November 14, 2011
Gotta get back in time ... Welcome to another edition of Create-a-Caption Past Lives. I bet that you are able to figure out what is happening here, because we have done a number of these and you understand context clues, but in the event that you are perplexed beyond the telling of it, take a quick trip down memory lane and you'll be up to speed in no time.
On one hand, I understand how much of a bummer it can be to hear the same song everywhere you go — come on, radio stations, would it kill you to switch up the playlist a little bit? But on the other, there's a simple reason why "Return of the Mack" checked in at No. 4 on the Billboard Top 100 chart for the week ending June 14, 1997, which was the week that the Jud-Buechler-and-Steve-Kerr-led Chicago Bulls put the finishing touches on the Utah Jazz to win their second consecutive NBA title. It's because "Return of the Mack" is great, which is why people want to hear it, which is why it's on everywhere you go and in every gym you enter (even in Utah).
So you can cover your ears all you want, star Bulls guards. You're just not going to stop Mark Morrison's take-no-prisoners march to No. 8 on the 1997 year-end Hot 100 chart.
Best caption wins noise-cancelling headphones (or, better yet, a working set of ears that can get down with Mark Morrison). Good luck.
Winner, Russell S: If you're locked out and you know it, clap your hands!
If you were drafted by the Bobcats, clap your hands!
If you're happy and you know it
Though your bank account don't show it
If you're Kemba Walker and you know it, clap your hands!
Runner-up, Al: After a failed attempt at "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider," Kemba Walker quickly crosses over and begins "Patty Cake."