I considered including this under our new "Stuff You Need" feature, but even I couldn't advise you to spend $10,000 on this. That's the opening bid that Greg Lloyd is asking for him to come to your house and watch the Steelers vs. Browns game with you on September 14th.

$10,000. If the game lasts three-and-a-half hours (and Greg is leaving as soon as the game's over), you'll be paying a little over $47 a minute to hang out with Greg Lloyd. Greg Lloyd was a fine player, but come on ... $47 a minute? Eliot Spitzer thinks that's excessive. He was only paying $1,000 an hour, and I don't think Greg Lloyd is offering the same services.

From the "Frequently Asked Questions" portion of the auction (and I apologize for the all caps, but I feel like if I change it, I'll be distorting the pure Greg Lloyd-ness of the auction):

Q:GREG WAS KINDA OF A SCARY LOOKING GUY ON TV BACK WHEN HE PLAYED,IS HE A MEAN PERSON IN REAL LIFE?

A:NOT EVEN CLOSE.GREG LLOYD IS A VERY KIND MAN.GREG LLOYD THE FOOTBALL PLAYER AND GREG LLOYD THE PERSON ARE 2 TOTALY DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

Well, that's good to know. Here's another question I'd like to add to the FAQ:

What are the chances that Greg Lloyd puts a gun in my mouth? Because I try to avoid that.

That's what Greg was accused of doing to his son in 2001 because the lad brought home a bad report card. Two trials on the matter eventually ended in mistrials. A year later, he was also accused of pointing a gun at his ex-wife's head, and to that, he pleaded no contest.

Here's a quote from his son from an article in the Hartford Courant that's no longer on-line, but has been preserved here by Can't Stop the Bleeding:

According to press accounts of his testimony at the first trial, Greg Jr. said his father put the barrel of a Glock semiautomatic pistol in his mouth because he allegedly was upset about his 12-year-old son’s grades in school.

“He was like, `You’re wasting your life away and if you want to ruin it, I can end it for you right now,” Greg Jr. said at the trial.

Greg Lloyd Sr. testified at the first trial in Fayetteville, Ga., and denied the story. He did not testify at the second trial. At the time, his lawyer, Ricky Morris, said that “Greg maintains that this is basically Rhonda Lloyd’s attempt to get an upper hand in the divorce.”

Either way, $47 a minute seems a little bit much to pay for the guy's company.

Gracias, Sean's Ramblings.

Related: NFL Criminal Behavior