Shutdown Corner - NFL

Shutdown Corner

Wed Nov 11, 2009 2:24 pm EST

Jared Allen: The Mullet Lifestyle demands extra mayonnaise

By MJD

I will probably never be a president of the Jared Allen(notes) fan club, but this is awesome, and our be-mulleted readers deserve to see it.

"If someone asks if you want extra mayonnaise, you have to say 'yes'. 'Cause that's part of it."

I think that makes more sense than anything I've ever heard. From now on, I'm keeping a pair of scissors on me at all times, and if I ever heard a man with a mullet turn down extra mayonnaise, I'm cutting the neck blanket right off him. He doesn't deserve it. And if he doesn't like it, he can take it up with Jared Allen.

Gracias, Chris Cooley.

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67 Comments

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  1. gaborik10m
    1. Posted by gaborik10m Wed Nov 11, 2009 2:37 pm EST

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    This is true, fat people have mullets. Can't get fat without extra mayo.
  2. Max_Powers
    2. Posted by Max_Powers Wed Nov 11, 2009 2:45 pm EST

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    This is one of the funniest posts I've ever seen on Shutdown Corner. Jared Allen is a beast, and a funny-assed one too.
  3. Peter D
    3. Posted by Peter D Wed Nov 11, 2009 2:50 pm EST

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    i wouldnt cross him
  4. Brett P
    4. Posted by Brett P Wed Nov 11, 2009 2:59 pm EST

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    He will need trim just before he plays in the superbowl!!! Ha Ha packers GM and Coach!!!!!!!
  5. corndog10565
    5. Posted by corndog10565 Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:05 pm EST

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    Great stuff! Hilarious and a bad ass, lethal combination!
  6. murdered dogs, anyone?
    6. Posted by murdered dogs, anyone? Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:05 pm EST

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    the only thing that would have made that better is if he was wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. other than that, best shutdown corner EVER!
  7. Eskimo Monkey
    7. Posted by Eskimo Monkey Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:08 pm EST

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    That was one of the funniest things I've seen in a while
  8. Steve
    8. Posted by Steve Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:14 pm EST

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    I'm now officially a Jared Allen fan.
  9. Nick S
    9. Posted by Nick S Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:20 pm EST

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    Now Jared has won my respect, anyone who can kick @ss like him and be self deprecating to boot gets my vote.
  10. Mr. A-Jo
    10. Posted by Mr. A-Jo Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:21 pm EST

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    @8 Me too. I love seeing athletes who refuse to take themselves too seriously, and have fun with it.
  11. Jay M
    11. Posted by Jay M Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:33 pm EST

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    Funny [profane]....but mayo is still gross.
  12. Fitzy
    12. Posted by Fitzy Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:42 pm EST

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    I think he was referring to Jerod Mayonaisse. Those two need their own show. The Jared/Jerod show.
  13. Glenn
    13. Posted by Glenn Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:49 pm EST

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    Fantastic...
  14. Wes
    14. Posted by Wes Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:01 pm EST

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    Hilarious
  15. Purdue Pete
    15. Posted by Purdue Pete Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:32 pm EST

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    I'm going to be quoting that video for years to come. "Party with two r's"
  16. Imnotakid
    16. Posted by Imnotakid Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:49 pm EST

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    What about ranch dressing? People aren't drinking enough ranch. Mayonaise, please! Looking forward to the new Pepsi Ranch. Mmmmm....
  17. Pee Pee Face
    17. Posted by Pee Pee Face Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:56 pm EST

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    A football player who can pull off satire. He's hot even with the mullet!
  18. Mat M
    18. Posted by Mat M Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:02 pm EST

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    I'll bet Jared asks for seconds of man-mustard, too!
  19. James
    19. Posted by James Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:12 pm EST

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    I have let my hair grow out all over for the last couple of years,so it has more of the mop look that is currently in style.
    I think I now want my mullet back!!!!
    Hopefully he will make the chest hair popular again too...
  20. Army Dad
    20. Posted by Army Dad Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:35 pm EST

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    That was great. You have to give it to the Vikings brain trust. J.A was a great pickup.
  21. Christopher
    21. Posted by Christopher Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:35 pm EST

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    The sad thing is, is that I went to High school with him...
  22. YGM
    22. Posted by YGM Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:44 pm EST

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    Jared allen is perverted, #69, more mayonnaise? Seriously, think before you talk unless you want to end up like Mr. Larry Johnson.
  23. TERRY H
    23. Posted by TERRY H Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:00 pm EST

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    Awesome! This guy and Strahan should get together.
  24. bryanp
    24. Posted by bryanp Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:06 pm EST

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    Mayonnaise, mullet I could give two bleeps and a bleep. I'll take this guy on my team anyday of the week. He's a freak of nature on the field.
  25. Andrew S
    25. Posted by Andrew S Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:20 pm EST

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    I was partial to the "party with two r's." I'm definitely gonna quote that mayonaisse quote.

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