About the only entertaining aspect of the NCAA men's basketball championship game was listening to Clark Kellogg stumble his way through the broadcast while throwing in random home-spun phrases. Kellogg's first tournament as CBS's lead color analyst wasn't a disaster, but it surely wasn't a success either. Instead of rehashing all of that again, The Dagger has compiled Kellogg's five most ridiculous lines of the evening:
Honorable mention: "Sharrying the sugar we call it." -- After Carolina bench player Bobby Frasor hit a three late in the game, Kellogg delivered this malaprop. I guess he meant "sharing". Even then, it still doesn't make sense.
5) "I didn't know if I could get any more excited, but I am amped up two more levels for tonight's action." -- This was Kellogg's first line of the night, said during the pre-game stand-up with Jim Nantz. You'd think he'd have his opening line scripted. My question is, how did he determine that his excitement was amped up by two levels? Why not one? Or three? Or ten? Do you think he keeps a detailed chart of his excitement level that's like: "Level 1: Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue comes out. Level 2: Christmas Eve. Level 3: Billy Packer says "game over" in national semifinal. Level 4: Roget's Thesaurus comes out with yearly update."
4) "Michigan State wants to get a good shot every trip." -- As opposed to the teams that try to get a good shot on every other trip.
3) "[It's important for MSU] to really getting back defensively even after UNC has scored. Because UNC will push that ball up your back, even after a made field goal by an opponent." -- No comment needed. Except maybe this.
2) "That was a lower body root canal." -- That came after Tyler Hansbrough out-worked Raymar Morgan for a rebound. The more I listen to Kellogg, the more he sounds like Dan Rather. If some forged documents come out that say Mike Krzyzewski once skipped out of a basketball camp early, we'll know who to blame.
1) "They are the epitome of the spurtability team." -- Eat your heart out, Emmitt Smith.