Thu Mar 17 11:15am EDT
I don't care how quickly or intensely you come on the double, Stephen Curry(notes) and Andris Biedrins(notes) — there's just no way that you're prepared to defend against someone pooping a basketball. I swear, Jason Kidd(notes) adds a new wrinkle every year. I shudder to think what tricks he'll have up his ... sleeve ... next season.
Best caption wins an increase in fiber intake and a steady early morning appointment. Good luck.
Runner-up, Vcsom: Donte, after saying a tearful goodbye to his teammates, then followed Francisco Garcia's(notes) instructions to close his eyes, tap his heels together three times and keep repeating, "There's no place like home."
Second runner-up, Jimmy: "nobody likes me here, i hate summer camp."