Welcome to Week 17 of the National Football League fantasy division. I will be your conductor on this journey into the depths of fantasy football angst and jubilation. We'll start with the actives and inactives and then I'll keep you updated on all of the Sunday action.
* Tavon Austin (ankle) is not expected to play against the Seahawks.
* NFL.com's Ian Rapoport reports both Ray Rice (thigh) and Torrey Smith (hamstring) are expected to play through their questionable tags against the Bengals.
* Rueben Randle (knee) is active for today's game against Washington.
* Case Keenum (thumb) is inactive for Week 17 against the Titans, and Matt Schaub will start at quarterback.
* Jordan Cameron (concussion) is active and Joe Haden (hip) is inactive against the Steelers.
* Santonio Holmes (foot, hamstring) is active against the Dolphins.
* Jonathan Stewart (knee) and Steve Smith (knee) are inactive against the Falcons. DeAngelo Williams should be a good play in a good matchup.
* Emmanuel Sanders (knee) is active against the Browns.
* Daniel Thomas (ankle) is active against the Jets.
* Adrian Peterson and Toby Gerhart are inactive. Matt Asiata will get the start.
* Dennis Johnson (hip) is inactive against the Titans. Jonathan Grimes will start at running back.
* Jermaine Gresham (hamstring) and Tyler Eifert (shoulder) are both inactive against the Ravens. Alex Smith and Orson Charles will handle tight end duties.
* Jamal Charles will be rested today according to Jay Glazer. Knile Davis will get the start.
* Wes Welker (concussion) will not play today, but is fully expected to be ready for the Broncos' first playoff game.
* Earl Bennett (personal) is not expected to play against the Packers.
* FOX's Jay Glazer confirms Randall Cobb (leg) will be active against Chicago.
* Tony Gonzalez, playing his 277th and final NFL game, heads to midfield by himself to represent the Falcons during the coin toss. Crowd goes wild.
* Andy Dalton throws an interception to start the game.
* Alfred Morris catches a pass and goes for 15 yards. That's rare.
* Maurice Jones-Drew fumbles. Recovered by Colts. MJD went 526 consecutive rushes without a lost fumble. Goes back to October 24, 2011.
* Two receptions for Tony Gonzalez for 28 yards in his final game. Looks like they want to let him go out on a high note.
* Texans' 100th string running backs Jonathan Grimes scores from 3 yards out for the first points of the day.
* Matt Ryan throws a 9 yard pass to Jason Snelling for a TD. It's the first opening drive TD the Panthers have allowed all season.
* Ben Roethlisberger throws a 10 yard TD pass to Jerricho Cotchery, Cotchery's 10th TD of season.
* Donald Brown rushes in for a 1 yard TD.
* Chase Ford leads the league in targets with 4 at the moment. He's the Vikings' TE.
* And now Andy Dalton has two picks in the first six minutes. Bad Andy, Bandy.
* Bernard Pierce has 4 carries for 27 yards, Ray Rice has 1 for 1 yard.
* The Steelers sack and cause Jason Campbell to fumble and they recover.
* Trent Richardson goes in for a 2 yard TD.
* Cordarrelle Patterson scores on a brilliant 50-yard run.
* Ben Roethlisberger throws an interception.
* TY Hilton already has 5 receptions, but of the short variety.
* Andy Dalton throws a 53 yard touchdown pass to AJ Green to get himself and the team back on track.
* Brian Hartline has a knee injury.
* Cam Newton with an insane 16 yard run after looking like he would be sacked.
* Ryan Tannehill to Mike Wallace 5 yard touchdown.
* Cam Newton intercepted.
* Josh Brown misses a 50 yard FG in the rain. Fourth-and-2 on Washington's 32 for a 6-9 team seems like a good time to go for it.
* Matt Cassel intercepted in the end zone.
* Jonathan Grimes runs for 11 yards then loses a fumble. That was his 10th carry.
* Le'Veon Bell runs in for a 6 yard touchdown.
