November 03, 2011
Don't you give me that "Oh, really?" face, Kyrie Irving(notes). You knew that Viking helmet was stone-cold busted the minute you picked it up at the 99-cent store, but you were like, "It'll be funny, because, like, I'm only half-horny." And then you high-fived a dude named Bryse or whatever and headed to Cameron Indoor for the epic tilt against Shaw. I know you're not getting NBA paper yet, dude, but you're the No. 1 pick. Act as if and get your helmet game right, pronto.
Best caption wins the kind of helmet that Kyrie should be wearing, all things considered. Good luck.
In our last adventure: INTO THE PAST! Pro tip: When Stephon Marbury(notes) tells you that he "sees the big picture," double-check real quick to see if he is holding a novelty-size magnifying glass behind his back.
Winner, Ian: Caution: May stick hand to face.
Runner-up, Seb, Sebass: "Circle? No. Square? No. Star? No. Pentagon? No ... wait ... 'Starbury.' Yes, a star on my head would look sick."
NOTE: If you guys need me, I'll be spending the rest of the day imagining Stephon Marbury heatedly discussing Pokemon with a group of 11-year-olds, thanks.