Review: The 11 Greatest Mustaches in NFL History

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Shutdown Corner is giddy to present its list of the 11 greatest mustaches in NFL history. There are no standards for judging, such as length, thickness, or ability to soak up chicken noodle soup. Each mustache is judged individually on its own merits and the courage displayed by the man who decided to grow it. Again, this list was made at my own fanciful whim.

When people talk about the great mustaches in sports, baseball is the sport most often referenced. And rightfully so, as Goose Gossage, Al Hrabosky, and Rollie Fingers are the kings. But the NFL has their own arsenal of formidable lip moss, too.

After the jump, the full list.

Honorable Mentions:

11.	First, I like the fact that it's bespeckled with a healthy dose of gray, and that he hasn't given in to the Just For Men marketing machine. He doesn't buy that his "gray facial hair has put him in a rocking chair" or that his "'stache is trash." And good for him. Gray mustaches can look very dignified, I don't care what Keith Hernandez says. More...
10.	Most guys with mustaches walk around with the air of superiority that their lip fur affords them, and rightfully so. And it's Welker's sincere pride in his 'stache, despite the fact that it's made of creamy, delicious milk, that gets him into the top ten. More...
9.	I think it's best represented in the painting Walter's holding on the right, where they've given his locks the appropriate shine and just a little bit of curly length. Not only was it the style in the '80s (see also: Jenks, Darryl), but I think it holds up well over time. More...
8.	Broadway Joe wasn't synonymous with the handlebar mustache, and when most people remember him, they probably don't remember the 'stache (unless they happen to be one of the lucky ladies who were tickled by it). More...
7.	We remember you, Wannstache. When we think back on your NFL career, we remember it like this: Dave Wannstedt finished with a record of 0-87 as a head coach. The Wannstache went 82-0. More...
6.	Back in Cliff's day, I doubt there were too many NFL'ers who cared enough about their appearance to take the time to curl the ends of their 'stache like Rollie. But you can see Cliff just has a teeny-tiny little bit of upturn going on at the ends, and intentional or not, that adds so much class to the look. More...
5.	The Dobler mustache was an unruly work of perhaps accidental art that goes beyond our standard system of categorizing. It's like trying to assign a genre to Jimi Hendrix's famous version of the national anthem. You can't do it. And if you could, why would you want to? More...
4.	Today's wide receivers fashion themselves as the most stylish players in the league, but every single one of them could learn a thing or two about style from Drew Pearson. The glorious fur between Pearson's upper lip and his nose is the greatest that the wide receiver position has ever seen. More...
3.	Everyone knows dat when a man grows a mustache, especially one as glorious as Ditka's, it's the physical equivalent to doing about 45 cycles of horse steroids and drinking 245 Red Bulls. You see this mustache on me right now? I bench press 725 pounds with it, 115 pounds when I shave it off. Bears with the Lovie-stache 65, Colts 3. More...
2.	If you can't picture a guy without his mustache, then he's grown a damn fine mustache. I can't picture Hoss without his handsome brand of fanny tickler. I bet if he even tried to shave it off, the mustache would revolt and refuse to be shaved. It would turn to steel, develop a voice box, and say, "Nope. You want me gone, you'll have to take the entire upper lip off." More...
1.	If Lanny McDonald's mustache had a baby with Rollie Fingers's mustache (and hopefully, someone got that action on videotape), nine months later, you'd get Ben Davidson's mustache. No higher compliment for a mustache is even possible. More...