* TY Hilton now has 8 receptions for 83 yards on 11 targets with 8 minutes until half.
* Cam Newton is just 1-7 for 8 yards.
* Nick Folk hits a 35-yarder to give the Jets a 17-7 lead. 4:18 left in the game. Miami's season is getting close to the end.
* Andre Brown fumbles.
* Joe Flacco is hurting.
* Ryan Fitzpatrick is intercepted.
* DeAngelo Williams goes for a long catch and run, but fumbles as he's tackled and Atlanta recovers.
* The Panthers score anyway on a pick six.
* Sheldon Richardson scores from the 1 yard line to tie the Dolphins 7-7. Chris Ivory doesn't seem to be the goal line back anymore.
* Eli Manning hits Jerrel Jernigan for a 24 yard TD.
* Jerrel Jernigan has 6 receptions for 90 yards and that TD.
* Justin Hunter injured shoulder. Return is questionable.
* Andy Dalton throws a 16 yard TD to Marvin Jones. He's bounced back well from his two early picks.
* Kirk Cousins having a horrid game at the moment completing just 5 of 13 passes for 32 yards.
* Hakeem Nicks to the locker room. Rueben Randle is out as well.
* Geno Smith rushes for a 7 yard TD. Jets go up 14-7. Steelers fans are happy for now.
* Mike Tolbert bowling over guys.
* Cam Newton throws a TD to a wide open Ted Ginn.
* Eli Manning intercepted for the 27th time this season.
* Eli Manning is hurt and goes to the locker room early.
* Giants announce Eli Manning is being evaluated for an ankle injury.
* Andrew Luck up to 203 yards passing, but the Colts have two short rushing TDs instead of passing.
* Matthew Stafford and the Lions finally get on the board with a 19 yard TD pass to Reggie Bush. 7-7 Vikings/Lions.
* Matt Schaub picked off after a deflection.
* TY Hilton continues his big day with a 40 yard reception. He's at 10 receptions for 136 yards.
* Chris Johnson hits 1,000 yards rushing for the 6th straight season and yet he still doesn't look like he'll ever try as hard as he did in his 2k year.
* Andrew Luck throws a 7 yard TD to Griff Whalen (oddly enough he's a Hufflepuff).
* TY Hilton's big day up to 11 catches for 155 yards.
* Chris Johnson rushes in for an 11 yard TD.
* Eli Manning is out of the game with an ankle injury. Curtis Painter starts the second half for the Giants. Time to paint this game beige.
* Matt Asiata having a much better game than I expected against the Lions tough front line. He has 10 carries for 65 yards.
* Matt Ryan throws a 39 yard TD to Roddy White. White had three drops today, not on this one.
* Tavon Austin is OUT.
* Curtis Painter is intercepted. Curtis Painter is intercepted. Curtis Painter is intercepted. Curtis Painter is intercepted.
* TE Alex Smith (wrist) is out for the game. That's the Bengals top 3 tight ends out now.
* Hakeem Nicks is out for the rest of the game. He'll finish the season with a big fat zero touchdowns. Not the way you want a contract year to go.
* Cam Newton NBA/Soccer flops to draw the late hit.
* Joe Flacco throws an 8 yard TD to Marlon Brown.
* DeAngelo Williams tops 100 total yards, but no TDs and a fumble hurting his fantasy day right now.
* Cam Newton to Greg Olsen on an absolute rocket throw for a 7 yard TD.
* Ray Rice gets in for the 2 point conversion to tie the game 17-17.
* Andy Reid is resting his starters - no Alex Smith, Jamaal Charles or Dwayne Bowe.
* Matt Asiata picks up a first down… then loses a fumble.
* Antonio Brown has 8 receptions for 83 yards. He has 5 or more receptions in every game this year.
* Ben Roethlisberger is picked off for the 2nd time.
* Andy Dalton threw his 3rd interception earlier, but just rushed in for a 1 yard TD. That's 3 TDs and 3 interceptions.
