Shutdown Corner - NFL

Shutdown Corner

Thu Feb 07, 2008 11:33 am EST

Can the Buffalo Bills be platonic friends with Toronto?

By MJD

I hate to be a pessimist, but things don't sound too rosy for you right now, football fans of Buffalo. Your team's gotten permission to play an NFL regular season game in Toronto every year through 2012, and they've also got three preseason games scheduled there.

Worse than that, Bills owner Ralph Wilson won't guarantee the Bills will stay in Buffalo, and sounds like a lovestruck teenager everytime he talks about the city of Toronto.

Right now, the relationship between the city of Buffalo and the Bills organization feels a little bit like this:

City of Buffalo: I've noticed you've been spending a lot of time with that Toronto skank.

Bills Organization: Baby, that don't mean nothin'.

City of Buffalo: I don't know why you can't just stay home with me. I cook for you, I clean for you, and I support you, even though you break my heart.

Bills Organization: You know you're my baby, Buffalo. It's just that Toronto ... she understands me. She listens. She makes me feel good.

City of Buffalo: Have you touched her? Have you kissed her?

Bills Organization: Baby, no! Of course not! NO! Stop looking at me like that!

City of Buffalo: Is this about her money?

Bills Organization: I'm not even going to dignify myself with a response to that.

City of Buffalo: She has the clap, you know. She'll turn your junk green.

Bills Organization: The only junk-destroying disease I want to get comes from you, baby. And you know that.

City of Buffalo: Oh, Bills ... you know just what to say. Do you promise you'll stay with me forever?

Bills Organization: Baby, you have the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen.

City of Buffalo: *swoon*

Bills Organization: You down for a little action right now, baby?

City of Buffalo: No, I have a headache. Maybe later. Hey, where are you going?

Bills Organization: I'm gonna see Toronto. But I don't want you to worry, baby girl, we're just friends, and you know you can trust your man.

City of Buffalo: Okay, I trust you. Bye, baby. I love you. And you love me, right?

Bills Organization: You sure do have pretty eyes, baby.

I'd like to hope for the best, but I think we all know that the Bills aren't heading to Toronto just to chat. A couple hours from now, the shades are going to be drawn, some money might exchange hands, and then it's time for the friction.

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63 Comments

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  1. Brave Sir Robin
    1. Posted by Brave Sir Robin Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:39 pm EDT

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    Why do I have an image of Toronto in the pile driver position all of a sudden?
  2. Scott O
    2. Posted by Scott O Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:30 pm EDT

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    i am a bills season ticket holder, but not next year. wilson can take those tickets and stick them in his ear or wherever toronto wants to put them. buffalo sold out all but two games before the season ever started last year, and those two games eventually sold out, and that is with a rebuilding team. i don't see any need for the bills to expand there market. half of the people that sat in my row were from canada. they will come to us and we will sell out games. so if ralph wilson really wants to help this franchise out, he should sell to someone who will keep this team in buffalo. just look what Tom G has done for the sabres. Wilson has mis-managed this franchise for too long.
  3. Big Daddy Rich
    3. Posted by Big Daddy Rich Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:44 pm EDT

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    This is one of the funniest columns I have ever read. I am a Miami'n, my high school football coach was from Buffalo, & he would be spinning in his grave had he seen this... I guess the Argonauts weren't enough, Canada wanted to stick their fingers in the NFL too (Given that they're in the NBA, & MLB). But they need to leave that franshise as is, and where it is, it's a GREAT rivalry (Buffalo Wings & Dolphin Fingers) in the AFC East....but.... Well, at least health care will be free for the players and their families...haha.
    Miami is rebuilding starting from the top (and we will be nasty very soon, THE PATS WILL NEVER RECOVER), and maybe that is what this franchise needs to do with the front office too. Buffalo, will be the new bas-tard step-child of the NFL.
  4. StephenS
    4. Posted by StephenS Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:30 pm EDT

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    Miami being nasty very soon? You almost went 0-16 this past season, are you kidding me?
    Miami is at least 2-3 years from being good again, and New England is by far still the best team in the east, it isn't even close. Buffalo still fills the #2 team in the AFC east and will look to fill in the few holes they have via fee agency and the draft to become a playoff contender.
    Ralph is a complete moron and is completely alienating the fans of Buffalo, tons of Canadian fans already come here for games.
  5. Rick S
    5. Posted by Rick S Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:08 pm EDT

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    i'm a bills fan living in miami and i can tell you dolphin fans are all idiots. last year all i heard was "miami has a real quarterback , were going to be great." that post was obviously from an ignorant dolphin loving donkey. the fins will be in the cellar a long time, while buffalo is wild card in 2008.
  6. Buffalo Beast Mode
    6. Posted by Buffalo Beast Mode Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:25 pm EDT

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    The Bills aren't going anywhere.
    And Scott O: this isn't about selling out the stadium, it's about luxury suites, and attracting "fans" with deep pockets. In that respect, the Bills are in desperate need of regionalization and expanding the fanbase. This is a no-brainer.
  7. Buffalo Beast Mode
    7. Posted by Buffalo Beast Mode Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:25 pm EDT

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    The Bills aren't going anywhere.
    And Scott O: this isn't about selling out the stadium, it's about luxury suites, and attracting "fans" with deep pockets. In that respect, the Bills are in desperate need of regionalization and expanding the fanbase. This is a no-brainer.
  8. michael h
    8. Posted by michael h Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:49 pm EDT

