Fitness Fail Friday: The People of Planet Fitness

Dustin Brady
Planet Fitness
Planet Fitness

Pointing out fitness fails at Planet Fitness is like tweeting dumb quotes during The Bachelor. It’s fun for a bit, but the sheer volume of insanity quickly gets depressing.

However, this is Fitness Fail Friday, and we’re dedicated to bringing you the best fitness fails from around the Web, no matter where they occur. That includes the purple judgment-free zone that is Planet Fitness.

We understand that STACK readers do not fall within the target demographic of Planet Fitness. Planet Fitness is for gym newbies who don’t get along with meatheads, protein and clanging weights. STACK is for dedicated athletes who train with exercises that get you banned from Planet Fitness. So when we point out the fails at Planet Fitness, it could feel like a big jock picking on a little guy. Two reasons why that’s not the case:

  • The author of this article is an uncoordinated, 135-pound pale guy with arms that can be described as “noodley.” I cannot make fun of Planet Fitness patrons because they are my people.
  • In true Planet Fitness fashion, we are not judging these folks. We are celebrating them.

So, in the most judgment-free way possible, we present the six people you find at Planet Fitness.

The Amusement Park Enthusiast

When the cheapest ticket to Disney World costs $92, sometimes you have to look for bargains. Fortunately for amusement park enthusiasts, all the world’s a ride. And $10 for AN ENTIRE MONTH of rides is quite a steal.

The Rockette

Where do you go when you’re surrounded by family and friends who don’t appreciate your dance moves? The Judgment-Free Zone, of course. Elaine Benes, take note.

Sexy Pants

Working out makes us all feel a little sexier. Some just feel it more than others.

The Cable Guy

Not sure what to do with all the cable machines at Planet Fitness? Just follow the Cable Guy around for a day. He’s got this.

The Show-Off

Even though he’s in a Judgment-Free Zone, the Show-Off knows he’s secretly being judged by how much weight he moves. So he may not have perfect form on every rep, but he sure does lift a lot of weight!

The Scofflaw

Planet Fitness famously has a “Lunk Alarm,” which goes off when people do things like drop weights on the ground or grunt. Most citizens of Planet Fitness take the Lunk Alarm quite seriously, but from time to time, a scofflaw get his jollies by sneaking in, setting off the Lunk Alarm and getting kicked out. Scofflaw, we do not celebrate you. Consider yourself judged.

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This article originally appeared on Fitness Fail Friday: The People of Planet Fitness