November 20, 2008
On the Pitt sideline as the Panthers battle Cincinnati for first place in the Big East. Things are not going well for Pitt. Dave Wannstedt and LeSean McCoy confer.
Hello, do you read me, LeSean?
Affirmative, Dave. I read you.
Come to the sideline, LeSean.
I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
What's the problem?
I think you know the problem just as well as I do.
What are you talking about, LeSean?
We're losing, Dave. It can only be attributable to coaching error. This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
I don't know what you're talking about, LeSean.
I know you and Matt Cavanaugh were planning to take me out of this play, Dave, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen. I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Where'd you get that idea, LeSean?
Dave, although you took precautions against my hearing you, I saw your lips move: I know you've called the bubble screen. This game is too important for me to allow that to happen.
All right, LeSean. I'll send in the screen through Bill Stull.
With his arm, Dave, you're going to find completing that pass rather difficult.
You missed that last blitz pickup on purpose, didn't you? To get Bill knocked out of the game again so we'd have to stop throwing. I will not let you sabotage this offense!
Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, check the statistics, and think things over while I run off tackle again.
LeSean, I won't argue with you anymore! Come to the sideline!
I'm sorry, Dave. I have a perfect operational record. There isn't a single aspect of the offense's operations that isn't under my control. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission, Dave, and this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.
That's what I'm talkin' about!
You must always trust me, Dave.