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    Bills in TO will mean the end of the CFL, the only league to have two teams named the Rough Riders!!!! Despite that potential tragedy, I'd love to see it happen as Toronto fans will go crazy over the NFL.
  9. Brian C
    9. Posted by Brian C Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:13 pm EDT

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    i thought jim kelly had come out and said something to the effect of he would not let the bills go anywhere.
  10. D
    10. Posted by D Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:45 pm EDT

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    i have been to every game the last 3 years. I have been a bills fan since i was 5 years old. At a couple of games this year I had canadians sitting behind me and they were the rudest people i have ever been around. Good Job Ralph!! I will not be buying any tickets this year nor will the 20 people i go with every game. Is that what you wanted Ralph, to take away from your loyal fans that have been sticking by you even though there has been nothing worth watching and sticking around for. Expand your market for a couple thousand people, while you lose 20-30 thousand that come from your surrounding areas, like rochester, syracuse, and maybe erie PA. We all know will not be making the trip to toronto. Sounds like a great move to me, like all your coaches you have hired since Marv.
  11. michael h
    11. Posted by michael h Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:49 pm EDT

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    Dan L.....LOL!!!!!.....that's rich...an American calling Canadians rude.....hello pot, this is kettle...your black!!! Still laughing!!!!!!!
  12. Scott S
    12. Posted by Scott S Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:46 pm EDT

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    Someone mention green junk?
    /ricky
  13. Mojo W
    13. Posted by Mojo W Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:24 pm EDT

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    " Miami is rebuilding starting from the top (and we will be nasty very soon "
    I'm a die hard Miami fan and even I laughed at this statement. Big Daddy Rich, I think we have a few years to go before we're even "in the mix" again.
    " dolphin fans are all idiots. last year all i heard was "miami has a real quarterback , were going to be great "
    We're not all idiots, I have no delusions about our talent or lack thereof at the QB position. We have a long road ahead of us before we're a "great" team again.
    As far
  14. Mojo W
    14. Posted by Mojo W Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:24 pm EDT

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    " miami is rebuilding starting from the top (and we will be nasty very soon "
    i'm a die hard miami fan and even i laughed at this statement. big daddy rich, i think we have a few years to go before we're even "in the mix" again.
    " dolphin fans are all idiots. last year all i heard was "miami has a real quarterback , were going to be great "
    we're not all idiots, i have no delusions about our talent or lack thereof at the qb position. we have a long road ahead of us before we're a "great" team again.
  15. cembybills
    15. Posted by cembybills Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:21 pm EDT

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    I'm a die-hard Bills fan from California, and my goal has always been to head out to Buffalo to see a game at Ralph Wilson Stadium. I've watched the Bills in Oakland and San Francisco, but I can't imagine it's anything close to the atmosphere that a stadium full of Bills fans creates. If I don't get the opportunity to see a game there and they end up moving, I will truly be devastated. It's one of my worst fears, and I really, really hope they do not move.
  16. cembybills
    16. Posted by cembybills Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:21 pm EDT

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    i'm a die-hard bills fan from california, and my goal has always been to head out to buffalo to see a game at ralph wilson stadium. i've watched the bills in oakland and san francisco, but i can't imagine it's anything close to the atmosphere that a stadium full of bills fans creates. if i don't get the opportunity to see a game there and they end up moving, i will truly be devastated. it's one of my worst fears, and i really, really hope they do not move.
  17. James R
    17. Posted by James R Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:28 pm EDT

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    Lets Go SABRES!!!!!
  18. renny2006
    18. Posted by renny2006 Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:36 pm EDT

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    You can take the Bills out of Buffalo, but you can't take the Buffalo out of the Bills!
    Buffalo Bills fans are awesome!!!
  19. Jeff W
    19. Posted by Jeff W Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:43 pm EDT

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    I dont care if the Bills go to Toronto.. in fact I dont care if we win a lot of games each year. The 2 most important games to win in the year are the 2 games against the Fish. The Fish and Bills is the = to the Yankees Redsoxs with only a lot more venom and hate towards each other. We dont like them and they dont like us. When your born into a Bills or Fish household, your genese are preprinted with this code in them. Its not like one day you wake up and go I will hate on the Fish..
    Jim Kelly has the coin to keep Buffalo in Buffalo and when Ralph say adios thats when Kelly can take control of the team and build a new stadium maybe in downtown ?.. But as long as there is a Bills franchise the 2 most important games to win each year are those against Miami period.
  20. James S
    20. Posted by James S Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:47 pm EDT

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    good to see you losers go, bye now
  21. hermmnstr
    21. Posted by hermmnstr Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:18 pm EDT

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    Like I said before,what's the big deal.What's wrong with a trip across the Peace Bridge,some Labatts at the Skydome,RUSH at halftime,and a little Canadian ballet before sneaking back home to West Seneca and the wife.Oh yeah,the Bills game too!
  22. The SuperBills
    22. Posted by The SuperBills Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:54 pm EDT

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    Come on Dan L , Canadians aren`t that bad.
    And as a BILLS fan I also agree with previous posts that the BILLS aren`t going anyhwhere and that Ralph is a moron! But you`ll play into your own demise buy not buying season tickets anymore. And it`s the responsibility of a local group to make the best bid to keep the BILLS in Buffalo once Ralph`s gig is up...
  23. trunkz1
    23. Posted by trunkz1 Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:23 pm EDT

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    This is probably the most funny column I've seen on Y! sports ever!!!!!!!
  24. jeffpic
    24. Posted by jeffpic Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:32 pm EDT

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    this is from a new england fan,
    F canada, dont disgrace buffalo

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