Ball Don't Lie - NBA

It's been two weeks since our last game of the season. To me, this is the most relaxing time of the year. It's these first couple weeks of the offseason that you really don't have to worry about a thing. It's your time to mentally and physically recover from a long season that, for me, started in August. There's nothing to do but watch season finales ("Heroes," "The Office"), sleep in and lift weights.

I've been doing some shooting in the gym at USF (San Francisco) in the mornings to keep my jumper tight. A few days ago, a guy walked by me and said, "Still got it, eh?" I paused. I had never gotten that comment before. I'm not old. I don't look old. I don't play like an old man. I feel like there's a certain age you reach when being told that you "still got it" means you're old. Maybe it's 35. Maybe it's 40. I guess it doesn't matter, though, because later that day I was eating lunch on campus and someone asked me if I was a new recruit.

I've also had plenty of time to update my Twitter and mogotxt accounts. Delonte West started following me on Twitter the other day. I wonder if it's really him or an imposter. I really don't think Mr. West cares what Mr. Boom Tho is doing on an hourly basis, but you never know. Maybe he shows my updates to LeBron, who then turns them into commercials for Nike. Everybody's a winner when I tweet.

Speaking on winning and Twitter, I was in Vegas last weekend visiting my boy and we were trying to find a good steakhouse on Friday night at 7p.m. Anyone who's been to Vegas knows that this is a tough thing to do because all the restaurants are full and overbooked and the waits are ridiculously long.

So, my boy suggests that he tell the restaurants that I'm somebody really famous. Well, at least famous enough to be sat down immediately at a table. I told him that I don't resemble any other basketball players that much, though I do get a Chris Taft reference on his better looking days, but that wasn’t going to be a name to get us a seat. After 10 minutes of calling steakhouses and getting the shaft, my boy pleaded with me to "try to be Kevin Garnett or something." I told him there was no way that was going to happen. Finally I remembered my best celebrity look-alike. Plaxico Burress.

I know he's shorter, and I know he's in the NFL, and I know he shot himself with his own gun, but the guy's got juice. Seriously. My boy started making calls around town saying how he had a "very high end client by the name of Plaxico Burress" and the wait times went from two hours down to thirty minutes. One place, Lawry's Steakhouse on Flamingo, offered to seat "Mr. Burress" within a few minutes. So that's where we went. I put on my shades and rolled in like I owned the place. Rod Benson was no longer Rod Benson, he was Plaxico Burress and he was eatin' good!

I'm back in the bay and back to Rod Benson for now. I did tweet that last story so maybe Delonte told LeBron. Maybe not. They are trying to win a championship. But if I see Plax in a commercial with LeBron I'm trying to get a piece of those dollars!

Rod Benson is a Cal grad who plays for the D-League's Reno Bighorns. When he's not busy eatin' steaks, he blogs one or two times a week on Ball Don't Lie. Read his archive, pay a visit to TooMuchRodBenson.com and always — ALWAYS! — support the Boom Tho movement.

Related Articles

Ball Don't Lie

Add to My Yahoo RSS

Related Photo Gallery

Y! Sports Blog