MLB Power Rankings: It's fun with sample size
On Yordano Ventura’s chippy day, Kris Bryant’s near-mascot experience and a big birthday in Colorado:
The rankings (records through Wednesday’s games):
1. St. Louis Cardinals (14-6; Previous: 9) – Adam Wainwright’s injury becomes argument for DH in National League, because the two are completely unrelated and it’s 2015.
2. Kansas City Royals (14-7; Previous: 1) – You think that’s bad – on way to park, Yordano Ventura called out a school crossing guard, a Starbucks barista and two exceptionally mouthy nuns.
3. New York Mets (15-7; Previous: 10) – If the Mets do take over New York, first thing they’d do is sell off Staten Island for a shortstop.
4. Detroit Tigers (15-7; Previous: 2) – Tigers fans commence to booing Joe Nathan’s surgeon.
5. Houston Astros (14-7; Previous: 21) – Most of the players honestly have no idea what an Astro is, guess it’s sorta like an orange-ish Met.
6. Los Angeles Dodgers (13-8; Previous: 4) – Having dispatched radio host in foot race, Adrian Gonzalez challenges Vin Scully to push-up contest.
7. Chicago Cubs (12-8; Previous: 12) – Kris Bryant nearly trampled by Reds mascot. As so often happens with top-end rookies, if they don’t get a big head, a big head gets them.
8. New York Yankees (13-9; Previous: 24) – Bernie Williams retires, but first has to be reminded from what.
9. Pittsburgh Pirates (12-10; Previous: 19) – Pirates last in NL in on-base percentage, explain that it’s kind of cold and rainy out there.
10. Tampa Bay Rays (12-10; Previous: 16) – Rays learn they’ll get nothing in return for Maddon other than, you know, Cash.
11. Boston Red Sox (12-10; Previous: 3) – Pedro Martinez says he passed on steroids after learning “your nipples may grow, or your genitals may get damaged.” Had it been reversed, however, might have considered it.
12. Colorado Rockies (11-10; Previous: 5) – Coors Field is 20 years old. In one more year, it can drink itself.
13. Toronto Blue Jays (10-12; Previous: 6) – Blue Jays should have stuck with their instincts and not gone for the Velcro turf.
14. San Diego Padres (11-12; Previous: 7) – Matt Kemp playing so well Padres think Dodgers ought to give him a raise.
15. Los Angeles Angels (10-11; Previous: 14) – Angels disappointed Hamilton wasn’t more gracious. Speaks for itself.
16. Baltimore Orioles (10-10; Previous: 13) – So quiet at Camden Yards you could hear Jeff Samardzija’s stock drop.
17. Atlanta Braves (10-11; Previous: 11) – Fredi Gonzalez lauds his men for not mailing it in, though it was on a Sunday, so …
18. Oakland Athletics (9-13; Previous: 8) – Hit Brett Lawrie three times, get a stuffed bear with cool tattoos.
19. Cincinnati Reds (10-11; Previous: 15) – Rose permitted to participate in any and all All-Star Game events. He picks managing.
20. Miami Marlins (10-12; Previous: 23) – Jeffrey Loria tired of “palace intrigue,” tells reporters to get off his lawn.
21. Seattle Mariners (10-11; Previous: 26) – Lloyd McClendon on rocky landing in Dallas: “Any flight that you can talk about is a good flight.” McClendon on a Nelson Cruz home run: See above.
22. Chicago White Sox (8-10; Previous: 25) – Chris Sale attempts to rush Kansas City clubhouse to take on Ventura. Kilt and face paint were a little over the top.
23. Arizona Diamondbacks (10-11; Previous: 18) – Kirk Gibson lookin’ back-door slider.
24. Minnesota Twins (9-12; Previous: 30) – Paul Molitor notes Twins are “hungry for good starting pitching,” settles for in-between snack Caleb Thielbar.
25. Washington Nationals (9-13; Previous: 17) – Doormat-itude.
26. San Francisco Giants (9-13; Previous: 27) – Even after poor start in Colorado, right-handed Chris Heston still leads team in NRA.
27. Cleveland Indians (7-13; Previous: 20) – TJ House, at 0-3, sort of disproves that old Las Vegas theory.
28. Texas Rangers (7-14; Previous: 22) – By next week, that video Hamilton sent to Michael Young will be of his daughter’s birthday party.
29. Philadelphia Phillies (8-14; Previous: 28) – Phillies think they could really use some games against the Brewers, ’cause the rest of this really isn’t working out.
30. Milwaukee Brewers (5-17; Previous: 29) – Scooter Gennett cut himself. In the shower. That’s the last time he uses the spiked loofah.
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