About a week ago, I poked a little fun at the Kansas City Chiefs for prohibiting standing during games at Arrowhead. Later, the Chiefs clarified their policy a bit, saying that they only wanted to curb "continuous" standing, which is still pretty vague.

Silly, too, given that the NFL wants to be counted as an exciting sport with passionate fans, and markets itself to people with functioning legs.

So here's what I propose. You take the several thousand seats in the stadium that are closest to the field, and you make them the cheapest seats in the building. You can call it the Dawg Pound, Black Hole, Correctional Facility, Drunk Tank, whatever you want.

Fans can get these tickets one of two ways:

1) Declaring on your season ticket application that you want to stand continuously and/or make a lot of noise.

2) The rest go on sale to the general public 48 hours before the game. They're available for purchase in-person only, at the stadium box office.

Ideally, you create an atmosphere where people are camping out for these tickets days in advance. People who watch games with their hands folded neatly in their laps don't camp out for tickets. Crazy melonfarmers do.

So now you've got all the loud, drunk, profane, stand-happy people together, so they don't have to be mixed in with the more genteel crowd. Better yet, they're in front of the genteel crowd, so when they throw beer cans, slices of pizza, snowballs, or severed limbs of opposing fans, they can't hit any nice people in the back of the head.

Hopefully, you could also get some separation behind the crazies, too, so the fans behind them can see over their heads, and also be spared some of the more ear-splitting profanities.

As with many of my proposals, I know this isn't realistic (this is why I've never been known for my excellent proposals). Those seats are generally quite expensive, and no team's going to give up that revenue. But I really think an organization could work around that by offering no amenities whatsoever to the standers (they're all bringing in their own flasks anyway), and jacking up the prices elsewhere while advertising "family-friendly" seats and protection from the evil standers.

You give people options. It's not "one size fits all" ticketing. If a fan won't go to the trouble of camping out for his ticket or buying the cheapest season ticket possible, I won't feel so bad if he or she gets admonished for excessive standing or cheering.

And I haven't even mentioned the best part, which is the real, tangible effect this could have on the outcome of a game. Crowd noise matters. And this way, you get your loudest fans closet to the field, where they can do the most damage. The right group of drunkards could have Rex Grossman crying before halftime.

Related: NFL League Issues