Shutdown Corner - NFL

Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:50 am EDT

Chris Cooley cremates a cow

He’s not only an expert blocker and pass-catcher for the Washington Redskins, but Chris Cooley is also an expert in the field of Big Dead Cow Removal. His method of choice? Gasoline, a match, and a towering inferno of burning bovine flesh.

While surveying some land he purchased in Wyoming, Cooley and friends ran across a big dead cow. They wanted to get rid of it, and not having a better method at hand, they flambéed the big rotting heap of flesh.

Cooley promises he has video, too, though he hasn’t posted it yet. I don’t know what he’s waiting for. I couldn’t tell you why, but burning a dead cow in the middle of nowhere seems like fun to me.

If you’re wondering about animal cruelty/proper dispoal issues, I’m afraid I don’t have a straight answer for you. No one was immediately available to take my call at Wyoming Animal Control this morning. Cooley did get a reply on his facebook page from someone named Christie Lopez, though, who said the following:

As the Director for adoptions for a rescue, an animal rights activist, a Vet Tech and a member of the HSUS this is not an act of cruelty. It all rights burning the corpse of a dead farm animal is the right thing to do to stop the spread of disease.

So there’s that. Personally, I can’t think of anything immoral about it. The cow’s dead. There’s no cruelty involved. Unless the cow had some religious affiliation that stipulates that a dead body must be dealt with in a certain way, I think Cooley’s in the clear here.

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45 Comments

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  1. Raider Fan
    1. Posted by Raider Fan Tue Jun 30, 2009 12:11 pm EDT

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    Cooley is the COOLEST!
  2. Redskins21
    2. Posted by Redskins21 Tue Jun 30, 2009 12:21 pm EDT

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    Cooley is a good guy.. He's loved by all us Skin fans.. Plays his heart out to.
  3. matt h
    3. Posted by matt h Tue Jun 30, 2009 12:31 pm EDT

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    Like a boss.
  4. Joseph B
    4. Posted by Joseph B Tue Jun 30, 2009 12:44 pm EDT

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    the bears are gonna hit them skins like it was prom night in South Central LA
  5. Eddie
    5. Posted by Eddie Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:15 pm EDT

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    huge mancrush
  6. B Welker
    6. Posted by B Welker Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:21 pm EDT

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    RE: #5 how much do da bears know about prom night in South Central LA? and if the skins say no, that means no... go home and take a cold shower you horn dogs....
    Oh yea, and GO Skins!
  7. YGM
    7. Posted by YGM Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:24 pm EDT

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    Great football article MJD.
  8. Scott H
    8. Posted by Scott H Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:30 pm EDT

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    Dead cows, yay! Cooley is gonna get some crappy phone customer service from now on.
  9. BigButch
    9. Posted by BigButch Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:36 pm EDT

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    Redskins been burning cows, bulls, Buffaloe and anthing else in the wide open plains........Go Cooley Go!
  10. TiffanyH
    10. Posted by TiffanyH Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:37 pm EDT

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    bears don't play skins so not sure how much hitting the bears are actually going to do.
  11. Scott E
    11. Posted by Scott E Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:08 pm EDT

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    PETA peoples up in arms!! Vultures denied rights to food sources. Protest march on Washington with film at 11:00. Wait, PETA peoples only care about the "rights" of cute animals. Never mind. Vulture makeover reality show at 11:00!!
  12. monitor
    12. Posted by monitor Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:12 pm EDT

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    The fire will certainly eliminate any human physical evidence that might have been left behind in the animal.
  13. tall john
    13. Posted by tall john Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:28 pm EDT

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    Cooley should've thrown MJD in there too!
  14. Abraham M
    14. Posted by Abraham M Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:05 pm EDT

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    That's not the only cow Cooley's gonna burn this year. He and all the rest of the Skins are gonna burn a whole team of cow-boys! Hail to the REDSKINS!
  15. Gary B
    15. Posted by Gary B Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:06 pm EDT

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    So Cooley is a Cowboy?
  16. vertskate900
    16. Posted by vertskate900 Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:23 pm EDT

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    More unwarranted attention for Chris Cooley? Man oh man, how he must wish he was Brett Favre.
    Go Bears!
  17. love4guitars
    17. Posted by love4guitars Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:17 pm EDT

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    Oh yeah, Joseph B from Chicago, Cooley will do one more thing to the Bears before he lights them up too, but I can't discuss such things in proper company!! And Jake Cutler will get a front row seat to the Albert Haynesworth show come game time. I guarantee 'ol Jake will NEVER be the same!!
  18. love4guitars
    18. Posted by love4guitars Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:21 pm EDT

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    Duuuhhhh, in da heat of the moment I believe I called Jay Cutler Jake? My bad, my mind was on what we will be doing to all of the haters come September and it had me shook up for a minute, but I am o.k. now. Sorry Jake(Jay) whatever..........
  19. Big Money
    19. Posted by Big Money Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:07 pm EDT

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    if goodell doesnt do sumthin about this, then there is no way in hell he should do something to vick.... Vick killed dogs that were about to die... he desacrated a carcus... even if it is a cow..... can u say RACISM........
  20. Pat S
    20. Posted by Pat S Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:54 pm EDT

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    I don't think you can even POSSIBLY say racism here, Vick raised dogs for the meaning of fighting and pitted them against each other in extremely cruel ways. Cooley was merely disposing a body through the only practical means (considering he did not have a shovel or any other way to get bury/get rid of the carcass).
  21. Pat S
    21. Posted by Pat S Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:54 pm EDT

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    I don't think you can even POSSIBLY say racism here, Vick raised dogs for the meaning of fighting and pitted them against each other in extremely cruel ways. Cooley was merely disposing a body through the only practical means (considering he did not have a shovel or any other way to get bury/get rid of the carcass).
  22. Reggie S
    22. Posted by Reggie S Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:29 am EDT

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    Funny stuff...
  23. rob c
    23. Posted by rob c Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:26 am EDT

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    cooley is cool!
  24. Stephen H
    24. Posted by Stephen H Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:03 am EDT

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    Next time set a Cowboys fan on fire.
    Better yet, set fire to anyone who uses "da" when trying to say "the."

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