June 19, 2009
Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.
Hey, basketball fan. Do you hate sleeping? Enjoy scaring small children? Abhor personal contact with the opposite sex? Or maybe you just have an unquenchable desire for Kobe Bryant(notes) memorabilia. No matter what your reason, I've got the perfect product for you: a life-size Kobe Bryant bobblehead.
For just $13,000 — yes, that's right, count those zeros! — you can guarantee that neighborhood kids will run, not walk, past your abode. You can usher in a new era in awkwardness, as the room housing BobbleKobe becomes everybody's least favorite. Why waste time sleeping when you can worry about this enormous monstrosity toppling on to you, smothering your every breath. And of course, that haunting grin, which is sure to guarantee you endless nights alone.
Ball Don't Lie's Swag Rating: One measly Muggsy Bogues ...