Unlike most 18-year-olds, Quinta Funderburk never has to worry about looking, sounding or being cool. For one thing, he's already done with the high school stuff, graduating early to enroll at Arkansas for the spring semester. For another, his name is Quinta Funderburk, already immortalized as one of the greatest monikers of 2011 by the official arbiter of excellence in human nomenclature, the Name of the Year tournament. (Quinta is a three seed, in fact, still awaiting his first-round showdown with the formidable "Orel Oral" in the Crotchtangle Region.)
In case you don't read Graffonti, the complete text of Funderburk's head reads "Razorbacks #5," accentuated with a pair of classic "fishhook" sideburns. He also had "Razorbacks" printed on a scarlet vest, for good measure. His date? Seemed cool with it. (The white sneakers to go with his blazing white tux? Maybe not so much.)
And as for those rumors that Funderburk was giving up football after missing a few practices last month? I don't think Hog fans have to worry about that.