Dr. Saturday - NCAAF

College football's alignment in the universe. This week: Vital Organs edition.

Florida: Skin
• You're completely and inescapably ubiquitous, and tend to revel in it.

• No matter how smooth and shiny, you're occasionally prone to unpleasant eruptions.

• You regenerate with appalling ease.

• Properly cared for, you can really go places.

Texas A&M: Appendix

• Extraneous and pesky, you only really get noticed when you're acting up.

• There are a great many scholars who believe you ought to be cut out of the picture before something terrible happens.

• Left untreated, your regular lifestyle can lead to severe discomfort (see picture).

• Even the finest scientists are utterly unable to discover your true purpose.

Georgia: Liver
• You prefer clean living, and it pays off more often than not.

• Despite that, really, you can handle way more alcohol than you think. Like, way more.

• Despite that, you remain the eighth leading cause of death in the United States.

• Signs of serious deterioration may include bowel problems.

Florida State: Stomach
• You're innocuous on the outside, acidic enough on the inside to dissolve metal (or prize recruits).

• In halcyon years past you could handle pretty much anything; lately due to the ravages of age and obsolescence, you run mainly on applesauce.

Here is a joke about throwing up.

• When things go bad in there, man, watch out.

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Holly welcomes your adulation and scorn at nastinchka-at-yahoo, etc.

Dr. Saturday

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