Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Dear Anthony Tolliver(notes),

First of all, sorry about your face. It got dunked on pretty hard and I know that it can't be feeling too great at this point. It'll get better though. Ice helps, as does ibuprofen. Just lay low until this passes and you'll be fine.

Now that that's out of the way, a few other things. This guy, Amar'e Stoudemire(notes), he is good at dunking. He's even been in the dunk contest, and his high school performance is otherworldly. However, those were all before his knee problems, so you can be forgiven for not realizing that he's still awesome at slam-jamming.

Sorry about the mid-1990s term, but it seems appropriate since that time period seems to be your whole steez. You really look like 1997 to me, but that's just my opinion.

Anyway, there have been huge advancements in knee injury treatment lately, and microfracture surgery is no longer an NBA death sentence. These guys heal up pretty quickly, and next thing you know, they're jumping like they used to. Of course, it's been almost five years since Amar'e had his knee done, so he's at full strength. I'm guessing you know that now.

So here's my advice. When you see Amar'e Stoudemire racing down the wing on the break, maybe don't jump with him. I understand that shot-blockers try to block shots, but it's not going to work out too well for you very often. No offense, it happens to a lot of people. At the very least, maybe try to do that thing where you jump sideways at him, and kind of glide by. It's less embarrassing that way.

I'm just looking out for you because you seem like a chill bro. I don't want you to end up on the wrong side of highlights too often. So just keep this in mind. Amar'e Stoudemire is a bad man who likes to dunk on people. Don't be that guy.


Don Nelson

(Note: Don Nelson didn't really write this. It was me, Trey Kerby. Oh, and international users, click here to watch the destruction.)

Related Articles

Ball Don't Lie

Add to My Yahoo RSS

Related Photo Gallery

Y! Sports Blog