Dr. Saturday - NCAAF

We do not recognize your puny mortal logic. Pete Carroll is not a computer guy. And it's hard to blame him, really, when the computers in the initial BCS standings rank USC 10th -- five spots behind the Ohio State team the Trojans routed 35-3 a month ago:

“How does that happen?” USC coach Pete Carroll said Sunday, when the standings were released. “Nice system.”

When asked whether USC’s 10th-place position in the computer rankings concerned him, Carroll said: “What would I be concerned about? Do you think I’m holding my breath over winning the national championship because of the BCS? We have no control over that thing.”

Carroll did not express rage against the machines so much as bewilderment.

“I don’t even know how it works,” he said. “It’s a computer. We’re talking about it like it’s a person.

“It’s a machine, dude. I know nothing.”

Actually, coach, people are guiding the machines -- inputs and algorithms and so forth, and a baffling, human-mandated ignorance of margin of victory -- but are you suggesting we should, like, settle this on the field or something? Carroll could have come up with his own BCS algorithm on the sideline Saturday, since he had no idea how to avoid running up the score on Washington State.

Loose lips sink pundits. The first rule of modern debate is "Keep Hitler out of it," because nothing derails an argument or scratches the record faster than invoking the Führer. Lou Holtz learned that the hard way when he dropped the H-Bomb in reference to Rich Rodriguez on Friday, setting off a minor flurry of bloggy speculation, and was forced to apologize on Saturday. Obviously, he was around all day Saturday, and nothing else is expected to happen to him. Hey -- that's just Lou!

There's not much to this, specifically -- neither the reference nor the apology is even on YouTube, if that's any barometer -- except that it's the second on-air apology Holtz has been forced to make in as many weeks. One of the signs at GameDay in Austin said "Lou Hath a Potty Mouth," which isn't exactly true, since he hasn't actually used a word on-air that you can't use on-air. It's coming, though. You know it's coming. And three strikes at the axe-happy Worldwide Leader ...

Presentable in Pink. New Mexico State, inspired by Wendy Testaburger's impassioned report on breast cancer earlier in the week, pinked it up Saturday against San Jose State as the culmination of its "Tough Enough to Wear Pink" fundraising campaign, inspired by Hal Mumme's wife, June, a breast cancer survivor:

Fluffy symbolism and more hardcore check-writing didn't help the Aggies at all against the Spartans: San Jose won, 31-14, putting a major crimp in NMSU's distant bowl ambitions.

The vigil of campus police never ends. Georgia's annual cavalcade of misdemeanor traffic arrests rolled on in classic form after the Bulldogs' win over Vanderbilt, when defensive tackle Brandon Wood was arrested for DUI and injured offensive lineman Vince Vance was booked for driving with a suspended license in separate incidents.

Athens Police must have some kind of Bat/Dawg Signal that alerts them to the tiniest vehicular infraction by UGA footballers: Vance was pulled over because he "didn't stop very well at a stop sign," according to Mark Richt, while Wood, who is 21, was "parked while waiting to pick up his girlfriend and her friend" and forgot to turn his headlights lights on when he pulled out. Raise your hand if you've been there, man. Keep it up if you were suspended for Saturday's LSU game, too, and you know exactly what the kid is going through.

Quickly ... Alabama man-mountain Terrence Cody is confident he'll be back from a bad-looking knee injury Saturday. . . . Florida was livid about some media comments before its blowout over LSU. "That's good," said Urban Meyer, adding, "Let you hate fill you ..." . . . Texas is everybody's darling, for at least a week. . . . Syracuse running back Curtis Brinkley isn't sending a Christmas card to South Florida's defense. . . . And Maryland's season, back on track? Hilarious!

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