Shutdown Corner - NFL

1. Mark Sanchez(notes), Quarterback, New York Jets. Being a rookie quarterback has to be a lot like playing "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!" for the first time. You open up the game, and everything's fun and easy, and you're thinking, "Hey, I'll slap Glass Joe around all day long!" You feel pretty good about yourself. Then Von Kaiser and Piston Honda aren't so bad, but then Don Flamenco starts doing some wild stuff, and you think, "Alright, I'm going to have to take a second and figure this out." Eventually, I'm sure that Mark Sanchez will be fighting Mike Tyson for the title, but right now, he's trying to figure out Don Flamenco. He threw five picks yesterday and wasted a 210-yard game from Thomas Jones(notes).

2. Matt Forte(notes), Running Back, Chicago Bears. Forte carried the ball 15 times last night and gained a total of 23 yards. This came against the Atlanta Falcons, currently ranked 23rd against the run in the NFL, giving up 4.7 yards per carry. Sadly, there's even more bad news for Forte. In the third quarter, at the Atlanta 1-yard-line, he fumbled on consecutive plays, with the Falcons recovering the second one. Not a pretty evening.

3. Jason McCourty(notes) and Ryan Mouton(notes), Cornerbacks, Tennessee Titans. One thing that's getting lost in Tom Brady's(notes) brilliance yesterday is that it came against a UFL-like secondary. Not to take anything away from Brady, but the Titans' two starting corners, as well as their nickel back, were all out Sunday. These two rookies started at corner, and, as you might expect, Randy Moss(notes) and Wes Welker(notes) had their way with them. I'm not saying every NFL quarterback would've thrown down the beating that Brady did yesterday, but most NFL quarterbacks would've beaten them up pretty badly.

4. Every Offensive Player, Seattle Seahawks. Matt Hasselbeck(notes) went 10-for-29 on the day, the Seahawks rushed for 14 yards as a team, and they gave up five sacks. Their best offensive play of the day, and the only way they got into field-goal range, was with a fake punt.

5. Donovan McNabb(notes), Quarterback, Philadelphia Eagles. If Andy Reid is jealous, he can feel free to share this award with McNabb, because there's no way McNabb should've been throwing the ball 46 times against the Raiders. Their run defense was among the worst in the league, and the Eagles came in throwing the ball like it was a backyard 2-on-2 game. The fact that McNabb completed only 22 of the 46, despite Nnamdi Asomugha(notes) missing most of the game, though, is on McNabb.

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64 Comments

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  1. Tristan
    1. Posted by Tristan Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:25 pm EDT

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    Forte's fumbles were bad, but the problem in Chicago is the offensive line. Forte was met in the backfield on at least half of his carries. Between the critical false starts and poor run blocking, it's the Bears O-Line that should be on this list.
  2. Robert C
    2. Posted by Robert C Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:30 pm EDT

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    Did Andy Reid bet on the Raiders? Does he need bail money again for one of his kids?
    OK, low blow, I know. But I just can't comprehend how the Eagles could lay that big of an egg and totally have the wrong game plan. Of course they should be able to beat the Raiders with a high school game plan...and that makes it that much more unbelievable.
  3. sam spade
    3. Posted by sam spade Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:31 pm EDT

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    Can Sanchez play in the cold? Stay tuned. He's from SoCal and looked like the cold destroyed him. Please tell him that it hasn't gotten cold yet. The Meadowlands are famous for swirling winds. I hope I'm wrong but this looks real bad.
  4. Mr. A-Jo
    4. Posted by Mr. A-Jo Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:35 pm EDT

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    Sure our (Seahawks) offense was horrible, but those of you living outside of the NFC West have no idea who much of a beast Larry Fitzgerald is.
  5. Feng Shweez
    5. Posted by Feng Shweez Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:45 pm EDT

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    I think Frank Walker, CB for the Baltimore Ravens belongs on this list...
  6. alex m
    6. Posted by alex m Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:48 pm EDT

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    That's what you get when you put your rookie QB on a pedestal. He then has to sit on his gatorade throne with a look of dismay, as if, well everybody was telling me I was so great but yet I am no better than any other rookie QB at the moment.
  7. bfrank27
    7. Posted by bfrank27 Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:49 pm EDT