* Kirk Cousins throws an interception. His horrid day continues.
* Andrew Luck is done for the day in a blowout. His afternoon ends with him going 26 of 37 for 282 yards and 1 TD.
* Cam Newton has 11 carries for 70 yards.
* Matt Cassel passes to Cordarrelle Patterson for an 8 yard TD, his second TD of the game.
* Everything going very well for the Chargers to make the playoffs. KC is resting all their good offensive and defensive starters and the Bengals and Jets are winning. If all were to stay as is the Steelers would only be able to get in if KC's 2nd stringers beat San Diego.
* Roddy White is dropping passes left and right. Making some business decisions.
* Jerrel Jernigan with a 49-yard TD run. He now has 139 total yards and 2 TDs.
* Jason Campbell to Fozzy Whitaker for a 35 yard TD.
* Andy Dalton throws his 4th pick of the day. A long TD soon to come.
* The Georgia Dome is rocking "Whoop There It Is." This is why they aren't in the playoffs.
* Matt Asiata with a 39 yard run. That's 115 yards on 14 carries.
* Greg Hardy has 4 sacks, Charles Johnson 2, the Panthers as a team 9.
* Joe Flacco is pick-sixed to put the icing on the no-playoff cake for the Super Bowl champs.
* The first playoff matchup is set. Kansas City at Indianapolis next week.
* Ryan Tannehill intercepted to seal the Dolphins fate. They had their fate in their own hands, just needing to win their last two. They lost their last two.
* Jonathan Grimes finishes with a nice fantasy day. He had 50 yards rushing and 76 yards receiving with a touchdown and one fumble.
* Kirk Cousins ends the game with an interception. He finishes by completing 19 of 49 passes for 169 yards and two interceptions. I don't think RG3 needs to be concerned.
* The Chargers win and are in the playoffs. The Steelers are on the outside looking in, like most of their fans who were too loud and had to be thrown out of many homes.
* Time for Peyton Manning to break Drew Brees' single season yardage record.
* Seven afternoon games!
* Kansas City off to a hot start with 20 of their 22 starters watching from the sideline. Knile Davis runs in for a 17 yard TD. Steelers' fans get their hopes up.
* Drew Brees to Lance Moore for a 44 yard TD. Brees at home is a lock as usual.
* The Seahawks start with a pick-six of Kellen Clemens.
* Peyton Manning to Eric Decker from 3 yards out, his 52nd of the year.
* Philip Rivers to Ladarius Green for a 22 yard TD. 7-7 game. Steelers' fans hang their heads.
* Peyton Manning goes 7 of 8 for 67 yards on that drive. He needs 199 to break Brees' record.
* Mike Glennon to Tiquan Underwood after a flea flicker for a 48 yard TD. Tied up at 7.
* Bad snap and the Broncos recover the fumble.
* Colin Kaepernick throws a 3 yard TD to Anquan Boldin. 49ers go up 10-0.
* Peyton Manning throws a short pass to Knowshon Moreno and he follows his blocking in for a 7 yard TD. That's 53 passing TDs for Manning and counting.
* Aaron Rodgers intercepted by Chris Conte in the end zone on a poor throw.
* Drew Brees has yet to throw an incompletion on two scoring drives. This second one goes to Jimmy Graham for a 10 yard TD.
* Jay Cutler throws a 4 yard TD to Matt Forte. This game looks like it will be a good one.
* Chase Daniels to Dexter McCluster for a 2 yard TD. KC goes up 14-7. Steelers fans perk up.
* Colin Kaepernick throws a 63 yard pass to Anquan Boldin down near the goal line. Then he throws a 3 yard TD to Vernon Davis. 49ers up 17-0 on the Cardinals.
* Aaron Rodgers throws another interception.
* Julian Edelman has 100 catches and 1000+ yards on the season.
* Philip Rivers throws a 4 yard TD to Antonio Gates to tie it up 14-14. Steelers fans have another drink.
* LeGarrette Blount runs for a 36 yard touchdown.
* Zac Stacy has 8 carries for 1 yard.
* Jordy Nelson is happy Aaron Rodgers is back. He already has 5 catches for 80 yards.
* Drew Brees throws his third TD of the day. This one goes to Robert Meachem for 41 yards.
* Peyton Manning throws his 54th touchdown, this one to yet a different receiver, Demaryius Thomas for 63 yards.
* Peyton Manning is at 196 yards, just 70 yards from the record.
* Broncos now own single-season NFL scoring record.
* Carson Palmer throws a 1 yard TD to Jake Ballard.
* Mike Glennon throws a 1 yard TD to Tim Wright. 21-14 Saints.
* Knowshon Moreno tops 1,000 yards rushing.
* Knile Davis rushes for his second TD of the day, this one from 2 yards out. KC takes a 21-14 lead. Steelers fans do something to indicate happiness.
* Aaron Rodgers is sacked and fumbles and Jarrett Boykin picks up the fumble and goes for a TD. The Bears just let the ball sit there.
* Peyton Manning adds to his touchdown record while breaking Drew Brees' single season record. He's now at 55 TDs and 5,477 yards after a 5 yard TD to Demaryius Thomas. Greatest of all time.
* Kenny Stills with no one around him catches a 76-yard TD from Drew Brees.
* All games are in half time. I need food.
* Peyton Manning and Knowshon Moreno are being rested now with a 31-0 lead.
* Matt Forte rushes for a 5 yard TD. That's his second TD of the day.
* Welcome back Randall Cobb. He catches a 7 yard TD to go up 21-14.
* Matt Forte rushes in from 1 yard, his third TD of the day and puts the Bears up by one.
* Thad Lewis throws a TD to TJ Graham for 12 yards. The Patriots lead is cut to 6.
* Pierre Thomas rushes in for an 8 yard TD. The Saints are up 35-17.
* Marshawn Lynch goes in for a 2 yard TD.
* Tom Brady throws a 5 yard TD to Shane Vereen.
* Philip Rivers throws a 6 yard TD to Eddie Royal. Chiefs lead cut to 3. Steelers fans sob.
* Drew Brees rushes for a 9 yard TD. He now has 4 TD passes and one rushing TD.
* Fred Jackson rushes for a 5 yard TD.
* Brandon Marshall for 5 yard TD on a fade in the end zone.
* LeGarrette Blount is having a big day with 20 attempts for 135 yards and a TD.
* Eddie Lacy rushes for a 6 yard TD. Packers down 1. They didn't go for 2. There's still 11 minutes left.
* CJ Spiller has 19 carries for 105 yards.
* Steelers are big fans of Chase Daniel right now. Tie game and he's taken the Chiefs to the Chargers 31 with 2 minutes remaining.
* Terrelle Pryor throws a TD to Rod Streater.
* Carson Palmer throws a 34 yard TD to Andre Roberts to tie up the game, but with the Saints destroying Tampa Bay they have no shot at the playoffs now.
* Ryan Suckup misses a 41 yard FG. Tie game still. 4 seconds remain. Steelers fans run into traffic.
* Overtime in San Diego.
* LeGarrette Blount runs for a 35 yard TD. He's at 189 yards and two TDs now. With return yards he's up to 334 total yards!
* Chargers run a fake punt and get a first down.
* Randall Cobb does it again, this time on 4th and long with under a minute left he catches a 48 yard TD.
* Terrelle Pryor throws a 9 yard TD to Nick Kasa.
* Golden Tate and Jared Cook caught TDs up in garbage time Seattle.
* Packers win and are in the playoffs.
* Frank Gore has 13 carries for 14 yards.
* Jay Feely kicks a field goal to tie it up 20-20. Cardinals don't won't to be done with their season.
* San Francisco wins on a last second field goal.
* The Colts will face the Kansas City Chiefs
* The Bengals will play the Chargers
* The 49ers will play the Packers
* The Saints will play the winner of the Eagles and Cowboys.