The Dagger - NCAAB

Off in the distance, a child smiles. And Tyler knows his work here is done.

We're not really in the habit of poking a blogger's typically sharp sticks toward mainstream writers, because honestly, we can all get along. I like everybody. Except for ... well, nevermind. So it is in polite fun, and certainly not derision, that I point you to this absolutely hilarious Associated Press profile of Tyler Hansbrough. The main point of the profile: Tyler Hansbrough is the best person in the world. He's handsome, funny, selfless, really good at basketball, and loves the smiles of small children.

Of course I'm not saying any of these things aren't true. Just that, all put together, they read like a want ad, or the introductory chapter in a romance novel:

Frasor describes Hansbrough as the guy who tells “terrible” jokes and has a “strange” sense of humor, who has the “weirdest” taste in music and even dances while listening to—of all things—the ’80s song “Puttin’ on the Ritz” on his iPod.

Hansbrough, on track to graduate with a degree in communication studies, shares an offcampus house with Frasor and senior Marcus Ginyard, along with former team manager and since-graduated Preston Puckett. His family’s financial stability—his father, Gene, is an orthopedic surgeon—took out the monetary need to leave school, especially for a guy described by his father as someone who “doesn’t need Rolexes and Escalades to be a happy person.”

He's totally goofy and has a great sense of humor and he's not materialistic at all. Interested yet, ladies? Read on. It gets better.

Still, Frasor said Hansbrough handles his celebrity well. He has seen how diners in area restaurants turn for a glimpse or whisper to each other when the hard-to-miss forward is in the room. He noticed when Hansbrough left several of his awards in the cab of his late-model pickup truck for a stretch while others were tucked away in his closet instead of being on display.

He's humble and down to earth! He's not caught up in his own success! He's adorably absent-minded! TYLER I LOVE YOU HAVE MY CHILDREN.

Then there’s the endless autograph requests, including one in which he signed a TV remote control because that’s all the seeker had handy. Not that Hansbrough seems to mind; he was once the eager youngster trying to get player autographs while attending basketball camps at Three Rivers Community College in his hometown of Poplar Bluff, Mo. The thrill he felt each time he got one keeps him signing just about everything to return the favor—particularly for children.

Tyler doesn't need the daredevil stunts, or the women, or the fancy trappings that come with fame and success. He just needs the smile of a child. That's all he needs ... to be happy.*Swoon.*

Again, maybe all of these things are true, and maybe Tyler Hansbrough is literally a perfect person -- full of mirth, dignified, super-duper in every way. I'm cool with that. But it's important to take notice of a rising trend that will only get worse in Hansbrough's senior season: the fawning. It's coming, people. Get ready. You thought sportswriters loved Brett Favre? Pshh. You ain't seen nothing yet.

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