June 17, 2008
It's no secret White House hopeful Barack Obama is an enthusiastic basketball fan. He plays pick-up ball religiously, says he'll replace the White House bowling alley with a basketball court if he wins the presidency, and is considering adding former Knicks' Hall of Famer Bill Bradley as his Democratic Vice President running mate.
Which got me thinking: what would Obama's executive cabinet look like if he could only assemble it choosing current NBA players?
Here's what I came up with:
Vice President: Tim Duncan. RedBlueAmerica tells me that a major part of the choice for VP is the individual's ability to "fill in the blanks" of the presidential candidate. Duncan's solid winning record and his hard-working demeanor make him very attractive to the kinds of voters who some claim would never vote for the flashier Obama.
Secretary of Defense: Dikembe Mutombo. The role of the Secretary of Defense is to be the principal defense policy advisor to the President and is responsible for the formulation and execution of general defense. Deke could clean up Iraq with one wave of his finger. (Bonus: He speaks nine languages.)
Secretary of the Treasury: Raef LaFrentz. Raef once convinced the Dallas Mavericks to pay him $70 million dollars in exchange for seven years of nothing. That is exactly the type of man you want in charge of finance and monetary matters.
Secretary of State: Jamario Moon. Moon's knowledge of every basketball city in the world is impressive. He has played in the United States Basketball League, the Continental Basketball Association, a Mexican basketball league, the World Basketball Association, the Development League, the American Basketball Association, and even once suited up for the Harlem Globetrotters. At 27-years-old, he is very, very worldly.
Attorney General: Etan Thomas. The US Attorney General is the head of the Department of Justice concerned with legal affairs and is the chief law enforcement officer of the United States government. Etan Thomas is smart. Works for me.
Secretary of Agriculture: Jordan Farmar.
Secretary of Labor: Derek Fisher. Has experience acting as the president of the players union.
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Richard Hamilton. Rip could become the masked-face of Obama's massive heath-care reforms.
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Mayor Shaq.
Secretary of Education: Chris Bosh. According to the Wik, CB4 was a member of the National Honor Society and is a member of the National Society of Black Engineers. Also, survived the Ice Age.
Secretary of Energy: Sam Cassell. Sam-I-Am likely knows the whereabouts (and how to harness) untapped, natural resources from the galaxy's distant planets.
Secretary of Transportation: Anyone but a Lakers player. (See: two plane malfunctions and a bus caught on fire. They're shady.)