There is only one thing that unites Texans who love the University of Texas and Texas A&M fans, and that is a strong dislike for OU. I, like all sane Texans, favor UT.
Here are 25 of the countless reasons to dislike A&M:
1: The A&M Fight Song Disses UT: A&M starts its fight song with chicken sounds (see #19), followed by "Goodbye to Texas University."
2: Aggies Cannot Say "UT": Aggies get mixed up about the order of the letters "UT," and insist that it is "TU."
3: Cult of Football/Two Percenter: Any A&M student who doesn't participate in Yell Practice, and other requisite Aggie events, is ostracized.
4: Yell Leaders: These guys must have a lot of charisma, as all Aggies are compelled to follow their lead.
5: Aggie Band: Up and down the field, walk through each other, zigzag, and repeat.
6: Aggie Whoop: Aggies have their own language, and "whoop" apparently means something to them.
7: Gig'em: This is tied in to the "whoop," so there it is.
8: Fish: Ags call freshmen "fish."
9: Fish Camp: Not to be confused with a Phish concert, this is a semi-optional indoctrination for freshmen.
10: A&M's Record Against UT: At 76-37-5, A&M never really held up its half of the rivalry.
11: Some Traditions Belong In The Past: A&M could offer a minor in school traditions.
12: Aggie Sway: Aggies sway back and forth in the stands after their fight song. This is annoying.
13: 12th Man: Come on, guys, he's just another player.
14: Reveille: A Collie dog mascot? Will she heard away the opposing team?
15: Aggie Bonfire: Another tradition? But that's a lot of wood to burn every year.
16: Howdy: Ags greet each other with "howdy." How quaint.
17: 12th Man Towels: Aggies wave towels, but why do they have to name them?
18: War Hymn: That's what everyone else calls a fight song.
19: "Hullabaloo Canek-Canek": The opening to the Aggie fight song, err, hymn (see #18). Just like "whoop," this doesn't make a bit of sense to anyone.
20: "Sit down, Bus Driver!": Yelled at opposing coaches when they argue a call. I'm not making this up.
21: Aggie Jokes: Many of these are quite crude, but even most Ags agree that these are actually a good thing.
22: Tea-Sip: Aggie derogatory term for UT students and alumni. The irony here: UT is not known for its teetotaling behavior.
23: Upside Down Horns: The Aggie reversal of the UT hand signal (Hook'em Horns--the only UT hand signal) is just annoying.
24: Aggie Refusal to Admit Defeat: Aggies say they never lose; they just run out of time. Perhaps they need a new watch?
25: A&M Ends Rivalry: For now, A&M has headed to the SEC, ending the UT-A&M rivalry. This won't change any feelings, however. I hope the two schools will play again. Until then, we will be united only by our extreme dislike of OU.
Skip Griffin is a lifelong Longhorn fan, and alumnus of UT Austin.
