According to several sources, the Nets and Grizzlies are pretty close to a deal that would send Jason Collins to Memphis for mercurial Grizzlies forward Stromile Swift. Earlier this morning, Nets President Rod Thorn got in touch with his Memphis counterpart, Chris Wallace.

Chris Wallace: Hi Rod. Sorry about the Kidd thing.

Rod Thorn: It's cool.

Wallace: Kiki [Vandweghe] and I have laid out the framework; it's just up to you to give the final go-ahead.

Thorn: I really don't want to sign off on this until I get a better idea of who I'm trading for.

Wallace: Makes sense.

Thorn: Is Stromile listening to coach Iavaroni? Lawrence [Frank] runs a pretty complicated motion offense, and it isn't easy to pick up.

Wallace: It's hard to say, really. He has come to all our games. Except for the one he was suspended for.

Thorn: Yeah, but ...

Wallace: Good hygiene. Gets all lotioned up after the game.

Thorn: Did he report to camp in shape?

Wallace: He reported to camp.

Thorn: Was he in shape?

Wallace: He was in "Assaulted Nuts," a Memphis-area improv group. He had a great bit where he'd dress up like a harlequin, speak with a Richard Nixon affectation, and pretend to be singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" to Henry Kissinger.

Thorn: That's astonishing.

Wallace: Quite good. And the suggested donation was only five bucks.

Thorn: Is he willing to share minutes at center?

Wallace: He's willing to share a seat on the team charter with you. Likes to sit next to someone and reel off dialogue from "Top Gun." Calls Brian Cardinal "Goose," which has really set Brian's development back. It's why we couldn't trade him to Dallas.

Thorn: ‘Cause of the ...

Wallace: The "Maverick" thing.

Thorn: Yeah.

Wallace: But he's totally cool, otherwise. Except on opposite day.

Thorn: Opposite day?

Wallace: Yeah, he's way into that.

Thorn: When the hell is opposite day?

Wallace: Hard to tell, really.

Thorn: Holy crap. Does he get along with his teammates?

Wallace: As far as I can tell you, he hasn't stabbed any Puerto Rican guys.

Thorn: What does "Puerto Rican" have to do with anything?

Wallace: Because it might be possible, depending on who you listen to and what translation you like the most, that he stabbed a Cuban dude, and some lady from the Netherlands.

Thorn: Swift stabbed a guy?

Wallace: Depends on who you ask. Who are you asking?

Thorn: You.

Wallace: He stabbed a guy.

Thorn: Wow.

Wallace: Great per-minute numbers.

Thorn: (whispering, to Kiki Vandeweghe) Yeah, stabbed a guy. What? I'll ask.

Wallace: Who are you talking to?

Thorn: Kiki wants to know if Pau Gasol has said anything about him.

Wallace: About whom?

Thorn: Kiki.

Wallace: What was he supposed to have said?

Thorn: No idea.

Wallace: No, Pau hasn't said anything.

Thorn: (to Kiki) Nothing.

Wallace: So, we have a deal?

Thorn: Yeah. I should tell you, Jason Collins has been speaking with a British accent since November.

Wallace: Sounds about right.

Related: Shocking dialogue