Food for thought: Moss' favorite team tops chart

There's a new team at the top of our weekly list of incisive inquiries, and I can think of one person in particular who'll be thrilled by the development.

I'm talking about former Vikings, Raiders, Patriots and (as of Tuesday) Vikings wideout and noted food critic Randy Moss(notes).

Moss may not appreciate Tinucci's chicken and ribs, but he clearly finds the idea of Bill Belichick's Pats holding down the top spot to be utterly delectable. That was obvious after the Patriots' 28-18 victory over the Vikings on Sunday when Moss, in the question-free monologue he delivered to reporters, heaped praise upon the franchise that had traded him to Minnesota less than a month earlier.

"I actually salute Coach Belichick and his team for the success that they have had before me, during me and after me," Moss said, taking the personal pronoun to a strange and uncharted place. "So I am actually stuck for words, just because there are a lot of memories here. … You know, I can't say enough about this team and this organization. … I don't know how many more times I am going to be up here in New England, but I am going to leave the New England Patriots and Coach Belichick with a salute: I love you guys. I miss you. I'm out."

Count me in – the Pats are the best team in football right now, and the decision to get rid of Moss played a significant role in helping them get there. I'm not sure how long their reign will last, as New England faces the Steelers and Colts in consecutive weeks during November, but the Patriots should keep improving, and they definitely have my attention.

While I have yours, let's dust off our favorite punctuation mark and work our way down a food chain that even Moss wouldn't dare berate:

1. New England Patriots: Why do I have this vision of Logan Mankins(notes) and Robert Kraft embracing under a storm of confetti and insisting that there was never any beef between them?

2. Baltimore Ravens: What made Ozzie Newsome more nervous – nearly losing to the Bills, or having to justify his dubious defense of Elvis Grbac's quarterbacking credentials to Trent Dilfer(notes)?

3. Pittsburgh Steelers: The next time the Steelers prepare for a road game in a dome, why do I get the feeling Mike Tomlin will be making as much noise on the practice field as 70,000 Saints fans did Sunday night?

4. New York Jets: Did Father Time pick an inopportune time to go rushing off on his own – and should he consider getting a watch with a pedometer?

5. Indianapolis Colts: Who's hotter after dark – Hugh Hefner and friends or Peyton Manning(notes) and friends?

6. New York Giants: Why do I get the feeling that Shaun O'Hara(notes) considers this film a horror flick?

7. Atlanta Falcons: How much smack will these guys talk if they beat the Bucs on Sunday?

8. Green Bay Packers: Is it just me, or does Mike McCarthy's man love for punter Tim Masthay(notes) seem a tad over the top?

9. New Orleans Saints: Does any defensive player appear to end up with the ball in his hands more effortlessly than Darren Sharper(notes)?

10. Tennessee Titans: When Jeff Fisher learned the severity of his emerging second-year wideout's hamstring injury, did he throw a Britt fit?

11. Philadelphia Eagles: If Andy Reid texted Mike Shanahan this week, what are the odds he ended the message with "LOL"?

12. Miami Dolphins: Considering they've only lost to teams in the top four of my current rankings, is it possible these guys are a lot better than we realize?

Flowers forces a fumble in last week's win over the Bills.
(Crystal LoGiudice/US Presswire)

13. Kansas City Chiefs: Is Brandon Flowers(notes) the NFL's most underrated cornerback?

14. Houston Texans: In the wake of Monday night's shell-shocked performance in Indy, will Bob McNair be passing out performance-enhancing drugs in the Texans' locker room this week?

15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Is it time to come up with a nickname for their secondary – and does anyone have any bright ideas?

16. Washington Redskins: Did anyone consult Roxie McNabb about Mike Shanahan's assertion that her husband lacks "cardiovascular endurance" in the two-minute drill?

17. Chicago Bears: When the Bears line up on the opponents' 1-yard line, does the end zone look like it's 99 yards away?

18. Oakland Raiders: Has any team in football been more impressive over the past two weeks – and, given their recent dominance, how did they possibly lose to the 49ers?

19. Seattle Seahawks: After giving up eight sacks to the Raiders, will they give up twice that many to the Giants on Sunday?

20. St. Louis Rams: How scary is it to consider that, with a little luck and some better finishing skills, this team could be 7-1?

21. Minnesota Vikings: How desperately does this team need Sidney Rice(notes) to return – and by the time the receiver gets back onto the field, will it be too late?

22. San Diego Chargers: Why does the idea of Norv Turner channeling Marty "Cry Me A River" Schottenheimer make me laugh?

23. Detroit Lions: Is Ndamukong Suh(notes) already one of the league's best defensive tackles – and how scary is it that an interior lineman is on pace to match Jevon Kearse's(notes) rookie sack total?

24. Cincinnati Bengals: When a team has six sacks in seven games, is it any surprise that it has five defeats?

25. Arizona Cardinals: Did I just imagine it, or before throwing the late interception that sealed a defeat to the Bucs, did Derek Anderson(notes) point to Larry Fitzgerald(notes) and announce, "I'm throwing it to No. 11"?

26. Jacksonville Jaguars: Is David Garrard(notes) that prolific, or are the Cowboys simply that horrific?

27. Cleveland Browns: When Braylon Edwards(notes) bemoaned the arrogance of his fellow Jets receivers, how many former teammates laughed at the irony?

28. Dallas Cowboys: Quit much?

29. San Francisco 49ers: Is Lights Out coming to the city of "Lights"?

30. Denver Broncos: Was Sunday's devastating illegal-block penalty the most significant moment of Jarvis Moss'(notes) NFL career – and shouldn't he have learned to avoid such mistakes back at Denton Ryan High School?

31. Carolina Panthers: Is Steve Smith getting close to punching himself in the face?

32. Buffalo Bills: If Ryan Succop's(notes) field-goal attempt at the end of overtime had missed, would the winless Bills have celebrated the tie?