Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Ball Don't Lie

Fri Jun 19, 2009 2:35 pm EDT

Phenomenal Swag: Kobe Bryant life-size bobblehead

By Trey Kerby

Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

Hey, basketball fan. Do you hate sleeping? Enjoy scaring small children? Abhor personal contact with the opposite sex? Or maybe you just have an unquenchable desire for Kobe Bryant(notes) memorabilia. No matter what your reason, I've got the perfect product for you: a life-size Kobe Bryant bobblehead.

For just $13,000 — yes, that's right, count those zeros! — you can guarantee that neighborhood kids will run, not walk, past your abode. You can usher in a new era in awkwardness, as the room housing BobbleKobe becomes everybody's least favorite. Why waste time sleeping when you can worry about this enormous monstrosity toppling on to you, smothering your every breath. And of course, that haunting grin, which is sure to guarantee you endless nights alone.

All in all, a great investment piece.

Ball Don't Lie's Swag Rating: One measly Muggsy Bogues ...


H/T: Dime

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66 Comments

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  1. Rise With Us
    1. Posted by Rise With Us Fri Jun 19, 2009 2:44 pm EDT

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    STUUUUUUUUUUPID!!!!!!!! I would burn it!
  2. bullseye2
    2. Posted by bullseye2 Fri Jun 19, 2009 2:52 pm EDT

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    all you have to do is trade in the 4 trophy's from kobes championships and you'd still have a 1,000 left for shipping!
  3. ognihs
    3. Posted by ognihs Fri Jun 19, 2009 2:56 pm EDT

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    i'm just posting to let everyone know i'm not interested.
  4. C
    4. Posted by C Fri Jun 19, 2009 2:57 pm EDT

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    This thing looks more like a J R Rider Statue than anything.
  5. QuAzY
    5. Posted by QuAzY Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:23 pm EDT

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    I love the lakers and kobe but i'll pass on this one
  6. DennardC
    6. Posted by DennardC Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:50 pm EDT

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    Very creepy.
  7. Anton
    7. Posted by Anton Fri Jun 19, 2009 6:24 pm EDT

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    No mean mugging? False advertising!!!!
  8. Tim
    8. Posted by Tim Fri Jun 19, 2009 7:50 pm EDT

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    Therapist
  9. jaba t
    9. Posted by jaba t Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:40 pm EDT

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    The only thing that could make this creepier is if he was doing the stupid underbite "mean" mug from the Finals.
  10. aaron
    10. Posted by aaron Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:17 pm EDT

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    Stupid jerk!!! You're just like B. Simmons. All out to destroy Kobe!
  11. marcello s
    11. Posted by marcello s Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:21 pm EDT

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    You are right tell the fathers out there to lock up their daughters because you are a threat to their safety. They should not be afraid of kobe. hey should be afraid of you, but then again, you fit the profile of a serial killer you moron. Get lost moron! The lakers have won the title instead of your pathetic team, so move on and pray that kobe send you a turkey for thanksgiving because you can't afford to buy one anyway. Go lakers!! repeat and threepeat
  12. marcello s
    12. Posted by marcello s Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:28 pm EDT

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    jealous jerk! Kobe bryant is once again the most marketable sport figure in the united states and that includes tiger woods, not your gay idol, and by the way, he made 64 million for the year according to Forbes magazine. The most popular in the world. ha Ha! Put on your kkk hood and get lost because laker haters are just hanging by a thread.
  13. marcello s
    13. Posted by marcello s Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:29 pm EDT

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    you can't afford it to start with.
  14. Nathan-
    14. Posted by Nathan- Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:16 am EDT

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    thats the best they could come up with?
    wow
  15. Przemyslaw K
    15. Posted by Przemyslaw K Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:02 am EDT

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    im gonna have to scoop one up....
  16. kevin
    16. Posted by kevin Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:05 pm EDT

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    does that doll rape like kobe does. lol, does it pay over a million when its innocent. lol, is it barred from colorado like he should be? lol
  17. Duuuude
    17. Posted by Duuuude Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:31 pm EDT

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    Lakers the champs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  18. H9K
    18. Posted by H9K Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:51 pm EDT

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    He is the best player, this thing would be awesome to have standing by your front door. I would love to see peoples reaction haha
  19. omar s
    19. Posted by omar s Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:18 pm EDT

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    IF the game did not have kobe or lebron or wade then who would step up? But kobe was great, he was, and Tiger and kobe are trying to caring on the great people legacy before them, but I thought it was already impessive that the lakers had already made it to the finals again. They are still a young team. I thought that two players do manage the clock better then half of the people in the Nba thats billups and kobe bryant, and it was also amazing that the lakers won because were was v, f, l, there bench players, they only rely on six players, but what you got to like about v,f,l is how they can run you around the court, even if they are not shooting no where near 100%.
  20. omar s
    20. Posted by omar s Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:29 pm EDT

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    Just to have something that big in my house that symbolizes kobe bryant , argument, the best player in the world, I would buy it if it was cheaper. Kobe can pass the ball as good as he can shoot, but it is always the right pass, half of the time. Arize, odem and fisher that were great at times, and no way was it a ones man game, and don't forget paul gasol he is one of the best hook shooters that you probably seen in along time, he made some great plays, not mention that he was in the game in the season and the playoff, and in the finals the majority of the time, who has been teaching him, some of the other centers need some pointers, well except for shaq.
  21. KarenA
    21. Posted by KarenA Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:55 pm EDT

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    Ugh, that looks nothing - NOTHING - like him. That makes me sad. Otherwise, it's pretty awesome. Although I'll be happy with just a regular-sized bobblehead on my desk - one that looked just like KB24. :)
  22. The Real Black Mamba
    22. Posted by The Real Black Mamba Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:16 pm EDT

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    It don't look like Kobe, so guess nobody wants to buy it... make it more realistic features, yeah it look like more of a J.R. Stupid Rider................
  23. KobeMvp09
    23. Posted by KobeMvp09 Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:39 pm EDT

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    I live kobe and lakers but i pass on this one... All i am going to say is that Mbenga is better than Lebron......Mbenga: 1 ring.....Lebron: 0 Rings........
    LEBRON SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  24. Duz The Man
    24. Posted by Duz The Man Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:41 pm EDT

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    god i hope kobe quits the nba soon hes a pos... overrated he should be more like the rest of the league and use his team
  25. sun m
    25. Posted by sun m Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:59 pm EDT

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    Keep on building Kobe Bryant monuments!! The greatest player that ever played basketball!! Its just so hard to be humble when you are ALWAYS number 1 and on top of basketball and on top of the world. Some people just cannot accept reality that they don't have one like the caliber of Kobe. Jealousy breeds Laker haters. Great Lakers, Great Champion, Great City of Angels!!

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