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Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Ball Don't Lie

Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:50 am EST

Shocking dialogue: Stephon Marbury meets with Donnie Walsh

By J.E. Skeets


Disgruntled point guard Stephon Marbury and New York Knicks president Donnie Walsh met yesterday afternoon at the Knicks training facility with the hope of finding a resolution to their current stalemate. Unfortunately, things didn't go so well. But at least we scored a copy of the meeting's transcript ...

Donnie Walsh: At 2:30 p.m. on Monday, December the 1st, 2008, I, Donnie Walsh, officially call this meeting to order. You ready, Stephon?

Stephon Marbury: Hold on, let "Starebury" get some moisture up in deez rets. (Blinks rapidly) Okay, let's do this.

Walsh: In three ... two ... one ...


Marbury: Boom. Locked in.


Walsh: Ditto.


Marbury: ...


Walsh: I'm amazed you've lasted this long.


Marbury: I'm like a freakin' artificial ram.


Walsh: Impressive.


Marbury: I know.


Walsh: ...


Marbury: "No one on the corner got stare eyes like Steph, stare eyes like Steph, stare eyes like Steph ..."


Walsh: Is that really necessary?


Marbury: "No one on the corner got stare eyes like Steph, stare eyes like Steph, stare eyes like Steph ..."


Walsh: You can't seriously think a little song is going to break me? I once out-stared Stephen Jackson's pretty mug for some 36-plus hours. Get comfortable, kid.


Marbury: ...


Walsh: ...


Marbury: ...


Walsh: Hey! Eye contact!


Marbury: Sorry, I forgot what we we're doing there for a second.


Walsh: ...


Marbury: ...


Walsh: Good gum?


Marbury: Bazooka Joe.


Walsh: Ah, a classic.


Marbury: ...


Walsh: Hey! (Whistles) Line of gaze!


Marbury: ...


Walsh: You're not very good at this.


Marbury: ...


Walsh: What are you smiling at?


Marbury: I just remembered I'm getting paid $21 milllion to look at those bags.


Walsh: ...


Marbury: Dude, do you ever sleep?


Walsh: ...


Marbury: You look like Paul Bearer.


Walsh: ...


Marbury: You know, Kane, The Undertaker ... "I'm Paul Bearer and you're not!"


Walsh: Okay, time to put this baby to bed.


Marbury: What are you doing?


Walsh: Look into my eyes, look into my eyes ...


Marbury: Hey! Stop that! You can't use glasses.


Walsh: The eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around my eyes, look into my eyes ...


Marbury: No! No! Haigas, help! Call the cops! Call Derek Fisher!


Walsh: Right into my eyes, deep into my eyes, you're in my eyes, you are my eyes ...


Marbury: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (Blinks) I GIVE! I GIVE! UNCLE!


Walsh: Phew. (Checks watch) 15 minutes. New record.


Marbury: I'M BLIND! DEAR LORD, I'M BLIND!


Walsh: Now get the hell out of here.


Marbury: You have problems, old man. Sick, sick problems.


Walsh: Yeah, boo-hoo. Say hi to your mother for me, okay?

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93 Comments

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  1. the REAL Headless Chicken
    1. Posted by the REAL Headless Chicken Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:12 pm EDT

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    First I thought KD should have done this. But nice job. Close skeets, close to KD's Kidd drama. Those pics missing in the middle are due to "technical problems"? Like smoking toast and eggs???
  2. robert g
    2. Posted by robert g Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:46 pm EDT

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    Thank you for the entertainment!!!!!! i almost die falling off my chair laughing!!! i needed a great laught!
    seriously...can someone pay me only a measely $100,000 to do what "starebury" is doing to get paid these days.....$21 million.....oh my g.d! for all that money he acts like such a big jerk!!!
    if i had one wish for marbury...it would for him to lose every single dime he has ever earned in the nba and let him feel what it is truly like to work a 9-5 job that you truly hate...getting paid minimum wage, raise a family...and try to pay your rent with that.
    marbury...starbury, or starebury or whatever you want to be called....i respected you as a player when you were with the timberwolves and as selfish as you were in nj.....but now
    you are just a selfish bastard!!!!! may god have mercy on your own soul......who in the world gets paid $20 million...not thousands.......millions.....just to play ball. man you are living the greatest life and do not even know it...yet you act like the biggest jerk of them all!!!!
    shame on you marbury......i will never, ever purchase any more products with the name marbury on it....i do not care how cheap it gets!! you are a big letdown to me as a fan (once a big fan of yours) and the ny knicks franchise........$21 million!!!!!!!!! unbelievable!!!!!!!
    msg, mr dolan....please could you throw some money my way...i could really use it! the difference is...i would do a whole lot more than marbury has ever done for your organization in 5 years!!!!
  3. imposibol
    3. Posted by imposibol Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:23 pm EDT

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    good one
  4. Andrew K
    4. Posted by Andrew K Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:23 pm EDT

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    stick to analysis.
  5. Camron S
    5. Posted by Camron S Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:28 pm EDT

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    You look like paul bearer. LOL 4 real.
  6. KD
    6. Posted by KD Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:48 pm EDT

