Ball Don't Lie - NBA

All around the NBA, teams have been gathering to meet the media for the first time this season. It's a tradition like none other, and they call it Media Day. And the best part is the pictures. Let's examine these amazing photographs together, as a family.

One of the first things you'll notice is that basically everyone has mohawks now, and they all look really, really good. It's just a great hairstyle for anyone and every single person that's given it a shot can pull it off equally well.

Another big trend was the glowing picture, which is pretty effective. If it can make Darius Miles(notes) look as cool as Chris Paul(notes) and Dwight Howard(notes), then you know it's a good photo filter. Even the Heat's two big free agent signings got in on the glowing goodness and they looked fearsome.

Ooooooh, scary. Like, literally, I don't want to accidentally think about this when I go to sleep. Mike Miller(notes) is haunting.

But seriously, those other new Heat players had a really nice picture taken together too.

Very nice. Very cool. Very Olan Mills.

We also learned a lot from Media Day. For instance, did you know that Dirk Nowitzki(notes) was a baker?

Totally a baker. Molecular gastronomy is probably his strong suit. He makes great cupcakes, actually. He even loaned some to Brandan Wright(notes) for a stunt he's been working on.

Hahahahahaha. You cannot balance brownie cupcakes on your head, Brandan Wright. They don't have enough structural integrity. Such a sillyhead.

We also learned that the Indiana Pacers would be a very bad substitute for the Harlem Globetrotters.

Another thing that we learned is why Michael Jordan decided to take a chance on Kwame Brown(notes).

It's because 28-year-old Kwame looks exactly like 47-year-old Michael. It makes a whole lot of sense now.

Not every mystery was solved, however. For instance, what the heck is Gerald Henderson(notes) doing in this picture?

No idea, but he's certainly doing it. Keep doing it, man.

Also, what's with new Celtics centers picking weird numbers with 6s in them?

Pretty weird, but it's good to see that these two guys look totally natural in their new slim-fit jerseys. They don't look awkward one bit.

All in all, Media Day looks like it was tons of fun. If you want proof, check out the Clippers.

Awwwww, teamwork, you guys. But I guess that's another mystery — why would anyone be that happy to be hugging Chris Kaman(notes)? I'd try to keep my distance, but I'm not a Los Angeles Clipper, so maybe I am uninformed about this situation.

Unfortunately, just up the road in Sacramento, not as much fun and laughs were being had.

Looks like Sacramento kind of got the short end of the stick when it comes to exciting photography. Relax, guys — it's Media Day, which is the happiest time of the year. It's a time for hope and celebration and pictures that you'll regret for the rest of your life.

Oh well, there's always next year.

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