Rewind: Best and worst of 2010 NFL draft]
9.) Washington Redskins (4-4): I'll just say this about the Redskins: If Mike Shanahan wasn't Mike Shanahan, and just some regular coach like Josh McDaniels, he would be getting the most flak of anyone in the league. There really isn't anything like pissing off two of your highest profile players to prove to people "you're boss." It just seems like when you're 58 years old, maybe taking the high road on a few of these spats with players could end up being beneficial to your team in the long run, but who am I to talk, I haven't won two Super Bowl rings 12 years ago!
10.) Buffalo Bills (0-7): Hey, if you haven't won a game this season, you're going to be on this list, even if nobody thought you'd be any good. I was really hoping for a tie in that Kansas City game last week in case the Bills went winless, they could forever be known as the 0-15-1 team.
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