It's about that time of year right now. There are guys making their way onto NBA rosters everyday. Some of these guys make it by way of a call-up from the D-League, some come back from an overseas team and get picked up, and others are just being shuffled from team to team.  

This is the time of year that can be the most exciting to a player in my position, but also the most frustrating. It's exciting because you see guys around you getting pulled up and on to better things. I smiled when I saw that Andre Barrett got called up, even though he "doesn't saddle up on PONY's". It was a sign that guys who have paid their dues would start getting their just reward.

This time has a tendency to be frustrating as well. It's hard not to look at guys who are in the league or guys who have just recently gotten that call and think, "Man, I can do what he's doing!" It starts to take a bit of a mental toll on certain guys and they begin to play worse as a result.

I'm not a hater and I don't think that there are guys who can't play taking up roster spots in the league. Everybody who is in the league is really good at at least one thing. The way I look at it, if a guy has a spot strictly because he is a rebounder, then why can't I have a spot somewhere? I guess there isn't an exact science to this business. My agent Bill, in an attempt to put things into Rod Benson terms, told me that it's not like at Cal where a certain score produced an automatic 'A'.

Since there isn't an exact method to the madness of the call-up system, it begins to feel a bit random. Actually, it's really random. Every time I see somebody go who I didn't expect to see, it reminds me of the part in Toy Story where all the alien toys sit and wait for their chance to get out of the machine.  

Alien #1: The Claw is our master.

Alien #2: It decides who will go and who will stay.  

It's a little different than that, though. Those aliens all look the same. I've distinguished myself from other players in this league. For example, I am pretty sure I'm the only player to average 20 points and 17 rebounds over a four game stretch this season. Actually, I've done it twice. Not to mention between myself and other guys who have come close, I'm the only one also averaging 1.5 blocks and 1.5 steals.  

What I'm trying to say is that I guess stats only go so far. There's gotta be something else that's getting guys into the league that I don't know about. Maybe guys are sending gift baskets to their favorite teams. I think I saw Bill Thomas shopping on proflowers.com right before he was called up. I'm not sure but I think Andre Barrett sent a couple dozen Stuffed Crust pizzas to the Clippers the day before he was signed. Maybe I should do something. Maybe I should write an open letter to all NBA GM's listing the non-statistical reasons to sign me. Is that what the other guys did? I guess I should give it a shot ...

Dear Mr. GM,

Sign me. I know what you're thinking. You're wondering why you should sign me based on stats alone. I was thinking the same thing. That's actually a silly notion. I think you should sign me for other reasons.

You should sign me because I would be the only guy in the locker room who listens to Regina Spektor.

You should sign me because I'll spend my first check on a Nintendo Wii for the team lounge as long as you pay for 'Super Smash Bros. Brawl.'

You should sign me because I have my own shoe and if you want, I can have the whole team in some Boom Tho's.

You should sign me because I am incredibly good at paper airplanes. Maybe I could double as the half-time entertainment with my paper airplane selections.

You should sign me because 'The Wire' just ended and 'Entourage' has not yet begun, leaving me in a bit of an entertainment limbo.

You should sign me because I cook bacon on a pan better than anybody you've ever met. Yes, that's even including George Foreman. I'll give you three slices if you sign me.

You should sign me so that you look better in the midst of all the recent transactions. Gasol to the Lakers makes them a contender. O'Neal to the Suns and Kidd to the Mavs makes them contenders. Benson to the Warriors? Oh snap son! They just became contenders!

If you need more reasons, I'll happily give them to you.

Sincerely,
Rod Benson

P.S. My bacon is real good. Seriously.

There, I did it. If that letter doesn't get me in, then I've run out of ideas. Stats plus a solid letter like that better be enough. Soon I'll be like the alien from Toy Story who made it out:

"I have been chosen. Farewell, my friends. I go to a better place."

I guess he ended up at Sid's house, but still, you get the point.

Rod Benson is a Cal grad who plays for the D-League's Dakota Wizards. He also blogs every Monday, Wednesday and Friday on Ball Don't Lie. Read his archive, pay a visit to TooMuchRodBenson.com and always support the Boom Tho movement.

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