O Canada: Holiday gifts and stocking stuffers for the Great White North's seven NHL teams
Happy holidays, whether you’re lucky enough to be Tyler Bozak and perennially playing with Phil Kessel, or you’re living in Edmonton and, well, you know.
The budget was tight this year, so we just got one big gift for each of Canada’s seven NHL teams, plus a few stocking stuffers.
CALGARY FLAMES: The Gift of The Ghost of Christmas Past
Things were very merry in Calgary before a six-game losing streak (entering Friday night’s game versus Dallas), the Flames would like nothing better than a quick return to their winning ways.
Stocking stuffers…
Bob Hartley: A two-year extension for a coach in the middle of a six-game losing streak? Don’t get anything for Hartley, Christmas came early this year.
Mark Giordano: A spotlight, so one of the league’s most valuable players can get some well-deserved recognition.
Johnny Gaudreau: A second helping of turkey and stuffing, so the Calder candidate can one day grow into a full-on NHL star.
EDMONTON OILERS: The Gift of Hope
The Gift of Goaltending And Team Defence would also suffice and spread much holiday cheer for a franchise that so desperately needs it.
Stocking stuffers…
Kevin Lowe and Craig MacTavish: A plan that works would be the greatest gift of all.
Taylor Hall: Boughs of holly, for him to deck the naysayers with.
Oilers fans: A flux capacitor, a DeLorean and Michael J. Fox at the wheel.
MONTREAL CANADIENS: The Gift of Les Glorieux
There’s only one present they want in Montreal, it’s the same thing they ask for every year and it has the same initials as Santa Claus.
Stocking stuffers…
Carey Price: A three-goal lead every once in a while would be nice.
P.K. Subban: Maybe a new suit? He never seems to dress up…
Brendan Gallagher and Alex Galchenyuk: Elf hats.
OTTAWA SENATORS: The Gift of The Spirit of Saint Alfie
The Sens haven’t been the same since Daniel Alfredsson left, which makes sense given that they’re a young team and he was entrenched as the team’s leader for so long.
Stocking stuffers…
Erik Karlsson: A mug of eggnog sprinkled with a little more of that Norris mojo.
Bobby Ryan: Eight tiny reindeer, so he can drive the Senators’ sleigh.
Dave Cameron: One of those glasses-and-big-bushy-moustache disguises.
TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS: The Gift of Joy
There always seems to be angst in Toronto, even during their recent 10-1-1 run. Come on, you guys. Don’t worry. Be happy.
Stocking stuffers…
Phil Kessel: A karaoke machine.
Dion Phaneuf: Some of that love his captain predecessor Mats Sundin received sure would feel good.
David Clarkson: A 20-goal season.
VANCOUVER CANUCKS: The Gift of Rebirth
After years of contending, the Western power fell on tough times last season. It looked this group might be done as a Stanley Cup hopeful. But they’ve been revived, like a hockey version of a second coming.
Stocking stuffers…
Daniel and Henrik Sedin: If one of them would get a Mike Tyson face tattoo, that would be great. But just one of them.
Radim Vrbata: Don’t worry about him, he’s synched up with the Sedins and that’s the gift that keeps on giving.
Ryan Miller: Peace in the crease. Miller is near the top of the NHL in wins, but his save percentage and other such stats are nearer to the bottom. And with Eddie Lack playing well, there’s even rumblings of a goalie controversy in Vancouver.
WINNIPEG JETS: The Gift of Good Health
The Grinch has stolen the Jets’ top four defencemen ¬– and perhaps Winnipeg’s playoff hopes too.
Stocking stuffers…
Dustin Byfuglien and Mark Scheifele: Free spellcheck for life.
Michael Hutchinson: More starts.
Evander Kane: A puzzle, so he can finally put it all together.
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