Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Like it or not, Thursday night LeBron James(notes) is going on television and telling us all where he's playing next year. If you're a basketball fan, you'll probably be watching. Heck, even if you're just a casual watcher of the sport you'll probably be watching. Even if it's ridiculous — albeit so obviously preordained — it's a big deal because whatever happens will affect the NBA for at least the next 10 years.

But no matter how big this announcement will be, not everybody is going to watch. One guy included in that group is Orlando Magic head coach Stan Van Gundy who hilariously elucidated his feelings on this summer's free-agency super extravaganza to the Orlando Sentinel's Tania Ganguli.

First, SVG's thoughts on LeBron's ESPN special, "The Decision":

Come on, an hour long? It takes 15 seconds to say "I've decided to stay in Cleveland," but we've got another 59 minutes and 45 seconds to, what? Promote LeBron James? As if we don't do that enough. Look, the guy's a great player and wherever he goes, my bet would be Cleveland, that place will be excited. But an hour long special?

Stan Van Gundy knows what's up. And as good as his zingers about LeBron's show are, perhaps his best quips were reserved for Chris Bosh(notes). Here's what he said when told of Bosh's decision to join Dwyane Wade(notes) in Miami.

Well, he's been following him around for two weeks like his lapdog. So that doesn't really surprise me.

And then later, when asked about James possibly joining his bros with the Heat.

If he went anywhere but Cleveland I'd be shocked, but I'd be doubly shocked if he went to Miami. [Wade and James] both want to be the man. I think Chris Bosh was a different story. I think he had tried to be the man. It didn't work. I think he's willing to be a very, very good second fiddle.

Ya burnt, Chris Bosh. Ya burnt so bad. Of course, since he's smart and media savvy, Van Gundy also praised the Heat for their moves and Bosh for understanding that he can be successful in a Pau Gasol(notes) role. But really, he was just saying what a lot of people think — the LeBron show is overkill and Chris Bosh is really just an extremely good second fiddle who has been desperately latching on to better players all summer.

Stan Van Gundy — always the screaming, gasping voice of reason.

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