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SummerSlam 2014 results: Rusev makes Jack Swagger pass out, for Russia!

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You stupid Americans.

Jack Swagger has lost to Rusev by way of passing the heck out, proving once and for all that the United States of America is a weak, diminishing power while Russia is the greatest nation in the world.

Because it's the 1950s, Russia is America's greatest enemy, and Jack Swagger is fighting to save us from Communism. Rusev, of course, wants to prove that Russia is the greatest nation in the world and that Americans are pathetic. Even though he's Bulgarian. And has been acknowledged as such on the show. This was a "flag match," meaning the flag of the winning wrestler would be raised above the ring.

Strangely, even though the American is obviously supposed to be the good guy in this scenario, the start to this match was a bit backwards. They brawled before the bell could be rung, with Swagger getting Rusev into the Patriot Lock, which injured him, but the match started anyway. Usually it's the bad guys inflicting the pre-match injuries to get an unfair advantage.

Eventually, that injury came into play. Rusev tried to lock in his finisher, the Accolade, but didn't have the strength in his ankle to get the proper leverage at first. But eventually, while looking like he was about to start sobbing, Rusev locked the move in fully. Swagger refused to tap and went to sleep.

Russia > USA, haters.

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