Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Ball Don't Lie

Thu Feb 28, 2008 5:10 pm EST

Photo fun: Jarrett Jack believes in his Blazers

By J.E. Skeets



Jarrett Jack: Sons of Portland! I am Jarrett Jack.

Steve Blake: But Jarrett Jack is over six feet tall!

Jarrett Jack: Yes, I've heard. 6'3". Scores points by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he'd consume the Clippers with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.

[Blazers laugh]

Jarrett Jack: I AM Jarrett Jack! And I see a whole team of my Blazers, here, in defiance of the Western Conference powers. You've come to play as free men, and free men you are. But what will you do with that freedom? Will you make the playoffs?

James Jones: Against the Nuggets, Warriors and Rockets? No, we'll run, and we'll live.

Jarrett Jack: Aye, try and you may lose, run, and you'll live ... at least a while. And then dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell the West that they may take our rebounds, but they'll never take ... OUR PLAYOFFS!!!!!

[Blazers cheer]

UPDATE: HP takes this to the next level after the jump.

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23 Comments

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  1. lakers fan
    1. Posted by lakers fan Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:36 pm EDT

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    I am sparta!
  2. lakers fan
    2. Posted by lakers fan Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:36 pm EDT

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    i am sparta!
  3. baller13zg
    3. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    lol... hysterical
  4. timhoffman7
    4. Posted by timhoffman7 Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:10 pm EDT

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    JJ is the man!
    GO BLAZERZ!!!
  5. Odenized
    5. Posted by Odenized Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:57 pm EDT

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    Sounds like you stole some Viggo Mortensen lines from the Return of the King, Skeets.
  6. Odenized
    6. Posted by Odenized Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:57 pm EDT

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    Sounds like you stole some Viggo Mortensen lines from the Return of the King, Skeets.
  7. Alan C
    7. Posted by Alan C Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:19 pm EDT

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    i thought it was a 300 reference at first, but this is William Wallace.
    Tonight we dine at MORTON'S!!
  8. shadowdog87
    8. Posted by shadowdog87 Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:15 pm EDT

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    Does this mean Jarrett Jacks gets dragged alive through the streets of LA, hung until near-dead, drawn (his intestines pulled out and burned while he watches), then quartered?
  9. daniel b
    9. Posted by daniel b Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:29 pm EDT

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    best movie ever, just because of this, the blazers will win a title if not more in the next 3 years. you may quote me on that
  10. Chronic T
    10. Posted by Chronic T Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:06 pm EDT

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    Georgia tech! georgia tech!!!
    jack jack jack!!!
    he is so good!!
  11. Jeff Wong
    11. Posted by Jeff Wong Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:32 pm EDT

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    Genius, thy name is neither Einstein nor Kobe; 'tis J.E. Skeets.
  12. _
    12. Posted by _ Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:33 pm EDT

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    I wish this dork would stop writing so much.
  13. The Commish
    13. Posted by The Commish Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:51 pm EDT

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    You guys still have to get through the spurs..........remember the alamo .......
  14. The Commish
    14. Posted by The Commish Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:51 pm EDT

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    you guys still have to get through the spurs..........remember the alamo .......
  15. Donny Dutch
    15. Posted by Donny Dutch Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:16 pm EDT

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    swear it's copying braveheart
  16. Donny Dutch
    16. Posted by Donny Dutch Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:16 pm EDT

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    swear it's copying braveheart
  17. iml0ng
    17. Posted by iml0ng Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:23 pm EDT

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    I hate Jarrett Jack. he can't run the fast break. he's not Chris Paul. good player for the team, but he's not Chris Paul.
    oh well blazers are going to be dangerous next year.
  18. JEOMK
    18. Posted by JEOMK Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:11 pm EDT

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    LOL Brilliant.
  19. handsoffjimmy
    19. Posted by handsoffjimmy Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:15 pm EDT

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    I think I've seen humour like this elsewhere on the internets
  20. jas15
    20. Posted by jas15 Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:09 pm EDT

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    i think the lines are from braveheart...
  21. morgan w
    21. Posted by morgan w Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:26 pm EDT

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    HAHAHAHAHA...
    "We'll make jump shots, twice as long as a man."
    "That long?"
    "Aye."
    "Some men are longer than others."
    "Steve Blake's been telling you stories about me."
  22. morgan w
    22. Posted by morgan w Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:26 pm EDT

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    hahahahaha...
    "we'll make jump shots, twice as long as a man."
    "that long?"
    "aye."
    "some men are longer than others."
    "steve blake's been telling you stories about me."
  23. D1 stautus
    23. Posted by D1 stautus Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:51 pm EDT

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    Blazers are bomb babby

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Ball Don't Lie is an NBA blog edited by J.E. Skeets. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

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