New Year's NFL resolutions

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With a New Year about to hit, it's time for the annual resolution ritual. Sure, there are the usual personal goals, such as the promise I make every year to rebuild my jump shot to its once-enjoyable form. Heck, just the idea of getting my hefty rump off the ground enough to call it a "jump" would be an accomplishment.

This year, there are a number of promises I'm making to myself to become a better person when it comes to writing about the NFL. With that in mind, here's a list of ideas for 2007:

I will continue to hope every day that Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning of the Indianapolis Colts win a Super Bowl together.

I will hope that Cincinnati Bengals coach Marvin Lewis learns one day that depending on criminals doesn't pay.

I promise to stop giggling to myself every time I hear the words "Oakland Raiders" and "Detroit Lions."

I'll stop writing that Detroit president Matt Millen is a joke and should be fired. Belaboring the obvious is boring.

I will stop wondering why Ford Motor Company is struggling to survive. The Fords also own the Lions.

I will not relent in demanding that the NFL adopt a one-game suspension for any player and a severe fine for any coach or team executive who is arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol, even if the offense is later reduced or dismissed. In a game where there's so much money and so much support, there's no excuse for this type of irresponsible behavior.

After watching Vince Young (Tennessee Titans), Matt Leinart (Arizona Cardinals), Jay Cutler (Denver Broncos) and Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboys) this season, I'll stop writing that playing quarterback in the NFL is really hard for rookies and other inexperienced players.

I promise to stop feeling that overwhelming sense of weary disgust every time I hear the words "Terrell Owens."

I won't roll my eyes so much when I hear Al Davis talk about how the Raiders have done more to help minorities than any other organization in sports history.

I will stop believing all of New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin's idiotic notions about the importance of discipline when he can't even discipline his own play-calling.

I will give thanks more often now that Roger Goodell, who has shown the common courtesy to learn the names of many of the people who cover his league, is now commissioner of the NFL.

I will constantly remember that I should never ever, ever, ever turn the sound up on my TV during ESPN's god-awful "Jacked Up" segment.

I will stop wondering why ESPN's Michael Irvin refuses to criticize any person he interviews, starting with Terrell Owens.

I promise to stop wondering how the Bidwill Family (owners of the Cardinals) can be so utterly clueless.

I will continue to be grateful that I have one of the best jobs anyone could ever imagine.