The video features Grantland's Chris Ryan interviewing Bennett as a part of a game show entitled "Tough Calls," where the contestant is forced to choose between two not-so-favorable life choices.
The link to the video can be found here: Anthony Bennett's Tough Calls. And it is definitely worth a watch.
The rookie is asked some pretty hilarious and thought-provoking questions by Ryan in the segment, and fans get to learn a lot about the newcomer's thought process. As always, I'm here to break down this extremely important development.
ROUND ONE: "For the rest of your professional sporting career, you have to be either a hockey player or a jockey in the Kentucky Derby. Anthony Bennett, make the tough call."
- BENNETT'S RESPONSE: "Am I missing a couple teeth (if I pick the hockey player)?"
- RYAN: "That's a possibility."
- BENNETT: "And I have to dress (in a traditional jockey uniform) if I pick the jockey?"
- RYAN: "At least on top of a horse you do, yeah."
- BENNETT: "Oh, man, um, I'll go with the hockey player."
WHAT WE LEARNED: Bennett is more concerned about his style than his teeth. I like that. Also, let's just pretend that he was looking out for the well-being of race horses across America.
ROUND TWO: "For the rest of your life, you have to go around with (Kevin Garnett) following you while he screams at you, or you have to walk around with David Stern following you around, staring at you. Make the tough call."
- BENNETT'S RESPONSE: "Oh man, um..."
- RYAN: "David Stern's not going to be commissioner for much longer, so feel free to answer however you want."
- BENNETT: "But he still plays a big part (laughs). I'll go with KG."
WHAT WE LEARNED: Bennett is more creeped out by Stern than he is scared of Kevin Garnett. That speaks volumes. Can't say I would've chosen the same; Garnett has been known to cross the line. Although, the prospect of Stern's eyes never leaving me makes me very uncomfortable. Truly a great question.
ROUND THREE: "You could win the MVP Award, but as a consequence you would have to dress like Craig Sager for the rest of your life."
- BENNETT'S RESPONSE: "Ohhh maaaan. I mean, it's his style man, you can't knock his style, but ... MVP?"
- RYAN: "Yeah, MVP of the league ... OF THE NBA."
- BENNETT: "I have to dress like that forever?
- RYAN: "Yes, you do."
- BENNETT: "All right, I'm gonna have to turn that (the MVP) down."
WHAT WE LEARNED: A lot. We learned a lot here. First off, Bennett really likes saying "Oh man," and his sense of style is extremely important to him. Also, the prospect of dressing like a human Easter egg for the rest of his life is terrible enough for him to turn down a free MVP trophy. Let's not over analyze this: Bennett still wants to be a great player, and he was just playing along and being honest. I can respect that.
ROUND FOUR: *Immediate gut laugh from Bennett at the on-screen graphic* "You have to choose between getting dunked on by Nate Robinson, or having your eyebrows taken off."
- BENNETT: "Daaaamn (laughs)."
- RYAN: "There is definitely a right answer for this."
- BENNETT: "There isn't, man."
- RYAN: "Yes there is."
- BENNETT: "Nah."
- RYAN: "Dig deep!"
- BENNETT: "Because if you get dunked on, (Robinson) is screaming at you just like that."
- RYAN: "Yes, Little Hulk."
- BENNETT: "In your face, I'm pretty sure he'll get mad. And no eyebrows man? That's wild."
- RYAN: "You cannot pass on this one."
- BENNETT: "Yo, this is tough. This is really a tough call right here. I'll go with no eyebrows, man."
WHAT WE LEARNED: Bennett, like most other NBA players, considers getting dunked on to be comparable to dying. They'd all choose almost anything over getting posterized. Also, he doesn't like conflict. And he realized that eyebrows are key to looking like a normal human, yet he could still live without them if it meant not getting dunked on. Logical.
In summation, Anthony Bennett seems like a pretty normal, amiable dude. So if he does turn out to be a bust like some have prematurely dubbed him, that makes it all OK, right?
No? Oh, well, it's not like the Cavs could have had a dynamic, surefire scorer in place of him (sigh).
Let's appreciate this for what it is: a work of art.
Alex Marcheschi is a senior at the E.W. Scripps School of Journalism at Ohio University who regularly watches the Cavs on FSN Ohio. Get buckets.
- Sports & Recreation
- David Stern
- Kevin Garnett