Buzzing on Yahoo Sports:

MLB Power Rankings: Cards still doing things right

Tim Brown
Yahoo Sports

View photo

.

Yadier Molina, far right, and the Cardinals have plenty to celebrate right now. (AP Photo)

On living upwind of the Oakland A’s, a proliferation of doubles, Sisyphus, NSA tactics and what else has been slipped into Vladimir Putin’s pocket.

The rankings (records through Wednesday):

St. Louis
1. St. Louis Cardinals (46-26; Previous: 1) – In NL, Cards first in runs, second in ERA, first in fielding, but somewhere in middle of pack in "play well with others" and "personal hygiene."


Cincinnati
2. Cincinnati Reds (44-29; Previous: 4) – Dusty Baker attends Stanley Cup Final game, gets a better idea for Garza-Cueto conflict.


Boston
3. Boston Red Sox (44-30; Previous: 6) – In celebration of walkoff home run, Gomes punts batting helmet. The .209 hitter might have outkicked his coverage there.


Atlanta
4. Atlanta Braves (43-30; Previous: 2) – Upton family participates in Father’s Day first-pitch ceremony. Was very sweet, until B.J. swung through dad’s inside fastball.


Pittsburgh
5. Pittsburgh Pirates (42-30; Previous: 5) – Gerrit Cole beats former Cy Young Award winners (Lincecum, Greinke) in first two starts, is hoping from here to match up with a couple Comeback Players of the Year, maybe a Lady Byng recipient.


Oakland
6. Oakland Athletics (43-31; Previous: 7) – Maintenance workers cleaning up sewage at O.co determine backup caused by long-term buildup of red tape.


Baltimore
7. Baltimore Orioles (42-31; Previous: 10) – O’s get printout of pitching matchups for Blue Jays series: Dickey, Wang, Johnson. Think maybe it’s time to fire that silly intern.


Detroit
8. Detroit Tigers (39-31; Previous: 11) – Leyland on O’s young third baseman: “Machado leads the league in doubles. I’m second in doubles – double vodkas, double scotches …” … Double bogeys.


Texas
9. Texas Rangers (40-32; Previous: 3) – Rangers take long, hard look at themselves after losing four at home to Blue Jays. Wonder, “Do these sliding pants make my butt look big?”


Arizona
10. Arizona Diamondbacks (39-33; Previous: 9) – Scientists continue to study possibility a D'backs-Dodgers tussle in Australia would spiral downward in opposite direction.


New York
11. New York Yankees (39-32; Previous: 8) – Cashman compares club’s efforts to that of Sisyphus, a Greek mythology figure sentenced to a life of putting runners on base, only to leave them there, over and over.


San Francisco
12. San Francisco Giants (37-34; Previous: 14) – Giants agree to let A’s go to San Jose, primarily because it’s downwind.


San Diego
13. San Diego Padres (36-36; Previous: 19) – Indiana guy Stults admits he played many imaginary games of one-on-one in driveway against Michael Jordan. Reveals that fake Jordan tended to push off, too.


Colorado
14. Colorado Rockies (37-36; Previous: 15) – Rockies haven’t pitched a complete game since 2011, mostly because of strong union and liberal guidelines for snack breaks.


Tampa Bay
15. Tampa Bay Rays (37-35; Previous: 12) – David Price has a dog named “Astro.” He’s not much of a dog now, but, damn, in three or four years…


Cleveland
16. Cleveland Indians (36-35; Previous: 13) – That’ll teach Chris Perez to get an Airemail Terrier.



Toronto
17. Toronto Blue Jays (35-36; Previous: 23) – If U.S. government is really intent on monitoring citizens’ private information, Blue Jays suggest it put a man with a two-way radio in a center-field hotel room. Really simpler that way.


Kansas City
18. Kansas City Royals (34-36; Previous: 25) – Royals slather heroes in barbecue sauce, then char them exactly eight minutes on each side, serve with slaw.


Washington
19. Washington Nationals (35-36; Previous: 16) – Werth, on playing through the noise: “That’s all part of being a big leaguer. … You’ve got to show up tomorrow ready to eat somebody’s face.” See, this is where the barbecue sauce comes in.


Philadelphia
20. Philadelphia Phillies (35-38; Previous: 17) – Phanatic four-wheeler breaks down, decides that in Philly it’s not a good idea to call for a Tose truck.


Minnesota
21. Minnesota Twins (32-36; Previous: 18) – Wilkin Ramirez initially angry that he’d been placed on concussion DL. But, by the next day, he’d forgotten all about it.


Los Angeles
22. Los Angeles Angels (32-40; Previous: 22) – Scioscia pretty sure NSA has been listening in on Angels’ team strategy meetings, which, you know, would explain a lot.


Los Angeles
23. Los Angeles Dodgers (30-40; Previous: 20) – Puig announces he’d rather not address reporters after losses, which would explain postgame’s “The Cuban’s Missing Crisis.”


Seattle
24. Seattle Mariners (32-41; Previous: 24) – Mariners and Pirates play next week. Winner gets grog and wenches.


Chicago
25. Chicago White Sox (29-40; Previous: 21) – White Sox so rarely get on base that base coaches have started wearing name tags.


Milwaukee
26. Milwaukee Brewers (29-41; Previous: 26) – Looking like Brewers will be sellers at trading deadline, as Melvin staples signs to telephone poles all over neighborhood.


New York
27. New York Mets (27-41; Previous: 27) – Ladies of Cougar Life think David Wright’s season looks pretty good from a distance, but you probably wouldn’t want to wake up with it.


Chicago
28. Chicago Cubs (29-41; Previous: 28) – Darwin Barney ponders whether .214 batting average might get him into top 20 of MLB’s hottest cubs.


Houston
29. Houston Astros (27-46; Previous: 29) – Many of young Astros’ fathers in stands for Sunday’s game. Of course, somebody had to drive the players to ballpark.


Miami
30. Miami Marlins (22-49; Previous: 30) – In an unusual coincidence, Vladimir Putin, thinking it was a gift, also stole Marlins’ credibility.


Related content on Yahoo! Sports:
Jay Bruce's big plays power Reds past Pirates
Starlin Castro upset after Shane Robinson's takeout slide
Kate Upton slights Justin Verlander in happy birthday tweet to his buddy

Sign up for Yahoo Fantasy Football
View Comments (111)