The residents of Gotham City are able to summon Batman to swoop in and save the day using the Bat Signal.
As a Los Angeles Lakers fan I wish I had a Zen Master Signal consisting of a soul patch and fashionable spectacles I could beam into the night sky to summon Phil Jackson.
Come home, Phil.
The residents of Lakers Nation need you. And you need us.
Here are the reasons why Phil Jackson should return - now, immediately - to coach the Lakers.
Going Out On Top
Phil Jackson would only come back to win a title, and this Lakers team can do it.
The Lakers' bench is stronger with the growth of Jordan Hill and signings of Antawn Jamison and Jodie Meeks.
Also, Phil Jackson's last experience on the Lakers' bench was the humiliating 4-0 sweep at the hands of the Dallas Mavericks in 2011. The normally clam Zen Master was so upset with his team's play that he nearly pistol-whipped Pau Gasol during a timeout.
The way Jackson left the game must taste like bile in his mouth.
Come back, Phil, and lead the Lakers back to the Promised Land, retiring as you deserve - a champion.
The Steve Nash Factor
The Zen Master is famous for motivating his player in practice and before games then largely sitting back and watching/letting them play during the actual games.
With Steve Nash controlling the flow of the offense Phil Jackson's role during the games would be fairly relaxed.
Nash's presence would allow Jackson to largely sit on the bench daydreaming about motorcycles or the 1970's or string theory or whatever it is that occupies the man's fascinating mind.
I also think it would be personally gratifying to Phil Jackson to help Steve Nash finally win a title.
The Great Experiment
Phil Jackson prides himself on his somewhat mystical ways of bringing together big egos to form cohesive, focused teams. Assigning players to read books and team meditation sessions are two of his favorite approaches.
Jackson would probably look at the opportunity of melding Kobe, Dwight, Gasol, and Nash into a unified team as an interesting professional challenge, just the type of thing that makes a man un-retire.
I mean, just think of the possibilities in the books Jackson could give his players to read.
Kobe Bryant will need to learn how to share the ball with Steve Nash, so maybe assign him The Giving Tree? Dwight Howard will need to adjust to being surrounded by talent, so perhaps he could read Ender's Game?
And just for fun, let's give Metta World Peace a copy of The Baby Sitter's Club: Kristy's Great Idea, just to see how much it trips him out.
Turning this collection of individual Hall-of-Famers into a cohesive team would be an intriguing challenge to Phil Jackson.
Um, What About Mike Brown?
The Lakers could do worse than having Mike Brown, a former NBA Coach of the Year who has never had a losing season in six years of coaching, leading the team.
But the Lakers could do better than Mike Brown if Phil Jackson returns.
I know Mike Brown has a contract, but I frankly don't care. The Lakers make $40 gazillion dollars a year (according to my unscientific analysis) and can afford to pay off Mike Brown.
Come home, Phil Jackson, and lead the Lakers to the title.
The Zen Master Signal, sitting atop the Staples Center, is burning brightly in the night sky.
Andrew Sweat is a die-hard Lakers fan. For more from this author, visit Andrew's archive or check these out articles: