True-to-Life Sports Comedy 'A League of Their Own' Celebrates 20th Anniversary

Funniest Lines from 'A League of Their Own'

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According to CBS News, the surviving members of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League (AAGPBL) reunited this past weekend in New York. As professional athletes enlisted in the armed forces during World War II, chewing gum magnate Philip K. Wrigley formed the AAGPBL to keep baseball alive in America.

Inspired by a documentary produced by Kelly Candaele and Kim Wilson, Penny Marshall directed "A League of Their Own," a bittersweet 1992 sports comedy featuring a strong female cast.

In honor of the film's 20th anniversary, here are 10 lines/quotations that made the story such a major league hit:

Ernie Capadino: "Ever hear of Walter Harvey? Makes Harvey bars, you know the candy?"

Dottie Hinson: "Yeah, we feed them to the cows when they are constipated."

This exchange marked the first meeting between baseball scout Ernie Capadino (Jon Lovitz), Dottie Hinson (Geena Davis), and her kid sister Kit (Lori Petty). Dottie and Kit were milking cows in the barn, which made the sarcastic scout extremely agitated.

Walter Harvey and his candy bars are a tip of the baseball cap to Philip Wrigley and his chewing gum.

Capadino: "You know, if I had your job, I'd kill myself. Sit here and I'll see if I can dig up a pistol."

While waiting for Dottie and Kit on the train, Ernie endures a bragging salesman. Not one to tolerate a fool for long, the scout tosses a high, fast barb and makes a quick exit.

Mae Mordabito: "Boy, that was some good peeing!"

An inebriated Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks) greets his players by stumbling into the locker room and urinating. Mae Mordabito, played by Madonna, borrows a watch so she can time him.

Ira Lowenstein: "That's a nice piece of coaching, Jimmy. I especially liked that move in the fifth inning when you scratched your balls for an hour."

Jimmy: "Anything worth doing is worth doing right."

Dugan's lackadaisical attitude toward girls and baseball came to a head in this scene. Ira Lowenstein (David Strathairn), the league's general manager, reads the riot act to Jimmy as he's washing his face in a drinking fountain.

Teenager driver: "What's your rush, doll-body? What say we slip in the back seat and you make a man out of me?"

Dottie: "What do you say I slap you around for a while?"

Teenage driver: "Can't we do both?"

To retrieve her sister and their teammates from a road house, Dottie enlists a youthful driver, who promptly makes a pass at her once they arrive.

Dottie: "What did you do to her?"

Doris: "Nothing. We just gave her a dress…"

Mae: "And a lot of liquor."

The girls bond at the Suds Bucket in this scene. Power hitter Marla Hooch (Megan Cavanagh) explores her feminine side by singing to an ardent suitor named Nelson. Marla's plain looks are a running joke, but she ends up marrying Nelson before the film is over.

Player: "Doris, is this your boyfriend?"

Doris: "Yup."

Player: "Is this out of focus?"

Doris: "No, that's how he looks."

Player: "Looks aren't important."

Doris: "No, the important thing is he's stupid, out of work, and he treats me bad."

Like Marla Hooch, Doris Murphy, played by Rosie O'Donnell, is a character that's played for laughs. Underneath that gruff exterior, though, lurks sensitivity and sadness. This scene on the bus offers insights into Doris and why she has a bad self-image even when two male fans admire her.

Jimmy: "You start using your head. That's that lump three feet above your ass."

Criticizing Ellen Sue Gotlander (Freddie Simpson) for throwing home while the team has a two-run lead, Jimmy uses this now classic line on the hapless player.

Jimmy: "Are you crying? Are you crying? There's no crying. There's no crying in baseball!"

Dugan's scolding causes Ellen Sue to burst into tears, leading to a second classic line.

Umpire: "A good rule of thumb: treat each of these girls like you would treat your mother."

Jimmy: "Your mother ever tell you that you look like a penis with a little hat on?"

Jimmy's criticism of Ellen Sue leads this exchange with the home plate umpire. Dugan's comments prompt his ejection from the game.

Steven Bryan first saw "A League of Their Own" in 1992 during its theatrical run. During a 2001 phone interview with Penny Marshall, the director told him that the film is shown so many times on television that it should have its own network.

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