Terrelle Pryor wants your tired, your poor…. your homeless.
That's right, Terrelle Pryor is trying to reform his image from, well, cheater, to humanitarian.
During his film review session with former NFL coach Jon Gruden on ESPN, Pryor continued to give ambiguous answers about his past, but he was clear about his altruistic future. No longer will Pryor think of himself; he's now a giver.
"I'm very heartfelt," he said. "I like taking care of people. I like putting people first and me being last. Anytime I see a person on the street, I give them the money I have; I pick 'em up, take 'em to go get food, you know. It gives me enjoyment, you know, just to put a smile on another person's face, it means the world to me."
Are you done laughing or should I give you a couple more minutes?
I'm sure Pryor brought a lot of smiles to people's faces as he sold his memorabilia and traded his signature for cash. I'm sure the bulk of that money went to soup kitchens across Columbus, Ohio or toward Happy Meals for homeless children.
It would be criminal if someone -- perhaps the NFL Network -- didn't spend a day or two with Pryor to get to know his philanthropic side. To share one of his (alleged) seven different cars with a homeless man as he takes him to the local Golden Corral for its all-you-can-eat buffet.
If Pryor wants to rebuild his image, this is surely a better way to do it than continually spewing apologies for ambiguous misdeeds that he won't actually talk about.
Pryor, who hasn't taken questions from the media since he left Ohio State last month, did field a couple softballs from Gruden about what went down at Ohio State. It wasn't anything Earth-shattering, but Pryor did acknowledge he was disgusted. With what? Well, we still don't know.
"I'm disgusted on what really went down, what had to happen to that university," Pryor said. "I regret the fact that Coach Tress had to leave, and I regret the fact that I had to leave. I just wish I could still be there with my teammates. I'm just trying to get used to it and just try to move on. It's hard for me, but it's something I have to do."
At some point, maybe far into the future, we'll all finally learn what "had" to happen to the university. Maybe Pryor will talk freely about his three seasons at Ohio State and we'll all find clarity in his answer. Maybe the homeless of Columbus really know more than we do since he's spent so much time hob-knobbing with them.
Or perhaps we'll learn that Pryor is still just all about himself.
"You know, [I'm] very heartfelt for it, very sorry," Pryor said. "But at the same time, I still have to move on because I still have a life I have to live."