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    Correct me if I am wrong, but a fake punt is still a special teams play.
  8. Steve
    8. Posted by Steve Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:52 pm EDT

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    The Mark Sanchez - Mike Tyson's Punch Out analogy is one for the record books. Incredible.
  9. A.C.
    9. Posted by A.C. Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:53 pm EDT

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    Us Niner fans do, and we stopped him, Nate Clamens to be precise. Go cry somewhere else....
  10. IBG
    10. Posted by IBG Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:54 pm EDT

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    McNabbs being 22 for 46 had nothing to with being hurried or near sacked on almost every play, nope no relation at all. Being able to smell Seymour's breath on every play will actually help you throw the ball on target.
  11. Jason A
    11. Posted by Jason A Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:11 pm EDT

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    Seriously you cant figure out Don Flamenco LOL!!!!! If you cant get to Soda Pop you have problems ha ha
  12. J-Vas
    12. Posted by J-Vas Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:15 pm EDT

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    Crap....thats means that my Texans are "Glass Joe"
    At least we are at 500, I guess it could be worse
  13. Isaac M
    13. Posted by Isaac M Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:17 pm EDT

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    I think Kerry Collins should be on this list. I mean, -7 yards? But I guess there's just not enough room in this hall of fail.
  14. David D
    14. Posted by David D Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:21 pm EDT

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    Thanks Post#9, I was hoping I wasn't the only one who threw up in my mouth from that dumb-a$$ comment from Post#4. I am not a Cardinals fan but I do currently live in Arizona so I do know who Fitzgerald is and how awesome he is, but I did not know he was playing on defense now. The Cards pass defense sucks and the pathetic Seahawks could do nothing against them. Sad!!
  15. Sean M
    15. Posted by Sean M Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:45 pm EDT

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    wow some how Jamarcus missed the list 2 weeks in a row amazing simply amazing
  16. Joel
    16. Posted by Joel Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:07 pm EDT

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    Well, I'd sure like to have Thomas Jones back right now. With no running game, it will be difficult to get anywhere this year in Chicago.
  17. dlark10
    17. Posted by dlark10 Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:08 pm EDT

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    Jets stink
  18. Loco
    18. Posted by Loco Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:16 pm EDT

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    I would crown the seahawks offense most incapable, pathetic bunch of millionaires to ever embarrass themselves week after week with occasional blowouts against even more pathetic teams (Jaguar, Rams). Really though, the Seattle SadSacks should get the michael vick treatment with some electro-shock batons and a shallow, watery grave. If the O-line was a bunch of bull sleds there would have been more production.
  19. mass pinoy
    19. Posted by mass pinoy Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:24 pm EDT

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    Saints and Fins were Don Flamenco and King Hippo. Bills DBs were Great Tiger, each of them Mirage Dancing their way for 5 picks and making Sanchez's head spin- TKO!!!
  20. pedro
    20. Posted by pedro Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:24 pm EDT

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    mark sanchez sucks
  21. PIT BULL VICIOUS
    21. Posted by PIT BULL VICIOUS Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:36 pm EDT

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    Philly just got socked in the mouth and got their jaw broken. RAIDER NATION.
  22. gaborik10m
    22. Posted by gaborik10m Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:45 pm EDT

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    Sean M, Jamarcus Suckell is a given every weak. It can either be "Sundays' four least valuable players and Jamarcus Suckell" or "Sunday's five least valuable players" and everybody just knows Suckell was himself.
  23. David W
    23. Posted by David W Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:52 pm EDT

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    normally your jokes are sub-par, at best, but great Punch out reference. I never understood I point you were trying to make better.
  24. stanley g
    24. Posted by stanley g Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:05 pm EDT

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    How can a Qb not have played in the cold weather...that is absurd and is nothing but an excuse for his being bad a showing he is still a rookie.
  25. Yeagle
    25. Posted by Yeagle Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:14 pm EDT

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    these guys laugh all the way to the bank. they don't care what anyone thinks. next week if they do awesome people will be riding their jocks again.

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