Pro Bowl to feature dodgeball event, what possibly could go wrong?!
The NFL has been grasping at straws for years to make the Pro Bowl meaningful, exciting and/or profitable — you decide which order means most to the league.
But now, folks, they might have broken on through to the other side. This finally could be the difference maker to restore the glory of Pro Bowl yore, whenever that actually was.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Pro Bowl is proud to announce … DODGEBALL.
Yes, that’s right: Coming to a palmy location perhaps not near you, the Pro Bowl will feature the sport that has been banned by most middle schools in what it’s calling “Epic Pro Bowl Dodgeball.” Even more hilarious is the league’s description of what will occur during this event, straight from its press release: “Pro Bowlers will compete in a game of dodgeball.”
Like, that’s all it said. Which is hilarious.
And we know a perfect coach for this team who is suddenly available for work. Besides, dodgeball is known for its mustaches. Jeff Fisher vs. Ben Stiller — please please please please please …
But of course, as our excitement starts to wear off slightly, we think about the potential downside of the event. Remember New England Patriots running back Robert Edwards, who suffered a career-altering injury during a beach football game at the 1999 Pro Bowl? Yeah, that was no damned good.
Of course, you don’t play dodgeball at beaches. (Or can you? The press release says nothing about it.) You just huck inflated rubber spheres at each other, and while there’s a lot of that happening on a football field, no quarterback is trying to maim anyone with his passes. Maybe Jay Cutler. But that’s it.
We picture Von Miller and, say, Richard Sherman getting a little too into this and causing a near melee in Orlando. Or maybe Matthew Stafford of strong-arm fame feels healthy enough to go down there and accidentally takes Darren Sproles’ head off, which would be sad and unfortunate.
But also entertaining. We might just DVR this bad boy.
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Eric Edholm is a writer for Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at edholm@yahoo-inc.com or follow him on Twitter!