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    Starebury is perfect. Stephen Jackson. Hell yes.
    Don't worry, Andrew K. Kobe would have beaten all of them in a staring contest.
  7. shadowdog87
    7. Posted by shadowdog87 Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:15 pm EDT

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    Hahaha. Anyone else think Walsh looks like the Emperor from Star Wars?
  8. weston
    8. Posted by weston Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:48 pm EDT

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    hee
  9. John C
    9. Posted by John C Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:38 pm EDT

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    Stephon Marbury is the biggest joke of the NBA without question!
  10. Sky P
    10. Posted by Sky P Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:26 pm EDT

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    #8- I've spent the past 15 minutes trying to MS Paint his face on the emperor's body. But I failed. Someone who is good with photoshop needs to do this STAT!
  11. Arnold S
    11. Posted by Arnold S Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:05 pm EDT

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    The Knicks couldn't get rid of "Star"bury in a knick of time before the start of the season. Please! Marbury should be shoved out the door. He's not worth NBA material. Knicks, please go away.
  12. mcwelk
    12. Posted by mcwelk Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:14 pm EDT

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    Oh, they're "famous."
  13. Beth B
    13. Posted by Beth B Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:40 pm EDT

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    Mr. Marbury reminds me of those women who cleave themselves to women-beaters and then walk down the street and assert, "Hey, at least I got a man!" And finally when that "man" pummels her face to the point of no return, she finds a similar replacement, for that's all she knows. Mr. Marbury rides down the street in his Rolls and asserts, "Hey, at least I got my money!" And this "man" gets pummeled in the press to the point of no return and finds a replacement team. However, for the both the woman and Marbury, the ending is the same: they'll both be hags, broke and alone. I don't wish this on him, but this agentless multi-millionaire also doesn't likely have someone to manage his portfolio. Magic Johnson said that most NBA players spend what they earn, thinking that that the pro athlete teat will forever flow with sweet milk. If I'm going to quote NBA greats, I'll also quote Scottie Pippen, who conceded after years that he was wrong about his infamous migrane, that it might have been his fault and that a professional athlete's job is to go home and get rest and be ready to play the next day. I have a public profession where I'm paid to entertain and I do that and I'm glad to do that and my friends asset that I'm not as much fun as I once was and they're right.
  14. raceface2737
    14. Posted by raceface2737 Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:25 pm EDT

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    That was a great post.
    *starts slow clap*
  15. Phx Stan
    15. Posted by Phx Stan Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:14 pm EDT

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    Thanks for filling pages and pages of my RSS reader with these two faces.
    One word.
    Thumbnail.
  16. LG
    16. Posted by LG Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:53 pm EDT

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    Is Beth B Tas Melas?
  17. BigMac
    17. Posted by BigMac Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:21 pm EDT

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    I think that the knicks if they didn't have any plans for Marbury should've cut him from training camp or have him stay home with pay from the begining. They created a mess and while i'm the biggest steph hater, i think the knicks are taking this personal. Dolan is blaming steph for them losing the sexual harrassment case and D'Antoni is doing the same. If the coached wanted him to play, he should be straight forward and say Steph get dress you are playing tonight, if he said NO then you can suspend him. Steph if he is asked to play will not say
    because he is not going to give away his money like that. I don't believe D'Antoni and he looks like he is lying. In this case i believe steph and i think the Knicks management wants to embarrass him but at the end they are going to look like a fool.
  18. JR S
    18. Posted by JR S Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:39 pm EDT

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    marbury reminds me of stacy patton from the movie eddie....
  19. Donovan L
    19. Posted by Donovan L Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:46 pm EDT

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    could anyone tell me what MARBURY did wrong.if you can,t then tell me what the stupid a-- D'ANTONI/WALSH did do.see you suckers in court.
  20. ASGisChillin
    20. Posted by ASGisChillin Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:58 pm EDT

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    nice work skeets, good isht.
  21. Bobbie Browns Anger Manager
    21. Posted by Bobbie Browns Anger Manager Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:18 pm EDT

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    Now that is freakin hillarious!! Kudo's to the writer and all who mae it to the end! LOOOOOK INTO MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  22. Bobbie Browns Anger Manager
    22. Posted by Bobbie Browns Anger Manager Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:18 pm EDT

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    What are you an idiot Donovan? Directly disobeying the coach, his boss is what he did this time.. He deserves to get fired. Like any other hostile employee. he says he never used the words "I won't play?" Who cares WHAT words he used? You don't have to use any words to disobey authority. Get with it man. Marbury is a joke, and he knows it. He's never had any true devotion to the game or his team to be a winner. Good riddance!
  23. spurs4real
    23. Posted by spurs4real Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:08 pm EDT

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    ok 24...what part of we are going in a different direction and you are not a part of it. (Who cares how the coach said it)., made it ok not play Marbury in the first place. It's not disobeying when someone asks you to do something its a choice. I agree Marbury is a joke. But let's not act like the Knicks have had their hands tied this whole time.
  24. Erik O.
    24. Posted by Erik O. Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:17 pm EDT

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    Liked the Paul Bearer, Kane, and Undertaker references. Nice job, Skeets. Funny pictures, too.

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Ball Don't Lie is an NBA blog edited by J.E. Skeets. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

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Kelly Dwyer, Rod Benson, Trey Kerby, Nick Friedell, Garbage Time All-Stars, Blair Johnson,

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