Phenomenal Swag: Blazer-themed glass pipes

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Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internets for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. E-mail Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

Yesterday, Skeets briefly mentioned how Randy Brown was forced to auction his three Chicago Bulls championship rings to combat bankruptcy. Today, in related news, Qyntel Woods is trying to trade you his custom Blazer-themed glass pipes for some sweet playoff tickets, dude.

Now this might not actually be Qyntel. But if it's not, it's probably Damon Stoudamire. Or maybe Rasheed Wallace is itching to see some actual basketball. Then again, it could be Zach Randolph. Oh, wait. It might be Bonzi Wells. Or is he still playing in China? How about Isaiah Rider?

Geez. It could be quite a few ex-Blazers. (Hehehehe, Blazers, maaaaan.) Of course, this is in Portland. There are probably 500,000 people who could make you this offer. Stay in school kids!

Thanks, and a large bag of Doritos, to NBA Noise for the tip.

Ball Don't Lie's Swag Rating: Three slightly stoned Tyrones ...

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1. Posted by Colorado Kobe aka The All-Mighty Ball Hogg MEssiah Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:45 pm EDT
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Previously used by Darius Miles, Zach Randolph, Damon Stoudemire, Rod Strickland, Dale Davis, Ruben Patterson, Shawn Kemp, Stacey Augmon, greg anthony & Scottie Pippen... I heard Arvydas Sabonis hit it 2
2. Posted by SCSF- LA where repeats and 3-peats happen! Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:48 pm EDT
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think I'm going to barf!
Blazzers are done after tonight.........!
3. Posted by Francis T Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:53 pm EDT
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i want these!
4. Posted by Greg W Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:57 pm EDT
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Colorado Kobe - You forgot 'Sheed, man!
5. Posted by Travis Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:59 pm EDT
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Blazers in 7.
6. Posted by three6wonzero813 Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:01 pm EDT
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Typical Northwest, Blaze on!
7. Posted by Rise With Us Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:10 pm EDT
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Yeah ALL MIGHTY!! Dont forget Rashreed & JR Rider too!!!
Blazers in 7!!! GO BLAZERS!!!
8. Posted by ivans Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:15 pm EDT
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Fire skeets
9. Posted by Simmsinns Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:17 pm EDT
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The black one is pretty badass, but the real question is: Do they come with a bag of Blazer-themed Cheetos?
Perhaps that'd of bumped 'em up a few Tyrones, eh?
10. Posted by Envigado Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:24 pm EDT
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Ha ha, those are actually pretty nice.
Pops occasionally thinks he sees J.R. (Isaiah? NEVER!) Rider's Bentley near his job. Maybe he can help me break one of those in.
But I don't think Arvydas would have been messing with those unless he was trying to drink vodka through em.
11. Posted by dave Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:26 pm EDT
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the herb in cali is better, but you cant mess with the word play...hey man no sales tax on those pipes!!!
12. Posted by jacko Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:26 pm EDT
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damon wrapped one of these in foil and tried to sneak it through security at pdx.
13. Posted by Joshua S Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:33 pm EDT
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Are these the Damon Stoudamire Special Edition pipes they were giving out to the first 1000 fans this year?
14. Posted by Joshua S Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:34 pm EDT
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I'm outta here all the crack heads are coming out of the woodwork! April 20th was last week, tweekers.
15. Posted by Rise With Us Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:40 pm EDT
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LOL # 11
I loved Arvydas but that was hella funny!
Rider sucked! I cant remember if he got caught getting drunk with minors or stoned...... probably both!!
Who can forget the I-5 trip when Damon and Sheed got pulled over driving back from a Sonics game with like 5lbs of hash in the car!!! Those were some tough years to be a fan.
lol to #13 too! Mighty Mouse my a$$!!!!
Glad those days are so over!
16. Posted by Raz Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:47 pm EDT
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It's good to see that Qyntel has both home and away pipes. I wonder if he is keeping his "throwback" pipe to himself.
17. Posted by Jason Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:58 pm EDT
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One of those would be a great piece
18. Posted by Gassy Garry Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:12 pm EDT
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Humble county!!
19. Posted by CAVS CHAMPS 2010 (next dynasty) Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:14 pm EDT
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I knew they were hittin that pipe kinda hard. NO WONDER THEY PLAY THE SLOWEST TEMPO GAME IN THE NBA
20. Posted by S C Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:25 pm EDT
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ahhh i love this blog! bringing my two favorite passions together...basketball and weed!!!
21. Posted by DICK SMOTHERS Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:29 pm EDT
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They aren't called the "blazers" 4 nothing......nice.
22. Posted by Z Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:46 pm EDT
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actually these are pretty common to see in head shops in portland/eugene
23. Posted by ziro Thu Apr 30, 2009 3:02 pm EDT
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Lol Blazers crack pipes
24. Posted by Ryan Thu Apr 30, 2009 3:03 pm EDT
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Rider got busted by the side of the road in Lake Oswego getting high from a pop can. A glass pipe is too fancy for him....
25. Posted by 10FootBongz Thu Apr 30, 2009 3:57 pm EDT
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Those gotta be Snotties.